


Fortune Cookies

by destieldrabblesdaily



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angel!Castiel, Bottom!Cas, Like there are wings but he can hide them, M/M, Porn with Feelings, Soulmates, Wingfic, alternative universe, human!dean
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-08
Updated: 2016-06-28
Packaged: 2018-02-28 16:59:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 44,550
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2740085
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/destieldrabblesdaily/pseuds/destieldrabblesdaily
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean and his best friend Jo own a bakery together. When a salesman named Crowley visits Dean to make a deal, Dean has no idea of the consequences, and his world turns upside down when an actual angel literally crashes into his life. For the first time in his thirty-year-existence, Dean is overwhelmed by real companionship, wings, and most of all... love.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> All the actual chapters are up now! There will be one more part, which is a little bonus epilogue.
> 
> Anyway, enjoy!
> 
> destieldrabblesdaily.tumblr.com

“Are you gonna manage to survive without me for an entire hour, Winchester?” Jo checked teasingly as she headed for the exit of _‘A Taste Of Heaven’_.

Dean Winchester dramatically rolled his eyes at his business partner, before teasing her right back. “Yeah, I think I’ll live. Besides, the absence of your constant talking might be nice for a change. Go have fun on your hot date.”

Jo childishly stuck out her tongue. “You’re just jealous because you, my friend, are _doomed_ when it comes to dating.”

Dean didn’t even bother to come up with a witty comeback to Jo’s comment regarding his non-existent love life, because he knew that she was painfully _right_. He settled for merely making a weird face at her.

She chuckled before calling a ‘ _goodbye_ ’ and closing the door of the bakery behind her, theatrically flipping her curly blonde hair over her shoulder as she darted towards her car.

The fact that Jo Harvelle and Dean Winchester had been friends since the time that they were a couple of teenagers both covered in acne, was the main reason that they accepted each other’s constant teasing without either of them ending up killing the other.

Dean absentmindedly gazed around the shop. Jo had done most of the decorating, and so it had a warm, homey feeling to it. Basically, Dean had been alright with it all, although he’d made her promise to please not include any floral prints or other too ‘ _girly_ ’ elements. Jo had kept her word, and she had turned the store into a place that they could both appreciate.

There was a rare silence now that Jo was gone; for the first time in months, it was a fairly quiet day at their bakery. Not that Dean minded, he was happy to have a short moment to catch his breath. Jo seemed to agree, and she had gladly taken this opportunity to quit early, leaving Dean to close the store at six, seeing as she had made dinner plans with her boyfriend Adam. She and Adam were getting pretty serious, and from the way Jo talked about the guy, Dean had a strong suspicion that they were heading in the forever-deal direction.

Seeing as the bakery was deserted, Dean went to the back of the store and disappeared through the door that led to a small office, figuring that he might as well use this hour to get some paperwork done. Business was going well, but the usually busy days at the shop had ensured that he and Jo were seriously behind when it came to the administrative tasks...

When Jo had asked Dean if he was interested in running a business together, about five years ago, Dean had been hesitant as first. However, when his best friend had informed him that lots of _pie_ was going to be involved, he had made up his mind within less than a minute. It had all been more or less rushed, but back then Dean had been in between jobs anyway, and he’d decided that he had nothing to lose.

To this very day he had never once regretted his decision to go along with Jo’s crazy plan to open a bakery together, and considering how well business was going, he was confident that it would stay that way. Dean and Jo made a great team; Jo and their employee Garth did most of the baking, whereas Dean occupied himself with selling the products and interacting with the costumers at the store, putting on his most charming face while doing so. And tasting new flavors of pie, _naturally._

Dean was fully focused on this month’s finances, intently staring at the screen of his laptop, when a loud ‘beep’ informed him that a customer had just entered the store. He got up to go to the front, closing the door of the office behind him.

He was greeted by a dark haired man in his late forties, who was wearing a long dark coat and a way-too-enthusiastic grin on his face. In his right hand he was carrying a neat black briefcase. Dean was momentarily thrown by the guy’s unusual appearance, but soon recovered and greeted his customer politely.

“Hello, what can I do for you today?” He asked, nodding at the man that he’d never seen before, something that was remarkable in this small town.

The man grinned even wider, if that were possible. “Hello boy. The name’s _Crowley_.”

Dean blinked at him, astonished, seeing as normal customers didn’t bother with introductions but merely ordered the food they wanted to buy.

The man who had introduced himself as Crowley took advantage of Dean’s speechlessness, the grin never fading as he spoke again. “And the answer to your unspoken question is: I’m not here to _buy_ , I’m here to _sell_.”

Realization finally dawned on Dean, seeing as this hadn’t been the first time that he had encountered a salesman who was interested in Dean and Jo selling their products; the bakery, although tiny, had a decent reputation.

“I see. So tell me, what do you have to offer?” He asked in a professional tone, his eyes wandering to Crowley’s briefcase.

Crowley smirked. “I’m glad you asked. How about we take this to a more _private_ place?”

Dean shrugged, lifting up his hand as a gesture for Crowley to follow him to the undersized office. Once they were inside and Crowley closed the door behind him, Dean looked at him expectantly.

“So, let’s see what you’ve got here.”

That too-bright smile was still plastered on Crowley’s face as he placed the briefcase on the desk, opening it in front of Dean. Once Dean got a first glimpse of what was in there, he quizzically raised one of his eyebrows.

“Really dude, fortune cookies? What do you think this is, freaking Chinatown?” He scoffed.

Crowley barked out a short laugh, but Dean was positive that it had nothing to do with his lame attempt at a joke. “These aren’t ordinary fortune cookies, dear boy. These little treasures actually _live up_ to the title ‘fortune cookie’.”

Dean frowned, picking up one of the crescent-shaped cookies.

As he studied it, Crowley snorted. “Alright, maybe I’m exaggerating. But I can assure you that they taste unlike _anything_ you’ve ever tasted. _A taste of Heaven_ , if you will.”

Just as Dean was about to break the cookie open, Crowley grabbed his wrist, shaking his head. “Nuh uh uh.” He warned.

“If you want me to sell them, you’ll need to at least let me taste them.” Dean countered incredulously, releasing his wrist from the salesman’s grasp.

“And you will.” Crowley replied cheerfully. “I have done my homework before I came here though. I assume your business partner will have a voice in this as well, so I’ll make you a deal.”

“Alright. What would that be?” Dean watched him cautiously as he responded.

 “Simple. All of these special cookies are yours.” Crowley royally waved his hand at the briefcase that was stuffed with fortune cookies. “And believe me, they _are_ special. Just take your time. Try some yourself, let your friends try them... Some of your loyal customers perhaps. And once the time is _right_ , I will be back, and you will tell me whether or not you want to sell my product at your precious little store.”

“That’s all?” Dean checked, still somewhat suspicious.

“That’s all.” Crowley repeated Dean’s words, smile still in place. “No extra costs. These are free for you to try, and later on, you can tell me where this business relationship goes from here.”

At the man’s explanation, Dean decided that it wouldn’t hurt to give it a try. He was always looking for new best-selling products, and this wouldn’t cost him anything. “Okay, I suppose I could… give them a try. I’ll discuss it with my co-owner.” He said, glancing at the briefcase again.

“So, do we have a deal?” Crowley was holding out his hand to Dean as he said this.

“Sure, _we have a deal_.” Dean agreed, tentatively shaking the salesman’s hand.

“Excellent.” Dean briefly wondered if he was only imagining the prominently present excitement in Crowley’s tone. “I’ll be going then, Dean Winchester. We’ll be in touch.”

Dean was a bit flabbergasted as he watched Crowley confidently stride out of the office without closing the door behind him, then exiting the store. Before he realized that he hadn’t even asked the guy for his business card, it was too late; Crowley was already out of sight. Dean’s eyes landed back on the fortune cookies, and he was wondering if they were truly as special as the salesman had claimed they were. He shrugged, closing the briefcase, deciding that he would worry about them later.

Little did he know that he had just now made both the _worst_ and _best_ deal that he would ever make in his life…  


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The first actual chapter, enjoy! More updates later this week.

As Dean opened the door of his beloved Impala, about to drive home, he got distracted by the buzzing of his cell phone, accompanied by the sound of Right Said Fred’s song _‘I’m Too Sexy’_.  Seeing as this ringtone was obviously not Dean’s choice, he growled under his breath as he pulled the phone out of the pocket of his jeans. “I’m gonna _kill_ you for touching my phone, Jo Harvelle.”

He tossed the briefcase with the fortune cookies to the backseat, before smoothly sliding behind the wheel as he checked the caller ID. ‘ _Sammy_ ’, it read.

“Hey there, little brother. What’s the word?” He answered the phone as he turned the key in the ignition.

“Just checking that you didn’t forget that you’re supposed to come over for dinner tonight.” Sam’s voice sounded almost accusative from the other end of the line, as if he pretty much _expected_ that Dean had forgotten about it. In Sam’s defense: that was actually the case.

“Oh ehm, no. Sure, I didn’t forget, Sammy.” Dean sputtered out as he recalled that Sam and his fiancée had indeed invited him over to have a home cooked meal with them tonight, for once saving him from cheap microwaved spaghetti.  

Sam chuckled. “Yeah right, Dean. Jess made your favorite, so you’d better show up.”

“Oh come on, give me some credit!” Dean whined. “I’m already on my way. I’ll see you in fifteen, okay?”

“Okay dude, sorry for doubting you then.”

Dean could hear that Sam was mocking him, and he rolled his eyes at the phone before hanging up, even though his brother couldn’t see it anyway.

He briefly considered going home to change, but decided against it, heading straight for his younger brother’s house, which was only a ten minute drive from the bakery. He was more than a little hungry, and he wasn’t going to deny that Jess’ cooking was the best.

So was Jess herself, for that matter. Dean couldn’t be more happy for his little brother; glad that Sam had settled down, and had an amazing woman to share his life with. Sam and Dean’s parents had both passed away; their mother Mary when they were still very young, their father John about seven years ago. And so it pleased Dean that, after all this, Sammy had created this new home for himself and was building his own future.

Granted, every now and then Dean would feel a tiny pang of jealousy. Jealousy, because this was the kind of life that he’d imagine himself living at this point. Surely Dean’s life wasn’t all bad. He had a successful business, a great bond with his brother, a couple of awesome friends, and a lovely house… But he was often confronted with the fact that something was missing.

And he couldn’t tell _why_. He didn’t know why he seemed to be ‘doomed’, as Jo called it, in the relationship department. He had no clue why things hadn’t worked out with Anna, or with Bela. Or even Lisa, who had been caring, and kind, and truly good looking. She had looked to be the perfect match for Dean, yet their relationship had ended after only a few short months of dating, mostly because Dean’s heart hadn’t been completely in it, and after a while it had bothered them both.

He forcefully dragged himself away from those thoughts when Sam’s place came into sight. His younger brother’s house was nothing too huge or fancy, but it was nice and welcoming, the lawn always neatly mowed. It was starting to get dark outside, and a bright orange stream of light radiated from the small windows, promising warmth and comfort. Dean parked the Impala in Sam’s driveway, then made his way to the front door, meanwhile mentally punishing himself for forgetting to buy some flowers for Jess to thank her for inviting him over.

He rang the doorbell and Jess opened the door soon enough, smiling warmly at him. “Hey Dean, come on in, Sam will be pleasantly surprised that you remembered.” She joked.

Dean snorted. “Actually, he called me just now to remind me.” He stage whispered to Jess in a fake conspiratorially tone.

Jess had to laugh at that. “Figures.” She muttered under her breath, slowly shaking her head at Dean in a knowing manner, closing the door behind them.

~*~*~

About two hours later, Dean, Sam, and Jess were leaning back in their chairs at the dining table, satisfied after an impressive Italian meal. The three of them were laughing at a story that Jess had just told; she was a kindergarten teacher, which always resulted in hilarious stories about the silly things ‘her’ kids had come up with.

Sam shook his head. “I’m surprised you didn’t throw up after the kid ate that worm. I know I would have.”

Jess shrugged. “I suppose I’m immune to all things gross by now.”

“I don’t think I would ever get used to stuff like that, you deserve a freaking medal.” Dean said, shuddering at the thought of the kid eating the worm.

Jess laughed again at the surely horrified look on Dean’s face. “That’s not even the grossest thing I’ve seen during my time as a teacher.” She assured him as she got up to clear the table, amiably patting Dean on the shoulder.

“I really don’t wanna know.” Dean warned her, also getting up in order to help her.

Sam got up from his seat as well, eyeing his fiancée as she headed for the kitchen, her hands full of empty plates. “Do you have anything good for dessert?” He checked.

“Oh damn, I totally forgot about dessert.” Jess cursed as she ditched the plates in the sink.

Dean frowned thoughtfully as he placed the dirty dishes that he’d been carrying on the kitchen counter. “Hey, you know what? I think I have something for dessert. Nothing exciting, some kind of shady fortune cookies, but I need some volunteers to taste them.” He offered, suddenly remembering the deal that he’d made with the rather odd man named Crowley.

“Shady? _Volunteers_? You make it sound like an experiment… Do I even want to know?” Sam asked, lifting his eyebrows at Dean as he proceeded to help Jess with the dishes.

Dean laughed, casually leaning against the breakfast bar. “Some salesman was at the store today, asked if I would give them a try, possibly sell them at the shop. Humor me, Sammy.”

“I think we all could use some good fortune.” Jess said, smiling at Dean. “I’m a willing victim, let’s try your cookies, I’ll make some coffee to go with it.”

“Sure, I’ll go get them now.” Dean grinned at a funny-looking Sam as he headed out of the backdoor to get their improvised dessert.

~*~*~

_‘Sometimes, before one can win, one has to lose first…’_

Sam scowled at the words that were printed on the tiny piece of paper in his hands, reading them out loud. He wrinkled his nose. “As a beginning lawyer, the ‘losing’ part kinda worries me.” He said dryly as he dropped the paper in his lap, moving on to eating his cookie.

The three of them had moved to the living room, and they were enjoying their cookies and coffee while comfortably lounging on the cream colored couches.

Jess was sitting next to Sam, grinning at his comment as she picked up Sam’s quote. “But after the losing comes winning, it says.” She pointed out. “Let’s see what mine says.”

Dean watched with interest from his position on the smaller couch across from them, monitoring the reactions of his volunteers.

“These aren’t half bad.” Sam concluded once his mouth was empty and he was able to speak again.

“Great, I’ll make sure to count your vote when making my final decision.” Dean assured his brother with a wink.

Jess tugged a long strand of blonde curly hair behind her ear, then cracked her fortune cookie open and read the saying on the small note. _‘Soon you will find yourself going on a magnificent journey of a lifetime, that starts with the tiniest of steps…’_

“That might as well have been written in _Chinese_ , for all the sense it made to me.” Jess quirked an eyebrow as she dropped the note and ate her cookie.

“Whoa, hold on! Whenever you decide to go on that journey of yours, please do make sure to take me with you.” Sam said, pretending to be shocked.

Jess threw her head back as she laughed, resting her hand on Sam’s knee. “Relax, I won’t sneak off to start a new life in Hawaii while you’re sleeping, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

“It’s all a big load of nonsense anyway, if you ask me.” Sam commented with a shrug. “Open yours, dude.” He added, cocking his head at Dean who took this as a sign to start fumbling with his own fortune cookie.

He broke the cookie in two pieces as he heard Jess mention that they did in fact taste pretty good. Dean squinted as he read the text on the note. His quote was possibly the most confusing one so far.

_‘When two different worlds are separated, one sometimes needs the hand of a bigger force so one can find what one is missing…’_

Dean dismissively waved his hands and dropped the shred of paper on the table, where it landed beside his steaming mug of coffee.

“I give up on trying to make sense of any of this. Guess these things are made for a certain kind of audience, huh?” He muttered before popping the two chunks of cookie into his mouth.

“Who knows… Maybe soon we’ll find out what the quotes were about.” Jess aimed for a mysterious tone, grinning at Sam, then at Dean.

“Sure! Please send me a postcard from _Hawaii_.” Sam shot back, rolling his eyes.

“They do taste good, not gonna deny that.” Dean agreed with Jess and Sam after swallowing his fortune cookie. “I might actually start selling them at the store, their flavor is pretty unique. It could really add something to our assortment, if you look past the overdramatic bullshit quotes that are inside, that is…”

~*~*~

Dean stared at the deserted road ahead while driving home later that night. The cryptic notes from the fortune cookies were long forgotten; Dean Winchester was a rational person who did not believe in that sort of nonsense to begin with. Instead he was considering the financial benefits of a possible deal with Crowley, his mind strictly set on business. Perhaps he could even convince the salesman to talk to his superiors about producing a new version of the cookies, with the same taste but without the pointless quotes hidden inside…

He could barely finish that thought, for he was interrupted by a loud terrifying ‘BANG’ that was nearly resetting his heartbeat.

The impact of something unknown to Dean caused the Impala to swerve, and he frantically hit the brakes, bracing himself for whatever was to come. He instinctively closed his eyes, his heart skipping several more beats... The car came to a halt, and when Dean slowly opened his eyes, the first thing he did was take a couple of long, deep breaths.

“Son of a bitch… What the hell what that?” He cursed to himself, still a little breathless.

He quickly glanced around, but didn’t see anything out of the ordinary. His windshield was intact, and the hood of the Impala was unscratched. Still, that had been one hell of a blow…

Curiosity got the best of Dean, and he cautiously opened the door of the Impala, slowly getting out of the car.  The first thing he noticed was a large dent, which was situated on the middle of the roof. He gasped in horror; He was more than a little protective when it came to his car. Not to mention, this was beyond strange… It looked as if the car had been hit by something that had fallen straight from _the_ _sky_.

“What the…” But before he could get out that sentence, he was interrupted by the sound of a raspy intake of breath.

It wasn’t until now that Dean’s gaze wandered to _behind_ the car, and he nearly jumped in surprise when he noticed the silhouette of a man, lying curled up on the asphalt, his face twisted in pain. Dean took another deep breath of his own, trying not to panic as he walked around the car, kneeling down next to the man who looked to be about Dean’s age.

“Shit, I’m so sorry…” Dean rambled an apology. “I never saw you coming, where did you even come from? Oh shit…”

“My apologies…” The man rasped out as he struggled to try and sit up.

As the stranger looked up at Dean and suddenly spoke, the first thing catching Dean’s attention was how deep and gravelly that unfamiliar voice was. What caught Dean’s eye at the same time, were the unnatural blue eyes that seemed to be staring straight into his very soul. It gave him a queasy feeling in the pit of his stomach. Then there was disheveled dark hair, standing up in all directions. The guy’s outfit consisted of nothing but a large piece of white fabric that was wrapped around his body in no particular form.

It only now occurred to Dean what the stranger had said… The dark-haired man was _apologizing,_ for crying out loud. That was the last reply that Dean would’ve expected.

“ _You_ are apologizing? _I_ was the one hitting you with my car, man! Even though I’m still not sure how that happened… I mean you were _nowhere_ , and then suddenly you were _here…_ ” He was babbling now, about to help out the stranger who was still attempting to get up. But as he placed a comforting hand on the man’s shoulder, Dean saw something from the corner of his eye that made him let out a surprised scream. A scream, because it was only now that he noticed something that had escaped his attention before, probably due to the shock as well as the darkness that was surrounding them.

“Shit, dude! What are _those_?!” Dean exclaimed, stumbling backwards and falling flat on his ass out of pure bewilderment, his eyes glued to the guy’s back.

The man had been on his back, lying on the grey asphalt and facing the sky. The black objects that were attached to his back hadn’t really captured Dean’s attention until the mystery guy had gotten up into a sitting position.

The blue-eyed stranger shot him a look that clearly said ‘as if it isn’t obvious’, but he answered anyway. “Wings.” He answered curtly in that low voice.

If Dean had been freaking out before, he was now on the verge of having a downright panic-attack. He closed his eyes for a couple of seconds before opening them again, chanting at himself to calm down. _‘Be rational, Dean. It’s all just a joke. This guy is trying to prank you. Of course those wings are fake. Get it together, Winchester.’_

Dean’s mental pep talk provided him with the courage to look at the man again. The guy hadn’t said anything, he was just wordlessly staring back at Dean, as if he was trying to figure Dean out by peering into his very core with those large blue eyes.

“Alright, joke’s over, buddy. And by the way, it’s way too early for Halloween costumes.” Dean said, nodding at the ‘wings’. “So why don’t you work with me here, give me your name, an address maybe, and I’ll give you a ride home. Or to a hospital. Whatever you need.”

He may or may not have added ‘ _or to an asylum_ ’ in his head.

The ruffled-looking man was still gazing at him, and it was about to make Dean extremely uncomfortable, but then the guy decided to open his mouth. “Castiel.” Was all he quietly said.

Dean frowned. “Excuse me, what was that?”

“My name is Castiel.” His tone was firmer now.

“Okay… _Castiel_.” Dean repeated the name mechanically. “Is there a last name that goes with that? Where are you from, Castiel?” He asked, reluctantly accepting the fact that he was probably going to have to _drag_ every piece of information out of this guy.

Castiel’s bright blue eyes slowly looked up at the sky. “ _Heaven_.” He almost whispered. “I’m an angel of the lord.”

Dean groaned, getting annoyed because the guy was still not dropping the act. “Great, alright then, asylum it is.”

Since Dean had gotten over his shock now, he got up to his feet, holding his hand out to the nutcase still sitting on the cold, hard ground. “Come on, get up, we can’t stay here in the middle of the road. Can you stand?” He asked briskly.

Castiel took Dean’s hand without hesitation and nodded, also getting up to his feet, already looking better than he did mere minutes ago. Dean’s eyes quickly scanned the man’s body, but he couldn’t detect any serious injuries or signs of blood, which seemed a miracle when considering the dent that he had created in the roof of the Impala.

“Fantastic.” Dean made sure that there was an impressive amount of sarcasm in his tone as he uttered that one word. “Now let’s get off these stupid things, or you won’t even fit into the car.”

He pressed against Castiel’s shoulder to try and make him turn around, set on finding out how he had managed to secure those huge, solid wings to his body in such a natural way. However, when Dean rested his palm on top of the left wing, he choked out another gasp. Because that wing was freaking _twitching_ under his touch. The ink black feathers felt silky, and even more creepy; they felt relatively _warm_. Body temperature. Dean flinched, jerking back his hand as if he’d burned it.

“Okay, this is a dream. A really freaky nightmare. Wake up now, Dean. Come on, this is all just your imagination. You were drinking again, probably…”

Dean hadn’t even realized that he’d said all of that out loud, until Castiel turned around to face him again, blue eyes slowly blinking at the panicking Winchester.

“Your name is Dean.” Castiel’s voice was calm and steady. “I like that name. It’s nice to meet you, Dean.”

All Dean could do was stare slack jawed at the stranger who claimed to be an angel. An _angel_. This was all too much.

“God, I think I’m gonna pass out.” Dean muttered, rubbing his face with both his hands.

“You don’t believe me.” Castiel was merely stating, not in the least sounding offended.

The laugh that fell from Dean’s lips sounded slightly hysterical, even to himself. “Yeah well, those feathery things that are attached to your freaking back are making it pretty hard for a person to _not_ believe.”

Castiel tilted his head, examining Dean as if he were looking at a very interesting painting. “So you do believe? That I’m an angel, I mean.”

Dean sighed in defeat, leaning against the side of the Impala as his breathing evened out again. “You know what, let’s say for argument’s sake that I do… Then what the hell are you doing _here_? This isn’t exactly Heaven!”

For the first time, _Castiel_ was the one caught off guard, a confused look crossing his previously smooth face as if he suddenly was reminded of something vitally important. “I… I have no idea.”

“You have no idea? Well can’t you fly back up there and ask, or something?” Dean shrugged away from the car, wildly waving one hand in the general direction of the endless sky above them.

Castiel chewed his lip. “I don’t think I can.” He admitted after a short silence.

“You can’t, or you _won’t_?” Dean demanded.

“I can’t. For some reason I lack the power to properly use my wings.” Castiel answered, this time without taking any time to think. “When angels visit earth, it’s with God’s blessing, and with a purpose, after being prepared for a task… But I don’t recall anyone sending me down here.”

The angel fell silent, forehead creased as he seemed to be gathering his thoughts.

“And you know nothing about some job you gotta do down here? A reason you’re here?” Dean pressed when Castiel remained quiet.

“No…” Castiel’s tone held some genuine distress at this point. “It’s almost as if I’ve… _fallen_. I feel less powerful than I did up there, the presence of my grace seems weaker. My memories are incomplete, almost as if fading… If I didn’t know better I would say that this happened by mistake or accident.”

“So what you’re saying is, you have no way of getting back?”

The angel’s pale pink lips formed a tight line as those words were slowly sinking in. He didn’t respond to Dean’s question, instead closing his eyes. For a long moment he appeared to be deeply concentrating on something.

When Dean got impatient he tried to get Castiel’s attention. “Hey, I asked you something.”

Castiel’s eyes flew open, and he frowned again. “I attempted to reach out to my siblings, let them know where I am, but my grace it too weak.”

“Bottom line: you’re stuck here?” Dean asked a second time.

“So it would seem.” The angel confirmed, not sounding too excited about that.

Dean groaned in frustration, and Castiel did that typical head tip thing again, staring at Dean with that blue gaze as if Dean was a puzzle that needed to be solved. For some irrational reason Dean found himself gazing right back, green eyes meeting blue. For the second time that night, Dean felt that odd tingle in his stomach. He couldn’t tell for sure if it was a good or a bad feeling. It had to have something to do with those eyes. They were so absurdly _blue_. A million thoughts were running around in Dean Winchester’s head, and so he wasn’t even sure what caused him to make the decision he made next.

“Come on then, let’s go.” He said gruffly, looking away to free himself from the angel’s hypnotic stare and walking over to the passenger side of the car. “Get in the car.”

Castiel suspiciously glanced at Dean, his expression uncertain, maybe even a bit scared. “Where are you taking me?”

Dean rolled his eyes. “My place. Seeing as I can’t exactly ditch you anywhere else without you ending up being someone’s special science project.”

The angel’s grimace gradually turned into a smile, his eyes lighting up. “That is very kind of you, Dean.”

“Yeah yeah. Don’t thank me yet, if you cause any trouble I might change my mind.” Dean grumbled as he cocked his head to the side, hinting for Castiel to get into the car.

Castiel’s grin didn’t waver at the halfhearted threat, a hint of relief in his big blue eyes. “I promise I won’t cause you any inconvenience.”

“You’d better not.”

Despite the blunt reply, Dean failed to stop himself from returning Castiel’s smile. He had no clue why he even did that. It definitely were those goddamned blue eyes…


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for all the lovely comments and kudos. :) I love you all as much as Cas loves Dean. And that's an awful lot, just saying.

Shoving an angel with wings that were about the same length as his body into a Chevy Impala, was challenging to say the least. There were a lot of problems that Dean Winchester had expected to come across at some point in his life, but this certainly hadn’t been one of them. They did succeed after a while, and lucky for the both of them, the drive home took less than ten minutes.

Dean parked the car as close to his garage as he could get, turning off the engine. He swiftly got out and ran around the front to open the door of the passenger side. He warily glanced around, but there was not another living soul to be seen; it was past midnight, which meant that most people in this quiet neighborhood were already fast asleep. Thank god for small miracles, because Dean didn’t at all feel like explaining to his neighbors why he was sneaking an angel into his house in the middle of the night.

“Alright, let’s get you inside.” Dean’s voice was hushed as he tried to help Castiel out of the car.

“Dean, I think one of my wings is…”

“Shhh, keep quiet.” He warned the angel. “If someone sees you, we’re screwed.”

Castiel abruptly shut his mouth, and Dean once again tried to pull him out of the Impala.

“Stupid, crappy wings.” Dean cursed in a whisper.

Dean pulled and pulled, but the angel was no longer really cooperating. Instead he seemed to be in some kind of trance, as if focusing on something entirely different than getting out of Dean’s car. At the exact moment that Dean gave Castiel’s arm another hard tug, the angel’s wings disappeared all of the sudden, which resulted in the both of them falling out of the car, in the process knocking over the empty trashcan that had been standing in the driveway.  

“What the hell?! What did you just… _How?_ ” Dean asked breathlessly, gawking at the now wingless angel.

Castiel shrugged. “It appears that I can hide my wings. I had no idea, Dean. I wasn’t prepared to visit earth… I suppose I will have to figure out on my own what I’m able and unable to do with my grace while staying here."

That raised about a million new questions, but before Dean could ask even one of them, the two men were interrupted.

“Dean?! Is that you?” The voice of Dean’s neighbor, Charlie Bradbury, called out into the night.

Dean gasped, resting a hand on Castiel’s shoulder, holding the angel down behind the Impala while he himself got up to his feet. His eyes flickered to the house to his left, where light was coming from one of the rooms on the second floor. Charlie’s head was poking out of the window, her vibrant red hair a big mess.

“Yeah, it’s me.” Dean dryly called back to reassure his friend. “Sorry to wake you.”

Charlie snorted. “That’s fine, just thought I’d check, it sounded like someone was dancing the tango with an elephant.”

“Poetic. At least now I know what I sound like when tripping over a garbage can.” Dean chuckled nervously, deciding not to add the ‘while dragging along an angel’ part. “Nothing to see here though, go back to sleep, I’ll talk to you in the morning.”

“Okie dokie. Goodnight, weirdo.” She said affectionately, grinning before closing her window with a smack.

Dean released a long breath that he hadn’t realized he’d been holding in. “That was close. Come on, let’s get you inside.” He said as he helped Castiel up, guessing that Castiel’s bare feet were freezing by now.

“Your neighbor seems _nice_.” The angel remarked after Dean had dragged him into the house.

A flustered Dean safely locked the door behind the two of them. “She is.” He confirmed, gently pressing a hand against Castiel’s upper arm, leading him towards the living room. “Why don’t you sit down for a minute.” He suggested, patting the black leather couch.

The angel nodded absently while following Dean’s instructions, seeing as he was very busy taking in his new surroundings. He carefully sat down on the couch, observing the room while doing so. “Your home is rather large. Do you live here all alone?” He asked, tilting his head to the side as he looked up at Dean.

Dean ran a hand through his hair, not particularly fond of the subject that Castiel had just broached. “Yeah, I do.”

Castiel seemed to pick up on Dean’s discomfort, and he aimed for a smile when he spoke again. “Nevertheless, your house looks like a pleasant place to live.”

As far as Dean could tell, the angel had limited skills when it came to social human interactions, so coming from Castiel, this had been a genuine compliment.

“Well uhm, thanks.” Dean replied, annoyed with himself when he noted that he almost sounded shy. He paused for a few seconds before sitting down on the couch next to the angel and changing the topic of conversation. “So, how are you feeling? Are you hurt? Because that was a pretty serious fall you made.”

Castiel shook his head. “I’m not hurt, Dean. Apparently, I still have enough grace left to heal myself.”

“Okay, that’s good.” Surely Dean was relieved; taking an angel to a hospital would’ve been all kinds of awkward. “And your wings… Does it hurt? Hiding them?” He asked, curious now.

“It does feel a bit unpleasant.” Castiel admitted in that gravelly voice. “But no, it doesn’t truly hurt.”

“Oh…” Dean mumbled. “But if it feels uncomfortable then why don’t you just… Ya know, pop them out? Or whatever it is angels do.”

The angel was furiously blushing at Dean’s suggestion. “Because you seem to find them displeasing. You called them ‘ _stupid_ ’, and I don’t want to take up more space than strictly necessary.”

“What?” Dean blurted out upon realizing that he’d given the angel the wrong impression. “No! That’s not what I meant, they just got… In the way. In the car…” He was falling over his words now. “I don’t mind them, they’re just a bit unpractical...”

Dean Winchester should’ve been concerned about the fact that he was practically apologizing to a stranger in his own home, after he’d picked said stranger up on the middle of the road, offered him a place to stay, and helped him hide from the big bad world outside. But he wasn’t bothered by it in the slightest, and he couldn’t quite figure out why that was...

Castiel didn’t give in though. “I’ll keep them hidden for now.” Was all he quietly replied.

~*~*~

“Would you mind explaining to me again why it is expected of me to perform this ritual?” The angel’s wide blue eyes were staring Dean down, his jaw set.

Dean was fighting to hold back his laughter as he pushed a disgruntled looking Castiel into the bathroom. “It’s a common thing for humans to take showers, Cas. Otherwise we’d smell pretty awful after a few days. Besides, you’re covered in dirt.”

Castiel’s face lit up, his eyes suddenly shining. Dean lifted an eyebrow in surprise, daring the angel to tell him what had caused his mood to shift from irritable to pleased within a matter of seconds.

“What’s that smile?” Dean pried.

“You called me Cas.” The angel answered matter-of-factly.

Dean shrugged. “It’s shorter than Castiel… But you know, if you don’t like it, we can just forget about it.”

“You can call me Cas… I like it. The way you say it makes it sound as if you’re _fond_ of me.” Castiel said, straight to the point.

The way Cas’ blue eyes were staring into Dean’s at this declaration, made Dean’s breathing hitch.

“Yeah, okay… No chick flick moments, dude. Go on, just take the shower and get changed.” Dean instructed after clearing his throat. He turned on the water of the shower, making sure it had a reasonable temperature, then pointed at the bundle of fabric that he’d left on the small table near the sink.

“There’s a towel, and some of my clothes.” Dean explained. “Put them on after you’ve showered. Oh, and use this for your hair.” He said as he handed Castiel a bottle of shampoo.

Cas took the bottle from his hand, smiling at Dean again. “Alright Dean, thank you.”

The words had barely left Cas’ mouth or he was already stepping into the shower, but Dean grabbed his arm, stopping him. “You’ll have to take your clothes off first.” He hinted tiredly.

“Oh, of course.” Was the reply Dean got as Castiel started stripping, with Dean still _in_ the room.

“ _No!_ ” Dean yelled a little too loudly. “Jesus, Cas! You don’t randomly take off your clothes in front of other people! You wait until I’ve left the room, _then_ you take them off.”

Dean hurried out of the bathroom, closing the door firmly behind him, not waiting on a response from the angel. He sighed, his back resting against the door, pinching the bridge of his nose with his fingers. Teaching an angel how to be human was going to be one hell of a task. No pun intended.

~*~*~

Dean was dozing off on the couch. He’d been watching a Doctor Sexy MD rerun while waiting for Castiel to finish his shower, but he was too tired to actually stay awake until the end of the episode. He was lying on his side, facing the television, head leaning against the armrest at a weird angle. He wasn’t fully asleep yet; he was in that woozy state between snoozing and truly slumbering. That was until the feeling of someone watching him startled him awake with a small shock.

His eyes flew open, and he looked right into radiant blue ones.

“Hello, Dean.”

Dean swallowed heavily when he became aware that Castiel was sitting on the floor next to him, cross-legged, his chin resting on the edge of the couch, his eyes level with Dean’s. Their faces were mere inches apart. Mildly bewildered, Dean crawled into a sitting position, staring down at the angel who was still gazing up at him with those innocent eyes.

“I didn’t mean to scare you.” He offered as an apology. “Just wanted to inform you that I successfully performed the shower ritual.”

Dean’s eyes followed Castiel as the angel got up from the floor, probably planning to join Dean on the couch. He was wearing some of Dean’s clothes; sweatpants and an old faded t-shirt. The sweatpants were too large for Cas, since his frame was a bit smaller than Dean’s, and so they were hanging dangerously low on his hips. Not that Dean cared, of course. Not like his eyes were unsubtly gliding from the angel’s face down to the small sliver of skin that was exposed when he stretched a little, causing the shirt to ride up. Dean was strictly into females anyway, so none of this mattered.

Okay, so maybe there had been a few experiments, back when he was younger… Or that one time when he was drunk… No dammit, he had to stop this, this was all bullshit.

“T-That’s great, Cas. So… Do you want me to show you to the guest room? Let you get some sleep?” Dean muttered, making sure that his eyes were back on Castiel’s face when he replied.

To his surprise the angel shook his head, his hair even more messy after the shower because he clearly hadn’t done anything to fix it. “Angels don’t need to sleep. I have never slept in my existence.”

“Aha… No sleep.” Dean repeated slowly as he processed this. “Awesome… Well, I do need my four hours, buddy.”

Cas smiled serenely, gracefully sitting down on the couch next to Dean. “That’s fine. I’ll watch over you.”

Dean’s mouth fell open at that offer, but he soon collected himself. “Yeah, that’s not gonna happen. How about I show you how the TV works, maybe find you some books... You’ll be able to entertain yourself for a few hours, right?”

The angel nodded, not arguing at all when Dean rejected his idea. “Of course. Whatever you want, Dean.”

By now, Dean had gathered that Cas was holding back all the time, simply trying to be accommodating because he didn’t want to be a burden. He wasn’t sure whether that bothered him or not.

Dean sighed as he got up from the couch, scratching the back of his neck. “Look, just do whatever you want, alright? Make yourself at home while you’re here… I mean it.”

He was rewarded by a blinding smile from Cas, who tentatively looked up at him, nodding to let him know that the message had come through.

“Good, glad that’s out of the way.” Dean said, his cheeks flushing under the angel’s ever intense stare. “So, do angels eat? Are you feeling hungry?”

Castiel seemed to need a second to consider that question. “Angels don’t usually eat.” He mused after a short silence. “But I do have this foreign, annoying sensation in my stomach right now.”

Dean chuckled. “Guess the rules changed when you crashed down to earth, huh? I could make you a sandwich before I go to sleep?”

“I think my stomach would appreciate that.” Cas admitted. “Is it alright if I watch you?”

Dean shot the angel a befuddled glance, not sure what to make of that proposal.

“Watch you prepare the food… So that I’ll be able to do it myself the next time my stomach starts protesting.” Castiel quickly clarified.

Dean huffed out a relieved laugh. “Oh right, like that. Sure, Cas.”

He may or may not have used that nickname again because Castiel seemed to enjoy it.

The next hour, Dean spent teaching Castiel some of the basics of being a human. He showed him how to make a sandwich, and explained to the angel that he would also need to drink something every once in a while. After they’d finished making the simple ham and cheese sandwich, and Dean had poured Cas a glass of milk to go with it, they sat back down on the couch to watch some TV.

Cas silently ate his food while Dean tried to teach him the art of using a remote control. The angel seemed to get more comfortable at his new temporary home, and Dean, to his own pleasant surprise, found that he didn’t really mind him being there.

And so there was some eating, some flicking through channels, and later on, there was some sleeping…

At some point Dean realized that he was still brainlessly staring at the screen of his TV, even though it must’ve been the middle of the night already. It seemed that he had dozed off for a bit, and his wakeup call had been an unexpected bright flash of light caused by a commercial, which had violently snapped him out of his trancelike state. Dean wanted to sit up, but that simple action was blocked by the unfamiliar weight against his shoulder… When he glanced to his right, he was confronted with the sight of an angel who was quietly snoring. Cas’ legs were curled up on the couch, his head resting against Dean’s side. _So much for angels not needing any sleep_ , Dean thought to himself. Like with the food, different rules seemed to apply to _fallen_ angels.  

It goes without saying that Dean’s first instinct was to shove Castiel away and act mortified, but something was stopping him from acting on that instinct. Perhaps that something was the fluffy hair that was softly brushing against the sensitive skin of Dean’s neck every time Cas breathed in or out. Or maybe it was the sheer innocence that the angel was radiating now that his face was completely relaxed. Or maybe, just maybe… It was the fact that Dean Winchester had been spending too many evenings on this couch all alone, and now suddenly there was the comfort of another presence. A presence that, as a bonus, was pretty adorable. Not that he would ever own up to even entertaining that thought.

The angel with the ebony hair who was snuggling against Dean’s side mumbled something, then shifted in his sleep, getting into a position where his face was literally pressed into Dean’s shirt. Dean should’ve been disgusted when Castiel started drooling on his sleeve... Should have, but wasn’t. Again the angel spilled some words, but this time the mumbling came along with a soft, fluttering sound.

Dean skipped a breath as he witnessed how the angel’s wings appeared out of nowhere. Cas’ weird angel mojo seemed to guarantee that Cas was able to do so without ripping his borrowed shirt apart. The wings suddenly making an appearance had to be a side effect of Castiel feeling safe or at ease; enough at ease to show his true self, all of it. Needless to say, the huge, glossy black wings were another thing that should’ve freaked Dean out immensely. But again, the keywords here were ‘should have’. Truth be told, Dean was rather _fascinated_ by them. When looking closer, their color wasn’t plain black. Occasionally there would be a flash of light from the television that highlighted the silky feathers, revealing various shades of blue, purple and green. Cas’ wings were simply stunning.

Dean groaned softly, wishing away that thought as he helplessly looked down at the angel. Without wanting to do so, he heavily rested his chin on the top of Castiel’s head for a long moment, closing his eyes, contemplating how the hell he had ended up in a completely bizarre situation such as this one. Wondering if this was even _real_ to begin with, rather than just one long, very realistic dream.

Castiel’s sleeping form was steadily falling and rising. The soft strands of hair that were tickling Dean’s jaw smelled sweet; the familiar smell of the shampoo that Cas had borrowed from him. Dean was fighting the urge to move his arms and reach out to touch those alluring wings. Or maybe gently smooth down that messy hair… Instead he was stiffly holding both arms against his sides, hands balled into fists.

All the while, a voice in the back of  his head was relentlessly yelling at him how wrong this was. Because no, it was not okay to be this captivated by this creature that wasn’t even human. Or to feel this _attracted_ to aforementioned creature, especially since this angel also happened to be _a guy_. Not to mention; Dean had only met this guy five short hours ago. None of this was okay.

This had to end right this instant. Dean struggled to get out of his position crushed between the angel and the couch, the rational part of his brain finally winning, giving him the strength to leave his new ‘friend’ and go to his own bedroom to get a few normal hours of sleep. Or that had been the plan... Instead, Dean spent more than a few hours restlessly tossing and turning in his king-sized bed. Sleep avoided him for a long time, and it wasn’t until the sun was almost about to rise that he finally passed out.

~*~*~

‘ _Very disorientated’_ was the term to best describe how Dean felt when waking up the next morning. He was experiencing that peculiar state of ‘did last night actually happen or was it all in my head’. He grunted as he rolled onto his side to check the alarm clock on the night stand. Almost ten in the morning. Thank god it was a Saturday.

Saturdays meant that Dean had the day off. He and Jo had made an arrangement when they’d started the bakery together; Seeing as the store was only closed on Sundays, Dean would get to stay home on Saturdays, and in return, Jo would get to stay home on Mondays. This way they would both have a decent amount of free time, and Dean was especially thankful that he was off the hook today.

While slowly sitting up, his mind tried to reconstruct everything that had happened yesterday. It couldn’t possibly be real… He tried to think back to the time when everything had still been normal. That was back at his brother’s house. Back when he, Sam and Jess had tested the fortune cookies together. After they’d finished their coffee, he had gone home, and that was when his world had turned upside down. _Wait…_ Who was to say those weird ass cookies hadn’t been _drugged_? That Crowley guy had looked kind of shady, on second thought. And the way he had rushed out of the store after making the deal, without leaving any contact info…

Dean shook his head and rubbed his face, attempting to clear his mind. Drugged cookies, well what do you know. That was just his luck, wasn’t it? Kudos to his imagination though, he had managed to hallucinate a freaking _angel_. And a very gorgeous angel at that. Those surreal blue eyes were something he still vividly remembered. He didn’t give a shit that he had just labeled the figment of his imagination as ‘gorgeous’, even if it was a guy, because none of it had been real anyway. Maybe he should call Sam later today, to check if he and Jess had faced any similar problems.

Then all of the sudden Dean’s stomach dropped as it hit him like a ton of bricks; this mind-blowing creature he’d grown so fond of within such a short stretch of time… It had merely been a stupid _fantasy_. He was _gone_. Even worse, the angel had never been there in the first place. Dean was going to punch this Crowley guy in the face. Assuming that the salesman would have the guts to ever set foot in the bakery again...

He sighed as he got up, reluctantly heading for the bathroom. He took his time in the shower, and when he was done he got dressed, going through his morning routine on autopilot. Still deep in thought, he wandered downstairs. He passed the living room on his way to the kitchen where he planned to make himself a cup of much needed coffee, when a deep voice made him freeze on the spot.

“Good morning, Dean.”

His heart stopped for a second, and his head whipped around so quickly that it nearly made him dizzy. Two big blue eyes were closely observing him. They belonged to the attractive dark haired man who was sitting on his couch. The wings were nowhere to be seen; the angel probably chose not to manifest them at this moment. The hushed sound of the TV in the background was the only thing breaking the silence. Dean let out a shaky breath, his lower lip trembling.

“I apologize, I didn’t mean to startle you.” Castiel blinked slowly, a worried frown creasing his forehead.

“No! It’s fine… Cas. You didn’t startle me. At all. I was just a bit… _surprised_.” Dean stuttered. “Good morning.” He added in a more stable voice.

Dean’s thoughts were all over the place. He had no clue whether to feel frightened because all of this insanity was real, or to feel _relieved_ because Castiel was actually still here with him. Relieved, because the remarkable angel was not just a vivid hallucination. Relieved that he actually _existed._

“I’m gonna… Make some coffee. I need coffee. Coffee is good.” Dean babbled.

His eyes were still trapped by Castiel’s. The angel smiled at him. “Why don’t you sit down, Dean. I think I can provide you with some coffee.”

Dean stared at the angel in bemusement, but he did comply, hesitantly making his way to the couch and sitting down with Castiel.

“You can? You know how to make coffee?” Dean asked skeptically.

Cas smiled mischievously. He closed his eyes in concentration, holding up his hands in front of him. Out of the blue, he was suddenly holding a mug of steaming hot coffee between his long, slender fingers.

Dean could feel his own jaw drop. “Alright… Whoa. You can do tricks… That was a really awesome trick too.”

Castiel grinned proudly, handing over the coffee.

After Dean had taken a sip, he complimented the angel with a warm smile. “This is pretty good actually, I guess you’re a natural.”

Cas lowered his chin, and Dean noticed how his high cheekbones were covered in a scarlet blush. “I have a confession to make... I can’t make coffee, I _teleported_ it. Your neighbor across the street just made it. I’m no longer able to teleport myself to a different location, but it seems I can still teleport small objects when they’re in range. I just wanted to try…”

At that revelation, Dean spat out some of the hot liquid. He snorted, cocking an eyebrow at Castiel in disbelief.

“Are you angry with me?” Cas asked, cautiously peeking up at Dean from under his eyelashes, face still flustered.

Before Dean could stop himself, he laughed out loud, one of his hands reaching out to briefly ruffle the angel’s already tousled hair. They needed to have a serious talk about taking stuff without paying or asking for it, but it could wait for a bit.

“No, I’m not angry, Cas. Right now I don’t really care where that coffee came from, I’m just glad it’s _here_.” Dean smiled at Castiel as he confessed this, trying to ignore the double meaning behind his own words.

Castiel didn’t hesitate to brightly beam back at him, and that was the moment that Dean Winchester decided that he was in fact relieved that Castiel, angel of the lord, was _real_.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for being awesome! Sending all of you virtual chocolate chip cookies. ;)

“What do you think, Dean? Is this acceptable?” Cas asked as he shuffled into the kitchen, sounding hopeful.

Dean was sitting at the kitchen table, browsing through the newspaper while chewing on some homemade waffles. He had instructed the angel to change into some normal clothes, seeing as doing groceries while wearing pajamas would draw attention to them. Considering that Dean would have to feed two people now, an errand run was inevitable. He was also planning to take Castiel to the mall for a quick shopping spree. After all, there was no way of knowing how long the angel would be stuck here on earth; he was at least going to need a basic wardrobe and a few toiletries.

For today, Dean had let Cas borrow some of his own clothes, and when he glanced up from the paper, he saw the angel shyly looking down at him from where he was standing in the doorway, waiting for Dean’s approval. Despite Dean’s clothes being a size too big for Castiel, the result was not bad at all. He was wearing a pair of jeans with a simple blue button up shirt. The shirt in question complimented the angel’s already mesmerizing eyes. Of course Dean hadn’t thought about that when picking out this particular shirt for Cas to wear. Nope, not at all. That would be weird. And gay. Extremely gay. This was a fortunate _coincidence_ , nothing more.  

Cas shifted his weight, running a hand through his hair, feeling unsure due to Dean’s delayed response. The simple motion caused the low jeans and the fairly short shirt to conspire against Dean, showing off Castiel’s hips. And damn if this guy didn’t have sinful hipbones.

Dean cleared his throat, getting up from his chair and nodding. “I think this will do for now, Cas.”

The smile he got in reply practically lit up the room, making Dean’s mouth go dry.

He shook his head, trying to snap out of it. What the hell was this guy doing to his brain? For sure it had to do something with those freaky angel powers. No male had ever had this kind of effect on Dean, and so the only logical theory was that it was a _supernatural_ thing. An _angel_ thing.

“Okay, great… So, I made you some waffles, why don’t you eat something? You must be hungry, right?” Dean chattered as he turned away from Cas, not waiting for an answer and already walking over to the sink where he’d left a second batch of freshly baked waffles for his guest.

“As a matter of fact, I’m starving.” Cas confessed.

That was Dean’s cue, and he gathered the waffles and a fork. Unfortunately, Castiel wasn’t in a very patient mood, for when Dean turned around again, he saw that the angel had already taken place on the very chair where Dean had been sitting less than a minute ago. On top of that, he was eating the rest of Dean’s waffles, an appreciative look on his too innocent face as he chewed.

Any _normal_ person would’ve been annoyed as hell when another person rudely stole their seat and food, but for some reason, all Dean could do was produce a laugh that he tried to hide by turning it into a cough.

“Yeah, or you can just… _eat mine_.”

~*~*~

If Dean Winchester had to go on a shopping trip while dragging along a clueless angel, he decided it was best to get it over with. After breakfast they headed out, but as Dean opened the front door, Castiel right behind him, he was standing face to face with a smiling redhead. She was holding her hand up in midair, an indicator that she was just about to knock on her neighbor’s door.

“Oh, well that was _fast_.” Charlie joked, grinning at Dean.

Dean playfully rolled his eyes at his friend. “I’m psychic, don’t tell a soul.”

“Wouldn’t think of it.” She assured him. “Wait, whoa! What do we have _here_?”

Charlie whistled through her teeth, ogling Castiel as she noticed him for the first time. The angel took a small step forward, offering the chipper girl a small smile.

“This is ehm, my…” Dean started, but paused when he realized that he hadn’t yet made up a proper story to explain how he was related to Castiel.

Dean’s thoughts were working overtime. Oh no. His what? His angel? Hell no. His friend? No, that would be weird, Charlie knew all of his friends. How it sucked to live in a small town where everyone knew everyone... _Oh god, come on idiot, you can come up with something good…_

“He’s my cousin!” Were the words that Dean blurted out desperately. “From Europe. He got here this morning.” He added when a confused looking Charlie glanced from Castiel back to Dean.

Dean turned his head to share a look with Cas, trying to communicate without words, and Castiel seemed to catch on a lot faster than Dean could’ve hoped for.

“That’s right... From Europe. My name is Castiel, it’s nice to meet you.” He held out his hand to Charlie; apparently several hours of watching TV had learned him that this was a common human gesture when meeting new people.

“Cas-ti-el. Pretty cool name. Weird, but cool.” Charlie replied in her usual blunt manner as she took Cas’ hand and shook it. “I’m Charlie. Bradbury.”

Cas nodded. “Yes, Dean’s neighbor. He told me about you.” He said pleasantly, now letting go of the girl’s hand.

Charlie’s grin stayed in place as she winked at Dean. “Castiel is lucky I go for the ladies, because _hot damn_.” Her eyes traveled up and down the angel’s body as she said this.

“Yeah yeah.” Dean grumbled in a dismissive tone, witnessing how Castiel’s cheeks turned the shade of the average tomato. “Was there anything you needed, Charlie? We were actually just heading out.”

“Oh, right.” She said, recalling that she had a reason for dropping by. “Could you give me a ride to Jo’s BBQ party tomorrow? Pretty please? Because I’m your friend and you love me? I dropped my car off at the garage this morning, stupid piece of junk bailed on me. Again.”

“Ehm, oh, the _party._ Yeah, sure. No problem at all.” Dean muttered, quickly plastering a smile on his face.

The thing wasn’t that he had a problem with giving his friend a ride, it was the fact that he had completely forgotten about Jo’s silly party. As much as Dean always denied it, his brother Sammy had a legitimate reason for frequently accusing him of forgetting about social gatherings that he was supposed to attend.

“You forgot.” Charlie guessed, chuckling. “Don’t let Jo hear it, she said that it was important for all of us to be there because she has an announcement to make.”

“I know, I didn’t forget, okay! It just temporarily slipped my mind.” Was Dean’s feeble defense. He glared at Charlie, who remained unimpressed.  

“Sure sure. See you tomorrow around seven then. By the way, are you bringing hot stuff?” She asked, unsubtly cocking an eyebrow at Cas, who was looking mildly horrified at all the attention.

“The guy has _a name_.” Dean muttered irritably. “And I don’t know, depends on whether or not he wants to go. We’ll see about that tomorrow.”

Charlie held up both hands, feigning defense. “Alright, fine. I’ll leave now, so you boys can hit the town. Be careful though, if you’re gonna take Castiel out looking like _this_ , there are gonna be loads of people trying to jump his bones.”

Before Dean could chastise her, she laughed, turned around, and darted back to the safety of her own house.

Castiel gave Dean a pensive stare as they stepped outside. “Was she, how did that girl on TV call it… Was she ‘ _hitting on me’_?”

Dean snorted loudly, shaking his head as he locked the door behind them. “No, Cas. You heard her, Charlie prefers the _ladies_.”

“Oh, I could swear she was using terms that hinted at her finding me attractive.” He said, oblivious.

Again Dean laughed, clasping Cas’ shoulder. “She wasn’t coming on to you, buddy. She was just saying that you look appealing to mankind in general.”

Castiel raised his eyebrows as they descended the porch steps, never breaking eye contact with Dean. “I see… _Do I_? Look attractive to other humans, I mean.”

Dean felt his cheeks heat up as he thought about an appropriate answer to that question. “Ehm… I guess that most chicks would think that you’re attractive, yeah.”

Thoughts were clearly tumbling through Cas’ head as they reached the Impala. “So I’m only attractive to females, not males?”

This conversation was going  someplace that was way out of Dean’s comfort zone, but Cas seemed unaware of that, so Dean was at a loss what to say.

“Look, I bet you’re attractive to some guys too, okay? Short version; For a human, you look pretty damn decent. But two dudes who are friends don’t tell each other that they find the other attractive, that’s just weird.” He eventually muttered.

“Oh…” Cas said, dumbfounded.

“That’s right, ‘oh’.” Dean mocked, rolling his eyes as he opened the door of the car. His eyes strayed to the roof. Damn, he needed to get that ugly-ass dent fixed.

“I can’t be sure about mankind’s opinion, but personally I think you look… rather attractive as well.” Castiel spoke unexpectedly, still motionlessly standing at the other side of the Impala. “Wait. You just informed me that I’m not supposed to tell you that, because we are two males who are friends. My apologies, Dean.”

“Yeah okay, get in the car, angel-face.” Dean urged, ducking his head as he felt the blood stream to his face again.

Cas did that endearing head tip thing, scrutinizing Dean’s expression. “Was that a flirtation?”

Dean sighed theatrically. “No, I was referring to your _species_. Let’s go.”

~*~*~

At some point during their short drive to the grocery store, Dean suddenly recalled the black briefcase that was still very much present in the backseat. Right, those fortune cookies. Well at least they weren’t drugged, and it was his duty to make sure that people tried them out so he could give his opinion to Crowley when he came back to discuss a deal. Dean decided he might as well drop them off at the store, so that Jo could try one as well, and hand the rest out to random customers to get more opinions.

“We’re making a small detour, Cas. I gotta drop something off at work.” Dean announced as he turned the car around, now heading for _‘A Taste Of Heaven’_. “Grab that briefcase in the back for me, if you want.”

Cas nodded, reaching behind him to grab the object.

“Can I see what’s in it?” He asked, looking down at the briefcase that was now resting on his lap.

Dean smirked at Cas’s ever-present curiosity. “Sure. They’re cookies. Weird cookies, but they’re not bad. In fact, why don’t you try one.”

As far as Dean could tell, getting an angel’s opinion was probably a bonus.

Castiel opened the briefcase, deftly picking up one of the crescent shaped cookies and holding it up in front of his face, studying it intently.

“You break it open.” Dean hinted. “There’s a quote inside, they’re fortune cookies.”

“So they predict the future?” The angel asked as he gently broke the cookie in two parts.

“If you believe in that shit, sure.”

“I’m not sure if I believe in ‘ _that shit’_.” Cas replied dryly.

Dean could clearly make out the quotation marks in Cas’ tone when he borrowed Dean’s words, and while Cas fumbled with the tiny piece of paper, he couldn’t help but steal a quick glance at the angel and smile. It was a mystery to him _why_ Castiel’s company seemed to lift his spirits without Cas even trying. It could be an angel thing, maybe he was naturally radiating some kind of positivity… Or perhaps it was the idea of not being alone for once. Of having another person around to talk to, to do stuff with. On top of everything else; Castiel was an easy person to be around for some reason. Even though Cas had trouble keeping up with everyday human things, Dean found that it didn’t bother him that much that he often had to explain something simple for the umpteenth time. He secretly even _enjoyed_ teaching the angel how to adjust to all things human.

Cas’ deep voice put an end to Dean’s stormy thoughts. “ _Prepare to be faced with the choice between eternity and true love._ ”

Dean felt Castiel’s eyes on him, but he didn’t dare to turn and look, instead just shrugging it off. “I told you… It’s all vague, cryptic nonsense.”

Unlike he’d expected from an angel of the lord, Cas agreed with him on the matter.

“You were right. I already have eternity, angels are immortal. I’m not sure what this piece of baked dough is indicating, and I fail to see how it can predict my future.” The angel admitted. “They do taste fairly good.”

Again Dean laughed, without even thinking about it. He seemed to do that a lot ever since Castiel had come around. They’d reached their destination, and Dean parked the Impala in front of the store.

“Are you coming?” He said as he turned off the engine.

“Do you prefer me to do so?” Castiel asked in a rather formal manner.

“It’s not about what _I_ prefer, it’s about what _you_ prefer. We really gotta work on that, Cas. Free will and all that stuff… Now that you’re human, you can make _your own_ choices.” Dean explained as he took the key out of the ignition. “But for what it’s worth, I would love for you to see the business I helped set up. And you can meet my best friend, Jo. Only if you want to, of course.”

Cas grinned. “I think I would like that, Dean.”

Dean returned the grin automatically, as always affected by the angel in ways that he couldn’t comprehend. They both got out of the car, Castiel holding on to the briefcase as if it were the most important object in the world. When they entered the store, they were greeted with Jo’s smiling face. She was standing behind the counter, handing out change to the only customer in the store.

“Thank you, and have a nice day.” Jo cheerfully said to the old lady while handing her a paper bag.

“You too, dear.” The elderly woman smiled at her before heading for the exit.

She gave Dean and Castiel a friendly nod as she passed them, and they both returned the gesture.

“So, what brings you here, Winchester? Isn’t this your day off?” Jo teased immediately as soon as it was just the three of them. “And who is _that_?” She added appreciatively, looking Cas up and down pretty much the same way Charlie had done.

Dean pried the briefcase from Cas’ fingers, handing it over to Jo. “I know it’s my day off, thank you very much. Just came to drop this off.” He said, completely ignoring her question regarding Castiel.

Jo was distracted for a moment, curiously looking at the small black briefcase. “What is it?”

Dean provided her with a short summary of the day before, explaining her about the salesman who had approached their store with his odd fortune cookies and given them some free samples to hand out.

When Dean’s eyes accidentally flickered to Cas, he caught how his angel buddy squinted slightly as the name ‘Crowley’ was mentioned. Before he could ask about it though, Jo’s voice drove away that thought.

“Okay, great. I’ll hand out some of the cookies today, if Garth doesn’t eat them all before I get the chance, that is.” Jo promised. “But you still didn’t answer my other question! Who’s your cute friend?”

Dean awkwardly rested one hand on Cas’ shoulder, realizing that he couldn’t avoid the topic any longer anyway. It would be best to stick to the story that they’d told Charlie. “This is Castiel. He’s my cousin. From Europe.”

Jo frowned heavily. “Really? I never knew you had a cousin in Europe…”

“I never mentioned him. It just never came up.” Dean muttered dismissively.

“Alright….” Jo said, mild suspicion coloring her tone. Her eyes rested on Castiel, who was very preoccupied, glancing around the bakery, an appreciative smile tugging at his lips when he paused to check out a silver platter with freshly baked chocolate chip cookies on it. “Anyway, it’s nice to meet you, Castiel. I’m Jo, Dean’s best friend and annoying business partner all rolled into one. Which country in Europe are you from?”

A few seconds passed, during which Dean and Cas exchanged a weary look as they were trying to come up with a good reply.

“ _France._ ” The angel said abruptly, at the very same moment that Dean confidently said “ _Sweden._ ”

Jo skeptically narrowed her eyes at the two men.

“I was born in Sweden, but later I moved to France.” Castiel blurted out before Dean could even manage to catch up.

Dean’s eyes widened; he wasn’t going to deny that he was impressed by how quickly his angel had picked up on this common human skill called ‘lying’. Then he almost had a heart attack because he realized that his brain had just used the words ‘his angel’ to refer to Castiel.  Cas was not ‘his angel’.  Castiel was an angel alright, but Dean had only known him for a day, and he most certainly had no right to claim Cas as his property. All the same, his sub-consciousness had unabashedly chosen those words.

“I see. That’s really cool, I’ve always wanted to travel to Europe. Shame that I was always broke back when I still had the time to actually do it.” Jo said conversationally, at once breaking the tension, smiling at the both of them. “Well, I hope you’re enjoying your stay here, Cas. Oh, and if you want, you’re welcome to come to my little gathering tomorrow.”

Cas smiled one of his most disarming smiles at her. “That sounds lovely, I’ll think about it. Thank you, Jo. You’re very kind.”

Jo smirked. “Quite the charmer, aren’t you?”

“I think he made Charlie question her sexuality.” Dean was only partly joking when he voiced that thought. Said thought was accompanied by a taunting voice in the back of his mind that added _‘let’s not forget that he’s also making you question yours’_.

Cas merely tilted his head, which Dean by now knew meant that the angel was utterly confused.

The corners of Jo’s mouth twitched as she nodded at Castiel. “Really? Consider me impressed!”

The three of them were interrupted when the door of the bakery opened and a fresh stream of customers came in.

“Alright so, I’ll see you tomorrow?” Dean casually said to Jo, meanwhile vaguely nodding at a middle aged woman who’d greeted him with a polite nod of her own as she passed him.

“Yup, guess this is my cue, I’m going back to work. You boys have fun.” She replied with a wink as she dutifully moved back behind the counter, taking the briefcase with her.

“Come on, Cas.” Dean said, lightly tugging at Cas’ arm to get his attention, seeing as the angel was still curiously inspecting the bakery.

“Oh, right.” Castiel smiled sheepishly as he followed Dean outside.

When the both of them got into the Impala, Dean noticed that his new friend was suddenly _chewing_ on something, and closing his eyes in delight while doing so. That’s when he also recognized the half-eaten chocolate chip cookie in Cas’ hand.

Dean wasn’t sure whether to be shocked or amused, so he slowly shook his head as he called the angel out on the ‘crime’ that he’d just committed.

“Did you take that, Cas? How did you even manage to do that? You were standing right next to me the entire time.” Dean demanded.

Castiel’s overheated face answered the question for him.

“You used your mojo.” Dean concluded dryly. “You little cheater.”

“They looked so good, I was unable to resist. I apologize, Dean.” Cas at least had the decency to stop chewing, instead shamefully eyeing the last piece of cookie that he was holding between his slim fingers.

Sure enough, that was plenty to crack all of Dean’s defenses, and he settled for a simple eye roll instead of a disapproving scowl.

“It’s fine, Cas. It was my store, so all you had to do was _ask_. Just try to remember that at a regular store, you can’t just take stuff without _paying_ for it first.” He explained patiently.

“I will keep that in mind. You can’t take stuff from stores without paying.” Castiel repeated Dean’s words out loud as if trying to memorize them.

“That’s right, angel boy. Keep that rule in mind and you’ll be fine.” Dean said as he turned the keys, the engine roaring to life. “Alright, next on our to-do-list… Shopping. Let’s get it over with, huh?”

Castiel didn’t say anything, but his smile was pleased as he ate the rest of the cookie.

 _He’s such a weird dorky little guy_ , Dean thought fondly as lively blue eyes peeked up at him. Not like that was a deal breaker. Not at all…


	5. Chapter 5

Dean quietly observed Castiel, who was sitting on the edge of the queen-size bed in the middle of the spare bedroom, which Dean had officially declared to be the angel’s temporary room. Cas was gazing out the window even though it was dark outside. He had clearly been lost in his thoughts, seeing as he was startled when Dean spoke to make his presence known, his voice cutting through the silence.

“You doing okay there, buddy? Did you put away all your new stuff? Think you could get used to this room?”

When Cas turned around to look at where Dean was casually leaning against the frame of the door, Dean found that his new houseguest didn’t look too thrilled. His eyes were glassy, his forehead creased.

“Hey, we can always do some redecorating, add a few personal touches…” Dean suggested hesitantly.

“No, Dean, there’s no need.” Cas quickly shook his head, holding up a hand. “The room is nice, and you have been nothing but welcoming to me. It has nothing to do with any of this.”

“Oh…” Dean uttered, realizing that he’d misinterpreted Castiel’s sulky state. “Do you wanna… tell me what the real problem is then?” He added, tentatively walking up to the bed and sitting down beside the angel. He kept enough distance between them, ensuring that their elbows were the only body parts that were touching.

This was a rare event, no doubt, because Dean Winchester wasn’t usually the type to volunteer to talk about feelings or emotions. Nevertheless, he felt a mighty need to brighten Castiel’s mood, the same as Cas naturally seemed to brighten Dean’s mood ever since the very instant he’d crashed down to earth.

When Cas didn’t answer him, Dean turned his head, inspecting the expression on his friend’s face. Castiel felt his stare, and blinked before looking up to meet it, his ridiculously blue eyes wide and worried.

“I’m scared, Dean.”

“You’re scared…” Dean repeated slowly. “Scared of what?”

Castiel sighed, his bottom lip trembling the tiniest bit. “Forgetting.”

“Forgetting…” Again Dean copied Castiel’s words in an urging manner, hoping it would motivate Cas to give him something more to work with.

Castiel cast his eyes down, which made it a bit easier for Dean to focus on the angel’s words when he elaborated. “I told you, Dean… My memories seem to be fading. Ever since I’ve come to earth, I have trouble recalling who my family is, what Heaven is like… everything. It’s all bits and pieces, but it’s almost as if whenever I try to remember something specific, it slips away.”

Dean pondered on that for a moment, only to realize that yeah, it must be scary as hell to slowly lose every memory you’ve ever had of your past, of your _existence_. To not know when it would stop, _if_ it would stop.

“I’m sorry, Cas. I imagine that it must be hard on you.” He offered lamely, seeing as he didn’t know what else to say.

The angel forced a smile. “It’s not your fault.” There was a short pause, during which both of them were blankly staring at the fluffy grey carpet that covered the floor of the rarely used room.

“I know, but that’s what humans say when they’re trying to comfort someone.” Dean mumbled to the floor.

“I’m aware of that, Dean.” Cas said, sounding less glum now, maybe even a little amused.

Dean peered up at him, giving him a half smile. “Good. Because just so you know, I’m not going anywhere, Cas. I’ll help you through this, whatever this is.”

“And I appreciate that, you’ve already done more for me than I’d ever expected any human being to do for me.” Castiel responded, all the while keeping eye contact. “It’s just that I feel _lost_. I’m not able to even properly recall my own siblings, my family, any of my life before this, and I feel so isolated… I’m stuck in this place where I’m not even _supposed_ to be. And I’m scared that over time, I eventually also might forget who I am. _What_ I am.”

This was the point where Dean stopped trying to give in to his instincts, and he gently placed his arm around his friend’s shoulders, hoping to calm him down. “We’ll figure it out, okay? We won’t let that happen, I promise.”

The bright azure of Castiel’s eyes seemed to turn lighter at that declaration, and he managed to crack a grin at Dean, at the same time leaning in to Dean’s touch.

Dean decided that this was not the time to fight that longing for physical contact, and so he didn’t pull away from the warm body that rested against his own. After all, all he was doing here was comforting a friend. They stayed like that for a few minutes, Dean’s arm around Cas’ shoulder, both of them not saying much. Until the angel started to shift uncomfortably in the tight embrace.

“Oh…” Dean breathed, hastily pulling his arm away, awkwardly grinning as he freed Castiel. “I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable."

To Dean’s surprise, Castiel laughed. “You didn’t make me uncomfortable, Dean. My _wings_ are making me uncomfortable.” He explained.

“Ah right, it’s the wings.” Dean muttered, mostly to himself.

“They’re just a bit itchy, nothing I can’t handle.” Castiel assured him.

“Sure… Look, I’ve said it before, buddy, just pop them out if hiding them bothers you.”

Cas’ cheeks flushed, displaying the same color of red that they’d shown when Charlie had made him that compliment about his appearance.

Dean noticed, and so he tried to persuade the angel with one of his most appealing smiles. “Come on, Cas… I’ve seen your wings before, as long as it’s just the two of us there’s no need for you to put yourself in agony over them. You know I’m okay with it.”

“Fine…” Cas eventually huffed after they’d shared another lengthy stare.

There was a soft, rustling sound, and Dean leaned away from Castiel, giving him some space to manifest his wings.

The angel let out a relieved sigh. “Much better.” He admitted.

When Dean looked behind Cas, he noticed that the large, dark wings were ruffled, some feathers sticking out at odd angles. Cas must’ve felt it too, because he awkwardly reached behind his back, attempting to put some of the glossy feathers back into place.

“Is there something… You know, _wrong_ with them?” Even though wings seemed to be a rather personal subject to angels, Dean couldn’t help but ask.

The angel shook his head as he continued to thread his fingers through the messy feathers. “No Dean, they’re just a bit rumpled because I’ve been hiding them for an extended period of time.”

“Aha, I see…”

Dean was unable to stop staring, completely hypnotized as Cas’ fingers proceeded to comb through the larger feathers that weren’t out of his reach. His brain didn’t snap back into action until it became obvious to Dean that the angel was never going to succeed at grooming the feathers at the back of his wings.

To Dean’s utter terror, he suddenly found himself asking his new friend a rather blunt question without even giving his mouth permission to do so. “Do you… ehm… Need any _help_ with that, Cas?”

He regretted the words as soon as they were out. _‘You are an idiot, Winchester. It’s basically the same as asking to brush another dude’s hair! Not cool! What is this, a freaking slumber party?!’_

Castiel had been caught up in the task at hand, so when he looked up at Dean, he seemed both surprised and a bit embarrassed at the sudden offer. But then, to Dean’s shock, the angel _did_ accept the help.

“Would you mind terribly?” Cas verified shyly.

Dean could feel his ears turn a dark shade of pink, but he didn’t back out. “Well I… I offered, didn’t I?”

There was a small nod from the angel. “You did.”

There was no reason for Dean to be this nervous about helping out his friend with his little problem, but regardless, his heart was pounding violently as he crawled further onto the bed, positioning himself behind Castiel. He refrained from any further small talk, because he was sure that he wouldn’t be able to control his voice when speaking.

With the greatest care, he placed his hand on top of Castiel’s left wing. Dean took a deep breath as he felt the muscle twitch under his touch. The feathers were warm like Cas’ himself, and they felt incredibly soft under Dean’s fingertips. Ever so carefully he dragged his hand down, combing through some of the messy feathers, trying to get them back in place. A low humming noise escaped the angel’s mouth at the gentle touch.

Dean desperately tried to ignore that sound, as well as the peculiar feeling in the very pit of his stomach that it was causing. Instead, his fingers kept sliding through the dark feathers, smoothing them out one by one. He was using both hands now; one focusing on the right wing, while the other took care of the left one.

No matter the effort that Dean put in, it was impossible to remain unaffected as the angel arched his back, leaning in to his touch a little more. When an actual moan slipped from Castiel’s lips, Dean stilled his hands for a second, closing his eyes and willing away his forbidden thoughts. Most of the feathers looked decent again by now, but somehow, Dean found himself moving his hands back to the top of Cas’ wings, gently rubbing the strong, unyielding muscle there.

“Are they… I mean, are your… Your wings, always this tense?” Dean stuttered.

Cas seemed to snap out of his state of bliss, taking a short moment before looking back at Dean to answer him. Dean didn’t miss the blush on the angel’s cheeks.  “No, my guess is that they’re merely a bit stiff because I’ve been hiding them.”

“Right…” Dean said as his hands kept working. “Suppose that’s partly my fault, you know, since I was the one who called them stupid and all… I should make it up to you.”

Dean Winchester knew then and there that he was officially a lost cause. He didn’t know what had possessed him to speak those words. Didn’t know why his hands were now all but massaging Castiel’s wings, attempting to relax the rigid muscle. Or maybe he _did_ know, but he was too terrified to admit it to himself. There was the way the angel was leaning in to him, at ease and trusting, not afraid to let Dean touch the most essential part of him. There were the muffled sounds he made in the back of his throat as Dean’s fingers worked their magic. And after a while, a low _‘Dean’_ made its way from Cas’ lips to Dean’s ears. Dean knew he _had_ to stop, but his hands refused to cooperate with his brain.

Instead he brought his lips closer to Castiel’s ear, whispering into it as his hands softly continued to rub the angel’s wings. “Does that feel better?”

“Yes… Yes, Dean.” Cas whispered.

Dean was overwhelmed, brutally attacked by too many different feelings at once. Feelings he shouldn’t have. Because this was _ridiculous_. Castiel let out another satisfied sigh just as Dean had convinced himself that this had to stop right now.

And Dean _hated_ himself. Hated himself, because his thoughts were betraying him, even though he was trying to be rational and keep his cool. His mind was already way ahead of him, all set on corrupting this angel of the lord, thinking about all the things he wanted to do to Castiel.

Cas breathed in deeply, and that was enough of a sign for Dean to halt his actions, dropping his hands from the wings that he already longed to touch again the second he let go. He was about to give the angel a very good explanation for everything that had happened just now, when the distant sound of the phone ringing downstairs made both of them wince.

Dean distanced himself from Castiel, sliding off the bed. He immediately made his way out of the room while mumbling a weak apology to Cas. “I’m sorry I… I should… I should get that.”

He barely heard Castiel’s nearly soundless ‘of course’ as he closed the door of the guest room behind him, then sprinted down the stairs. Just in time, Dean picked up the phone, and was greeted by the voice of his clearly overexcited brother.

“Dean? Hey man, I’m glad you’re awake, there’s something I need to tell you… Don’t freak out, please. This may come as kind of a shock, but a good one, and I just had to tell you _first_!” He gushed, not at all sounding like his usual collected self, hardly even giving Dean a chance to respond.

“Okay, calm down, Sammy… Let’s hear it.” Dean pressed, positively curious now.

Sam didn’t waste any time.

“I’m going to be _a dad_ , Dean! Jess is pregnant! I can’t believe it! I mean, it wasn’t exactly planned, and I know that there’s a lot of things that we’ll need to arrange before the baby is born, but right now I just feel so… _happy_.” He was rambling as he broke the news to Dean.

Dean gaped at the phone, even though his brother obviously couldn’t see him. He needed half a minute to adjust. His baby brother was going to be a _father_. A father… It seemed highly surreal. Dean had been taking care of Sam nearly his entire life; ever since Mary had passed away, Dean had been the one who took care of his little brother, because John couldn’t just quit his job and stay home to take care of his boys. They needed money, which meant that most of the time, John Winchester had no other choice but to go to work, leaving his sons to look after themselves. Being the older brother, Dean had always seen it as his duty to look out for Sammy… But now soon, Sam would be the one taking care of another human being. Dean briefly felt a lump in his throat, but once he got past the biggest shock, he knew in his heart that he couldn’t be anything but sincerely happy for his brother. Naturally, all he wanted to do from here on was _support_ Sam, like he’d done from the very day that brother was born.

“Whoa Sammy, that is… That’s great. Congratulations, man. Not for nothing, but I’ve always thought you’d make one hell of a father someday. If you don’t force your kid to eat all that healthy rabbit food you love so much, that is. I think Jess will see to that though.”

Dean threw in a joke, and expected Sam to give a bitchy comeback at the last part of his reply, but it never happened.

“Thanks, Dean. I just… I know you’re gonna make one pretty awesome uncle.” He said instead, his way of letting his brother know that he appreciated the support. “I’m warning you though; no spoiling my kid.” He added, going for the same light tone that Dean had used.

That was enough to break the ice, and they talked for a bit, Sam informing Dean that Jess had already been on the phone with her parents for over forty minutes, and that Jess’ mother still hadn’t stopped squealing. There was some more lighthearted chatter between the two of them, which Dean enjoyed, but after a while Sam suddenly put on what Dean liked to call ‘his serious voice’.

“There’s something else I wanted to ask you, Dean.”

“Oh?” Dean replied nonchalantly, wondering why his brother had switched to serious mode all of the sudden. “Sure, shoot.”

“Alright… I was at the bakery today, and Jo mentioned something about our _cousin_? A ‘hot cousin’, according to her. The one that seems to be staying with you? From _Europe_?” Sam interrogated suspiciously. “Why didn’t you tell me we had family over? Besides, as far as I know, we don’t even _have_ a cousin from Europe, Dean… What did I miss?”

Dean groaned. That was one of the few inconvenient details about this strong bond he had with his little brother; there were no secrets between the two of them, therefore there was no way that Dean could ever get away with the lame cousin-from-Europe lie that he’d made up in a wave of unnecessary panic. Not with Sam. Which is why Dean decided on the spot that he wasn’t even going to try. Because in all honesty, he could really use someone to share this with. Someone whom he could give all the details about this bizarre situation, so that he could get a second opinion from an outsider. After all, it wasn’t every day that you had to deal with taking care of a fallen angel. And as much as Dean preferred to selfishly keep Castiel with him, he knew very well that angels belonged up in Heaven… If anyone could help figure this one out, it was his nerdy little brother.

“Dean?” Sam pushed, getting impatient.

“Yeah… Sammy? Look, I know it’s late, but do you think you could come over? I know it’s not the best timing either, but there’s something I really wanna talk to you about, and I don’t think I can do it over the phone… I think it’s best if I _show_ you.”

~*~*~

Sam had agreed without any hints of protest, assuring Dean that he didn’t mind coming over because in his current state there was no way he was ever going to be able to sleep. Other than that, knowing Jess, she would probably spend the next few hours calling all her relatives and friends to share the happy news.

It had been a rash decision on Dean’s part, but he needed to share his secret with someone, and who better to share it with than the one person in his life that he trusted most? He jogged up the stairs as soon as he’d put down the phone, planning to prepare Castiel for what was to come by informing him that he was going to tell his younger brother the whole story, hoping that Sam could help them get Cas back to Heaven where he belonged.

He softly knocked on the door of the guestroom, pushing it open when there was no response from Cas.

“Oh, wonderful.” Dean muttered when he stepped into the room.

Castiel was sprawled out in the middle of the comfortable bed; he’d fallen asleep on top of the covers after Dean’s little attempt at relaxation therapy. The angel hadn’t bothered to hide his wings either, and they were casually draped behind him on the bed.

It was a sight to behold, that much Dean was certain of. He didn’t even flinch at his own thoughts regarding Castiel’s appearance; He was attracted to the angel, and denying it was pointless. Dean would only be fooling _himself_.

He sighed deeply before getting a spare blanket from the closet in the corner of the room. He carefully placed it over Castiel’s sleeping form, trying not to wake him. It was mildly terrifying how Dean had to restrain himself to not run his hand through that disheveled dark hair.

He was about to turn around and go downstairs to wait for Sam, when a soft mumble from the angel stopped him.

“Dean…”

“It’s okay, Cas. Go back to sleep, we’ll talk tomorrow.” Dean promised.

But Cas didn’t answer him, and when Dean took a closer look, he could tell that the angel was still asleep. He was _dreaming_ , and to Dean’s horror and delight, the main subject of those dreams was _Dean_. Castiel trembled, and more incoherent words left his mouth.

“Dean… don’t… leave me. Want to stay… with you… _here_.”

The words were shooting straight to Dean’s heart, or that’s what it felt like. He grimaced, slowly shaking his head.

“You’re not helping, Cas...” He whispered into the dark. “As much as I want to, I can’t keep you… We can’t just take angels from the sky. We’re gonna get you back where you belong.”

Even though Dean felt like his words were hardly contributing to the soothing of Castiel’s fears, the sound of his voice seemed to be plenty to make the angel calm down. Cas’ eyelids fluttered and there was a soft sigh, but after that he seemed to relax, the tension leaving the features of his angelic face.

Oh, what a gorgeous face it was. Dean suppressed the urge to laugh at his own idiocy. How had he turned into a lovesick idiot within a matter of days? Nonetheless, one of his hands had a mind of its own, softly stroking through the angel’s soft, messy hair a couple of times. Luckily, he had enough willpower to not directly move on to the dark feathers of the wings.

He pulled away, shaking his head again.

“It’s not that I don’t want you here, Cas. I hope you know that...” He mumbled under his breath as he dragged his gaze away from the angel, turned around, and swiftly left the room.

~*~*~

“An angel?!” Sam choked on his coffee, coughing as he placed the mug back on the kitchen table.

Once Sam had arrived, Dean had hugged and congratulated him, then suggested they’d sit down before sharing his own news. The current expression on Sam’s face indicated that he wasn’t taking said news so well. He looked like he was genuinely worried about Dean’s sanity.

Dean put down his own mug, holding up his hands. “Look, I know it sounds bat-shit crazy okay, but you gotta hear me out, Sammy.” He pleaded.

“No really, Dean. Are you feeling alright? Have you been _drinking_? Hit your head?” Sam fired too many questions at once at Dean.

“No, I’m completely sane, okay? I’ll admit that I thought I was going nuts when I first found the dude though.” He confessed. “But he’s here, and he’s _real,_ and I need to talk about this to someone before I _explode_.”

Sam was staring at Dean as if he’d just grown a third arm or something equally disturbing, and Dean rolled his eyes at his disgruntled brother.

“See that’s why I asked you to come over, so that you could see for _yourself_.” Dean reminded him, getting up from his chair. “It’ll all make sense in a minute.”

It seemed that realization suddenly hit Sam, and he got up as well, bewilderedly scanning the kitchen as if he expected the angel to pop up at any second. “Wait, is he here in this room? Is he invisible? Is he listening?”

“You’re impossible.” Dean grumbled. “No, of course he’s not here. Last I checked he was sleeping, in the guest room. Come on.”

Dean gestured for his brother to follow him upstairs, and Sam complied, even though Dean did catch him glancing over his shoulder every two seconds like he was paranoid.

“Be quiet.” Dean warned before he slowly pushed open the door that lead to the guest room.

Despite the warning, Sam let out a small shriek at the sight of the angel that was curled up in the middle of the bed, slowly breathing in and out, still very much asleep.

Dean placed his hand over his brother’s mouth, scowling at him. “I told you to keep quiet.” He hissed.

“Yes, you did, Dean. But that thing has _wings_!” Sam uttered urgently as soon as Dean’s hand left his mouth.

_That thing_. Dean flinched at his brother’s choice of words. “Don’t talk about him like that, his name is Castiel.” He said in automatic defense, making sure to keep his volume low.

“Yes well, I’m sorry for needing a freaking _minute_ to recover from this.” Sam replied, eyes wide and never leaving the sleeping angel.

Cue the customary awkward silence.

“So huh… do you believe me now?” Dean asked dryly.

Sam threw up his hands in exasperation. “I hardly have much of a choice here, do I?”

“Yeah… Welcome to the club.” Dean countered.

The both of them froze when the angel suddenly mumbled something. Dean took a few steps towards the bed to check if Cas had woken up, but the angel’s eyes were still firmly shut. Sleep talking again then. Dean was about to turn around so that he and Sam could continue their conversation downstairs, when Castiel once again said Dean’s name like a prayer, like he’d done when Dean had checked on him before Sam’s arrival. The angel restlessly shifted in his sleep, a frown forming on his forehead.

“Shh, it’s okay, Cas. I’m here.” Dean said softly.

As if captured by some kind of spell, he leaned in. His hand found its way to Cas’ hair as if on instinct, gently stroking through it a few times to try and soothe him. The angel sighed loudly, but then his lips turned up into an almost imperceptible smile, and before long he was calmly slumbering again.

Dean retreated, trying to be as quiet as possible as he pushed Sam out of the room and shut the door behind them. When he turned to face his younger brother, Sam was gawking at him.

“I cannot believe what I just witnessed.” Sam said, talking louder now that the door was closed.

“Tell me about it.” Dean agreed as he headed for the stairs, hearing Sam follow after him. “It takes some time to get used to the wings. He can hide them though, he usually does when he’s awake.”

“Not _that_!” Sam spoke in utter disbelief. “I meant the way you _talked_ to him… The way you _touched_ him… You have _feelings_ for him, don’t you?”

Dean cleared his throat, his face heating up and his stomach dropping at the accusation. _Busted_. He was so very busted. _Man up, Winchester, no need to panic,_ he inwardly told himself. Time for tactic number one; denial.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about, Sammy. Besides, you know that I don’t swing that way.” Dean answered curtly as they descended the stairs.

“The hell you don’t!” Sam argued when the both of them paused in the hallway. “Dude, you looked at him as if he’s hung the moon!”

Sam was now effectively staring Dean down, and Dean knew that tactic number one had already failed. Time to move on to tactic number two; dismissing the subject by turning it into a joke.

“Well he is an _angel_ , Sam. For all we know, he _could_ have hung the moon.”

“That was not my point, and you know it.” Sam shot back immediately. He never stopped scrutinizing Dean’s face, and Dean knew that his brother was not going to let this go.

Great… This called for tactic number three, the most dreaded one of them all; fessing up and telling a less shameful version of the truth, if possible without dying from sheer embarrassment.

“Fine, I _care_ about the guy, okay? He’s my friend, he needs my help to survive down here, and if you meet him next time when he’s actually awake, you’ll agree with me that he’s a very likeable person.” Dean delivered his pro-Castiel speech in a tone that he hoped would let Sam know that this was the last thing he would say regarding that subject.  

Sam held up his hands in defeat, pressing his lips together in a tight line.

“I’m just looking out for him, he can’t help it that this happened to him.” Dean clarified when his brother remained speechless. “Whatever ‘this’ is...”

“Okay fine, whatever…” Sam huffed. “Just, don’t get too attached, Dean. We don’t even know what’s going on, or if he has a hidden agenda. And even if he truly is the saint that you claim he is, you don’t know if he can stay here.”

Dean clenched his jaw, but didn’t go against Sam this time.

“I know, Sammy. I know that he belongs up in Heaven. That’s why I need _your help_. We have to find out what happened, and whether or not we can or should undo it…” 


	6. Chapter 6

Sleep came easily to Dean that night, which was unusual for him. Not that he was complaining. Maybe it was because of the relief he felt now that he had finally shared his crazy-ass secret with someone. Or because Sam had promised to help him figure out what on earth was going on and how they could help Castiel get back to where he belonged. According to Sam, a few years back Jess had gone through some phase where she’d been very interested in mythology, and so he’d promised to ask her if she happened to have any books that said anything about angels. The reassurance that he was no longer all alone in this, served to give Dean some peace of mind.

When he woke up after a calm, dreamless sleep, it was still dark outside. The bright green numbers on the alarm clock told  him that is was nearly 4am. He tried to blink the sleep out of his eyes, his cloudy brain slowly processing what exactly it had been that had startled him awake in the middle of the night. It had been a sound… More like a scream. Dean wasn’t sure if it had been in his head, or if this mysterious scream had actually happened. He reached for the nightstand, switching on the bed lamp. He sat a little straighter, glancing around the dimly lit room and listening for any other suspicious sounds. Silence was all he got. Just as he made a move to turn off the light and go back to sleep, the silence was interrupted by the faint shuffling of footsteps. The next thing Dean knew, the door to his bedroom opened with a shrill cracking noise.

Castiel shyly shuffled inside. His hair had reached a new level of untidy, and there was a horrified look on his face.

“Cas?” Dean questioned, frowning up at the angel standing beside the bed.

Thanks to their little shopping trip, Cas was wearing pajama pants that actually fit him, but he was also still wearing one of Dean’s old oversized shirts. There were no wings, which Dean had learned to take as a sign that Castiel was either unhappy or uncomfortable.

“I didn’t mean to disturb you, Dean.” He said, voice soft and shaky.

Dean waved his hand in a dismissive gesture at Cas’ concern. “You’re not disturbing me. What’s wrong?”

The angel took in a loud gush of air, blinking down at Dean. “I… I was falling again. But not to earth… There was fire beneath me. Fire was everywhere… I was going to burn… it was terrifying. It felt so _real_.”

“I see...” Dean sighed, relieved as he realized that nothing serious was going on; Cas had just experienced his first real nightmare.

Cas didn’t share that relief. He looked closer to spilling tears than anything else.

“You were just having a bad dream, buddy. All humans do every now and then.” Dean explained, shooting the angel a smile that he hoped was reassuring.

“It’s awful.” Cas said, his bottom lip quivering, his legs shaking.

Dean tiredly rubbed his forehead, feeling a large rush of sympathy towards the frightened angel that was awkwardly standing there. It had to be more than a little difficult for him to adjust to all of these human emotions in such a short amount of time. There was a sudden urge Dean felt, the urge to comfort Cas and make it better…

He knew he was going to regret what he was about to say. He _knew,_ but that was hardly enough to keep him from saying it anyway.

“You know, Cas…” Dean cleared his throat before he continued. “Why don’t you just… stay _here_ for a bit?”

Cas looked unsure, raising both his eyebrows at Dean. “You mean… right _here_? In your bed?” He asked, tilting his head.

Dean coughed as Castiel relentlessly summarized the facts, wincing a little at how wrong all of this sounded. Well screw that. It wasn’t like normal human etiquette applied to a freaking angel of the lord. In the back of his head, Dean knew that he was just making excuses for the way in which he treated Castiel, but he slid over to make room for the angel anyway, holding back the comforter to invite him in.

“Yeah. Just don’t steal the covers and stay on your own side of the bed, alright?” Dean named his conditions, half joking, half serious.

“Alright Dean, I can do that.”

“Great… That’s just great, Cas.”

Castiel crawled under the covers, resting on his side so that he was facing Dean. Dean was lying on his back, but he could feel Cas’ eyes on him even though he couldn’t see the angel.

“You know it’s creepy to stare at people like that, right?” Dean mockingly clued him in.

“Right. My apologies.” Cas mumbled.

Dean let his head fall to the side to meet Cas’ eyes, but when he did, those big pools of blue were already hidden behind closed eyelids. Apparently he had taken Dean’s comment in the most literal sense, like he often did. It made Dean chuckle, and Cas’ eyes fluttered open again at the sound, their gazes finally connecting.

“So, no wings?” Dean asked lightly, trying to distract Cas for a bit now that they were both awake anyway.

The angel blushed as if on cue when Dean brought up the wings. “I don’t want to take up any more space than is absolutely necessary, Dean.”

“Fair enough.” Dean muttered, never taking his eyes away from Cas’.

It should be getting really awkward just about now, staring into another dude’s eyes in a not so platonic way for minutes in a row. But it wasn’t awkward at all. Why wasn’t it awkward? How was Dean not freaking out about any of this?

“Dean?”

Cas saying his name made that Dean instantly let go of all of these thoughts.

“Yeah, Cas?”

“How do I make sure it doesn’t happen again?” He asked. “The bad dreams, I mean.”

“Oh… I’m afraid you can’t.” Dean answered. “It’s not something you can control, it just sort of… happens. I guess all you can do is think happy thoughts. You know, distract yourself before you go to sleep, try not to think about the things that scare you.”

“That makes sense.” Cas nodded, giving Dean a modest smile. “What do _you_ do when you’ve had a bad dream?”

Dean needed some time to think about that. He could hardly remember the last time he’d actually had a nightmare. He’d rarely had any disturbing dreams as an adult, but something he _did_ vividly remember was when he’d had nightmares back when he was a kid… When his mother Mary had still been alive, she would always sing to him until he was calm enough to go back to sleep.

It wasn’t often that Dean talked to anyone about her, because somehow it still hurt after all these years. But there was no denying it; he seemed to make many exceptions for Castiel.

“You know, when I was younger, my mom used to sing to me… To help me go back to sleep when I was scared.”

Cas smiled at Dean again, but it was a somber smile this time, as if he knew. “She passed away.” It was more of a statement than a question.

All Dean could manage was a nod. He shifted so that he was lying on his side as well, making it easier to remain eye contact.

“And you still miss her.” The angel said, his smile wavering even more.

“I do.” Dean didn’t even try to go against that assumption.

They were simply gazing at each other for a minute or so before Castiel spoke again.

“What did she sing to you?” He asked, sounding curious now.

“Lots of different things…” Dean murmured. “One of her favorites was a song named ‘Hey Jude’, she sang that one a lot.”

Castiel obviously knew nothing about any common songs or artists, and he looked truly puzzled. In fact, the adorable confused-puppy look made Dean grin ever so slightly.

“Are you enjoying my embarrassing lack of knowledge about human music?” Cas glared at him, but Dean could see how the angel’s lips were going up at the corners at the same time.

“Maybe.” He teased.

“That’s not very nice of you, Dean.” Castiel’s scowl at him was a playful one. “You know, perhaps you could sing the song? Then I’ll at least know _one_ song.”

Dean rolled his eyes at that suggestion. “No way. I can’t even sing.” He grumbled.

“I’ll be the judge of that.” Cas said, his face turning more serious.

“Not a snowball’s chance in hell. I’m not singing, Cas.”

Out of nowhere, there it was. The sad, pleading look that always slammed right through Dean’s defenses. The blue eyes wide and begging, looking up at him through dark lashes. That fucker had to know _exactly_ what he was doing. Dean’s heartbeat picked up its pace.

“Fine!” Dean all but growled. “But I’m turning off the lights first. I can’t sing with you looking at me with those… those _eyes_.”

Cas squinted, brow furrowed. “Is something wrong with my eyes?”

Dean could tell that the angel was feigning innocence right there, and he hit the switch of the lamp without another word.

The now dark room made the silence that followed seem even more pressing. Dean half expected Cas to say something because he didn’t start singing right away, but Cas pleasantly surprised him by keeping quiet and waiting patiently.

When the first words of ‘Hey Jude’ spilled from Dean’s mouth, it was so soft that it was close to inaudible.

_‘Hey, Jude… Don’t make it bad. Take a sad song, and make it better…’_

Dean paused, unsure if he should continue. He was contemplating whether or not he was going to humiliate himself even more, the only purpose being cheering up this angel. He bit his lip, his conflicted thoughts messing with his brain… Until he suddenly felt Cas’ hand over one of his, the one that was already holding on to the pillow. Castiel gave it a mild squeeze.

 _Oh no_. No no no. Hand-holding. With a dude. In a bed. Together. Hand-holding with a dude while being together in a bed. That was not okay… And what was even less okay, was that despite Dean’s short wave of panic, it _did_ feel okay… More than just okay. Nice. Safe. Reassuring. He would be stupid to not accept a gesture so genuinely comforting.

And so Dean took a deep breath, giving Cas’ hand a small squeeze of his own in return before he started singing again. Because _yes_ , making this angel happy _was_ worth any form of possible humiliation. His voice was still low as he sang, but clearer this time, more confident.

‘ _Hey, Jude… Don’t make it bad. Take a sad song, and make it better… Remember, to let her into your heart, then you can start, to make it better…’_

Dean had no idea if he actually finished the song. Or who fell asleep first. All he knew was feeling Castiel’s warm hand still tightly holding on to his before he slipped into unconsciousness…

~*~*~

The most prominent sensation Dean felt when waking up was _warmth_. Lots and lots of warmth. On second thought, maybe a bit too much warmth for it to be entirely comfortable. He cracked one eye open, noticing the single ray of light that was peeking through the curtains. He blinked a couple of times, but soon dragged his eyes away from the specks of dust that were dancing in the sunlight when he realized that there was something much more important that he should be focusing on. Said something was the not-so-common weight against his side... When he lifted his head to investigate, he noticed the angel that was curled up against him, still fast asleep. Cas’ arm was draped around Dean’s waist, and his breath caressed the side of Dean’s neck.

Dean tried to stay cool and composed as he glanced down at Castiel, because this was not at all what he had planned when he’d offered for his friend to stay with him for the night. He had to give it to Cas though; the angel had honored most of the rules. One: he hadn’t claimed all of the covers. Two: he had managed to keep his wings to himself while being unconscious, because they were nowhere to be seen. Which, technically, meant that the only rule that had been violated was Cas staying on his own side of the bed. Yeah, that rule had definitely been broken.

Cas’ untamed hair tickled Dean’s shoulder. Cas’ warm breath fanned against Dean’s throat. Well that was inconvenient. And alluring. Very alluring. Dean was not attracted to guys, he really wasn’t, but he was also only human. So when a gorgeous angel was snuggling into his side, looking all adorable and smelling all nice, how could anyone expect him to _not_ be attracted to that? Dean shook his head, trying to clear his mind. He needed to get out of this position before even more very disturbing ideas came to mind. He sneakily tried to free himself from Castiel’s embrace. The angel mumbled something that might have been a protest, but he did let go of Dean, his eyes fluttering open as Dean got out of the bed.

He yawned, then drowsily smiled up at Dean. “Morning, Dean.”

Something about Castiel’s disarming smile compelled Dean to smile back at the angel rather than to lecture him about the concept of personal space when sharing a bed with a friend.

“I’m uh, gonna take a shower, Cas. So, I guess the bed’s all yours now.” Dean announced, dragging his eyes away from the still sleepy angel.

“Hmm, that’s nice…” Cas mumbled, turning onto his stomach and closing his eyes again, now using Dean’s pillow instead of his own.

There was the soft rustling of feathers, and when Dean threw a last look at Cas before escaping to the bathroom, he saw the shiny black wings that now took up most of the bed. Dean tried to shake the thought of how used he’d gotten to them already…

~*~*~

If you asked Dean, any kind of administrative work sucked. Sadly, when having your own business it was impossible to avoid.

Dean decided to spend his free hours before he was forced to go to Jo’s BBQ party, on getting some paperwork done for the store. He was sitting at the rarely used dining table in the living room, fingers flying over the keyboard of his laptop. He was actually getting some stuff done, until Cas showed up and distracted him. Although the angel was always a pleasant distraction, he was a distraction nonetheless.

Dean glanced up from his laptop for the first time in an hour when Cas sat down on the chair across from him. Castiel’s hair was still wet from the shower, but he was wearing an outfit that actually matched.

“Hello, Dean.” He greeted with a guilty frown. “I apologize for staying in bed this long, your bed just happened to be exceptionally comfortable.”

“It’s fine, Cas. That’s what Sundays are for, sleeping in and being lazy.” Dean said, grinning at his friend. “Do you want me to make you some food?”

Castiel shook his head. “No, I think I want to try doing it myself.”

“Alright then… Just yell if you need me. I’m gonna try to finish this.” Dean said, his eyes reluctantly darting back to the screen of his laptop.

“Yes, you should.” Cas agreed. “I don’t want to keep you from your work any longer, but can I ask one more question first?”

Dean looked up again, staring right into the bright blue eyes that were still fixed on him.

“Sure, shoot.”

“I found this in the closet of the guest room, I wondered if perhaps I could have it? And use it?”

It wasn’t until now that Dean noticed the black notebook that Cas was holding. He couldn’t remember ever using it, which probably meant it was empty, and so he nodded immediately, giving the angel permission to keep it.

“Can I ask what you’re going to use it for?” Dean asked curiously.

Cas attempted to smile, but it was the kind of half-smile that radiated sadness.

“Only if you want to tell me.” Dean quickly added.

Castiel’s smile became a bit more genuine at that. “I always want to tell you everything, Dean. I just… I just want to write down some of the memories about my life and my sisters and brothers that I _do_ remember. In case I forget later. Does that make any sense?”

That made a lot of sense to Dean, and he encouraged Cas with a nod. “Yes... Yes, it does. I think that’s a very clever idea, Cas…”

~*~*~

“So get this.” These were the default words that always warned Dean that his younger brother was about to launch into a lengthy explanation.

Dean and Sam were both standing next to the grill that was placed at one of the corners of Jo’s rather spacious garden, dutifully flipping over burgers and sausages as they observed the other people at the party. Jo had advertised that it was a ‘small gathering’ but already no less than fifty guests were taking a stroll around the back yard.

Castiel had agreed to come along after some persuasion from Dean, and right now he was animatedly talking to Jess, Ellen, and Bobby. The four of them were nowhere within hearing range, which suited Dean just fine because he and Sam had things to discuss.

Ellen was Jo’s mother, and the closest thing to a mother figure that the brothers still had left. She had always been a close family friend, and after both Mary and John had passed away, she’d seen it as her duty to frequently check upon the Winchester boys. Ellen’s husband and Jo’s father had passed away when Jo was barely five years old, but Ellen had gotten remarried to Bobby Singer. Bobby was a little rough around the edges, but once you got to know him he was honest, caring, and always straight to the point. He was nothing short of awesome in Dean’s book, and like Ellen, Bobby treated Sam and Dean like they were family.

Unfortunately, that also meant that both Ellen and Bobby knew the Winchester family history like the back of their hands, and Sam had hinted at Dean that he would no longer be able to get away with his spur of the moment cousin-from-Europe lie as soon as the Singers were included. Dean had admitted that Sam had a point there, and so he’d told Bobby and Ellen that Castiel was an old friend that Dean had met at college, while telling Jo and Charlie that the whole cousin-thing was just one of their silly inside jokes from the old days. Most of them had seemed somewhat suspicious because Dean had never mentioned Castiel before, but Cas was doing a lot of damage control at the moment by unleashing his charms on Ellen, Bobby and Jess. It seemed that the angel was succeeding, since currently, Ellen and Bobby were broadly smiling at something he’d said.

“Are you even listening to me, Dean?” Sam pressed as he swatted Dean’s arm to get his attention.

“Yeah yeah. Sorry, I was just checking to make sure that no one’s able to hear us, for obvious reasons.” Dean quipped, rolling his eyes at his brother.

Sam shot Dean a bitchy look, but continued anyway. “Okay, so, angels. I checked one of the books that Jess had still lying around, and it turns out that according to mythology, they’re not all cute fluffy wings and shiny halos.”

“They’re not? How so?” Dean probed, not particularly liking the sound of that.

“Alright… The book states that most angels are, well… _dicks_.” Sam answered hesitantly as Dean caught him briefly glancing at Castiel. “They’re soldiers, warriors of god. They don’t have feelings, and they don’t care about much. They simply exist to follow the orders of the heavenly host.”

Dean coughed, a nervous habit, and his eyes were seeking out Cas again. Jo’s brother Ash had joined the group, and Ash and Cas were shaking hands, the angel giving Dean’s best friend’s brother a warm smile.

“ _All_ of them?” Dean asked, voice strained.

Sam shrugged, taking a sip of his beer. “I don’t know Dean, I didn’t get that many details. Only half a chapter of that book was dedicated to angels. However, apparently archangels are the biggest douchebags.”

“Archangels? They’re like the ones on top of the food chain?”

“I suppose.” Sam responded. “So there’s Michael, Raphael, Gabriel, and Lucifer. Now we all know what happened to Lucifer…”

Dean took a swig of his beer as well, trying to wrap his head around everything that his brother was telling him. “Lucifer fell. He became the devil.”

“Exactly. I’m not sure about the rest of them, but I think that’s solid proof right there that angels aren’t all saints.” Sam said darkly. “That’s archangels though, they’re like upgraded angels, or so the book says.”

“I see…” Dean said, suddenly remembering that he was supposed to be keeping an eye on the burgers and hastily flipping them over. “So, what about regular angels?”

“I don’t know much, just that there are a lot of those, and only a few of them were mentioned. Although there was a tiny paragraph about _your_ angel.” Sam elaborated.

Dean ignored the words ‘your angel’ because he honestly didn’t feel like arguing today. He was far more interested in what Sam had to say than in bickering with him. “What about Cas?”

“He’s an observer of events happening both in heaven and on earth, and is better known as Cassiel, the Angel of Thursday. He’s not supposed to actually interfere with anything though, especially not humanity. Not unless it’s absolutely necessary.” Sam clarified.

“But nowhere it says that he actually is a dangerous, big bag of dicks?” Dean asked hopefully, although fearing the answer.

“No Dean, or I would’ve warned you earlier.” Sam deadpanned. “And I have to agree with you, he seems nice enough. All I’m saying is, be careful. There might be a lot more to angels than we know...”

Dean’s eyes drifted to Cas again, who was now talking to Ash. The angel did that adorable head tilt at something that Jo’s brother said, making Dean’s insides melt. Charlie and Garth were also standing with them now, both grinning at Castiel’s obvious confusion at whatever it was that they were discussing. Dean’s stomach did a flip when Castiel’s eyes suddenly met his. Cas didn’t miss a beat and flashed Dean a smile that was brighter than a thousand suns. Dean’s insides turned, and he knew that he was _screwed_. So very screwed, and beyond saving.

~*~*~

Jo’s important announcement came as no surprise to Dean. After they’d all enjoyed some burgers and drinks, she’d declared in general that Adam had asked her to marry him. Of course she had happily accepted, and he was going to move in with her next week. Dean was happy for them, he truly was. Adam was a good guy as far as Dean could tell, and if anyone deserved to be happy, it was Jo.

Regardless, under the influence of more than a few beers Dean still felt the pressure to do what he had to do as Jo’s best friend and surrogate brother, which was to give Adam the obligatory ‘hurt-her-and-I-will-hurt-you’ speech.

It was getting dark outside, but Jo had made sure that little lanterns were placed everywhere, bathing the back yard in a warm orange glow. Dean had taken his chance to talk to Adam while the two of them had cleaned the grill. At first Adam had tensed up when Dean had broached the subject that he needed to broach as Jo’s best friend, but right now they were past the serious part, lightly joking around about it.

“I swear bro, if I ever hurt her, you have my permission to do to me whatever you want.” Adam vowed in an official tone.

Dean snorted as he finished his beer. “I’m gonna hold you to that.”

Some small talk followed between the two men, and Dean tried to focus as he chatted with Adam, but his attention occasionally shifted to where Cas was sitting on the porch steps, quietly talking to Sam who was sitting with him. The two of them seemed to be having a serious conversation, and Dean was unsure whether to be concerned or not. After all, he still hadn’t told Cas that Sam was in on their little secret now. He could guess why Sam was so eager to talk to Castiel though; his brother was probably trying to figure out if the angel was a serious threat or not.

The second Sam got up because Jess called him over, Dean clasped Adam on the shoulder, leaving with a short ‘excuse me’. He made his way over to the porch steps, sitting down right beside Cas where Sam had been sitting moments earlier.

“Hello Dean.” Cas said, turning his head and directing a smile at him.

Dean chuckled, forever astonished at the formal way in which Cas loved to greet him.

“Heya Cas.”

This could be the kind of moment where an awkward silence occurred. It could be, but it wasn’t. It never was with Cas, because he always liked to chat to Dean. And even when the both of them didn’t feel like talking, their silences were mostly comfortable.

“I really like your friends.” Castiel remarked, the smile never leaving his face. “They’re all very nice to me. And I especially like your brother Sam. He’s very intelligent, and kind. He looks up to you a lot, you know that?”

Dean barked out a laugh, dismissively shaking his head. “Yeah… I’m sure he does.”

“Don’t sell yourself short, Dean Winchester.” Cas retorted, detecting the sarcasm right away, thereby showing Dean that he was a lot less oblivious than he appeared to be at times.

“Whatever.” Dean mumbled. “Look Cas, I have to tell you something about Sam.”

It was Castiel who laughed now, and Dean quirked an eyebrow at him.

“You told him, about me. I know.” Cas simply said. “That is what we talked about. He’s very honest, your brother.”

Dean tried to hide his bewilderment, and he waited a minute before he trusted himself to speak again.

“Well then… aren’t you _pissed_ at me?”

The angel laughed again, that rare but glorious sound. “No Dean. I trust your judgment, therefore I trust Sam.”

There was a short silence, filled by faint waves of pop music and the soft buzzing sound of bugs. The both of them observed the other guests at the party. Most of them were half-drunk by now, and it was quite an entertaining sight. Charlie was dancing with Jo to some cheesy 80’s song that they’d put on. Ash and Garth were trying to mimic the girls’ movements, even though they were both too drunk to properly stand on their feet. Adam was staring lovingly at his dancing fiancée as he talked to Bobby, seemingly not bothered by the fact that she was making a fool of herself. Ellen seemed conflicted, her face indicating that she was internally debating whether or not she should protect Jo from herself. But then Jess and Sam started talking to Ellen, and she appeared to be distracted from her daughter’s silly antics.

Dean didn’t flinch or even move when he suddenly felt how Castiel rested his head on his shoulder. He’d already gotten so comfortable around the angel that the lack of personal space between them no longer fazed him.

“So, did you have a good time?” Dean asked, his hand aimlessly stroking through Castiel’s hair.

Cas leaned in to the touch as if it were the most normal thing in the world. Dean blamed the alcohol. They were both pretty buzzed; He’d noticed that Cas had indulged in a couple of beers as well, and he knew very well how alcohol could cloud a person’s judgment.

“I did. I’m glad you convinced me to come with you.”

“Good.” Dean whispered.

He blocked out the party then, gazing up at the many stars that were showing because the night was totally clear. Without looking, he could almost sense that Castiel was doing the same.

They stayed like that for a while, until Jo’s voice abruptly snapped them both out of their private little bubble.

“Oh my god! It’s true then! You _are_ gay for him!” She exclaimed as she stumbled towards them on unsteady legs, giving Dean a look of defeat. “Dammit! This means that I owe Charlie fifty bucks.” She added, dejectedly shaking her head as she stalked off again before Dean could even correct her.

Cas’ head shot up, and he owlishly blinked at Dean.

“Oh… From your friend’s reaction I’m guessing that this is not appropriate for friends to do? You should’ve told me, Dean. I’m not always aware of what is acceptable...”

The angel scooted away from Dean, putting some distance between them. Dean glanced sideways at Castiel who appeared to be ashamed. Dean shook his head, reaching out his arm to pull Cas into his side again.

“It’s fine, Cas.  Let’s just say that normal human rules don’t apply to you because you’re an angel, okay?” Dean muttered as he felt how Castiel willingly rested his head on his shoulder again.

So yeah, maybe Dean wasn’t being entirely honest there, but he selfishly wanted to be as close to Cas as possible; it wasn’t his fault that he was completely gone on this angel. If Dean hadn’t known it already… Well he sure knew now. 


	7. Chapter 7

Going to work the next day was a true struggle. Never had Dean particularly hated Mondays, but the idea of leaving Cas behind when going to work was not something he’d looked forward to. Not even because he didn’t trust Cas to stay home alone, but because he’d already become so used to the angel’s presence.

Dean went about his day, socializing with his customers and catching up with Garth during their breaks. His mind was never truly free of Castiel, and he regularly checked his phone to make sure Cas didn’t need him; he’d told Cas to call him if anything was wrong.

But Cas never called. Sam, on the other hand, _did_ call. Dean’s phone started ringing just as Dean was about to close the bakery, and he picked up to be greeted by his brother’s voice.

“Dean, hey.”

“Hey Sammy. What’s up?” He asked as he locked the door to his pathetic excuse for an office, just to be sure.

“Alright… I might have something that could help you, but please keep an _open mind_.” Sam supplied.

“Okay, I’m listening.” Dean replied, more alert now.

“Open mind.” Sam reminded him once more before continuing. “So apparently Jess knows this woman who claims she’s a _medium.”_

“A medium…” Dean repeated dumbly as his brain tried to take in that plot twist.

“Yes, Dean. Apparently she’s psychic. Her name is Pamela Barnes, and she only lives a one hour drive from here.” Sam clarified. “I thought that maybe that was the kind of help you could use, you know, with your little _angel problem_.”

“A medium.” Dean uttered the word again, not hiding his skepticism.

Sam laughed on the other end of the line. “You believe in angels, but the thought of someone having psychic abilities is too unlikely for you?”

Ouch. Dean hated when Sam was this annoyingly _right_. With little grace, Dean asked for said psychic’s address, then scribbled it down when Sam read it out loud.

He thanked his brother before hanging up, and he swiftly turned off the lights and grabbed his coat.

Out of nowhere, Dean was confronted with a feeling that he had never experienced in his life. The feeling of having _a reason_ to go home. Having _someone_ to come home to.

Usually, Dean didn’t care about working late, or about staying a bit longer to handle some paperwork; he was never in a rush to get back to that big empty house once the bakery closed. But for the first time in forever, things were different. Because he _did_ have someone waiting for him. He had someone whom he had missed while being away. He had a reason to drive just a little faster, so that he’d get home sooner.

He found himself ignoring the speed limit as thoughts about whether or not he should contact this Pamela person tumbled through his head.

He still hadn’t made up his mind when he parked the Impala in the driveway, but all thoughts of mediums were instantly forgotten anyway when he got inside the house and found Castiel in _the_ _kitchen_ , of all places. The angel was standing at the stove, and by the look of things, he was actually trying to _cook_. The biggest hint was the smell of food that made Dean’s mouth water. There were no wings to be seen, but Dean assumed that it was more of an attempt at normalcy than because of Cas not feeling comfortable.

“Hello, Dean.” Castiel welcomed him with a dazzling smile so wide that his teeth were showing.

“Cas… Hey.” Dean responded cautiously as he approached the stove. “What’s this?”

Castiel beamed proudly. “I am cooking _pasta_. A friendly woman on the television provided me with clear instructions, and you had most of the ingredients that I needed.”

Dean was taken aback upon discovering that, whatever Cas was trying to cook, actually looked _wonderful_. He distantly remembered what Sam had told him; angels were pros at following literal orders. That explained a lot.

“It’s almost done.” Castiel announced. “Why don’t you take a seat?”

Dean was too stunned to not obey, and he sat down at the kitchen table. He watched with interest as Castiel worked on the final touches, moving around the kitchen as if it was second nature to him. Dean was sure he had to be dreaming when Castiel placed two plates of delicious-looking pasta on the table, then sat down across from Dean without a word.

Nothing could have stopped Dean from moaning around the first bite. Cas’ cooking adventure had ended unexpectedly well, and according to the blissful look on the angel’s face as he tasted the food himself, Dean wasn’t the only one who thought so.

Cas grinned as he swallowed a mouthful of pasta. “Human food truly is good.”

Dean smirked and nodded in agreement. “Yeah, especially when the person preparing it is a decent cook. This is really _awesome_ , Cas.”

The angel looked very pleased with the compliment, and they both ate their meals in silence.

Unsurprisingly, the first one to break that silence was Castiel. “Human food is my second favorite thing about being stuck on earth.” He stated as he put down his fork on his now empty plate.

“It is, huh?” Dean asked as he peered into Castiel’s twinkling blue eyes. “Then what’s the first thing on that list of yours?” He questioned, fascinated and eager to find out more about whatever was going on inside Castiel’s head.

“ _You_.” Castiel answered without missing a beat. “Food satisfies me in some way, but being around you makes me truly _happy_. My stomach does this odd thing whenever you are near, but it feels _pleasant_.”

For several heartbeats, Dean forgot how to breathe. He knew that Castiel was always straight to the point, but this was a lot to handle, and Dean didn’t know how to react. He wanted to tell Cas that this was not the kind of stuff you randomly told another person over dinner. That it was _inappropriate_. That it was about as serious as a love confession.

But how was that fair? How was it fair to make Castiel, who was still getting used to human emotions, feel guilty over something that Dean himself was feeling as well?

Dean decided to man up. None of this made sense. Angels didn’t make sense. Dean’s blatant attraction to a male didn’t make much sense either, but it was there, and it was _real_. And so, Dean felt obligated to be _honest_.

“Yeah… Same here, Cas.” Dean could feel his lower lip tremble lightly at the admission. “I feel pretty happy when I’m around you _too_.”

Both the mellow smile on Cas’ face and the softness in the angel’s eyes made it so that Dean couldn’t speak. And so Dean didn’t stop Castiel when he timidly reached over the table to touch Dean’s hand. He didn’t object either when Cas intertwined their fingers and squeezed.

They stayed like that for a little while, sitting in silence, comforted by the simple yet meaningful touch of their hands.

But there was always that ever-present feeling of guilt in the background that Dean was unable to shake. Cas wasn’t _his_ to keep. Angels belonged up in Heaven, and it was Dean’s job to get this angel home. Getting too attached was the stupidest thing he could ever do, and he was well aware that there was something else he should be doing instead.

“Cas…” Dean began, withdrawing his hand despite his reluctance to do so. “Do you mind if we visit someone tonight? Sam has found a woman named Pamela who might be able to tell whatever the hell it is that happened to you, and if we’re lucky she might even know how we can get in touch with the people upstairs.”

Castiel was accommodating, as always. “Of course… I suppose I need to figure out a way to get home. I _do_ miss my siblings…”

Dean didn’t miss how the smile that Cas gave him was a conflicted one that didn’t reach his eyes, but he knew that he had to do the right thing, even if the right thing _sucked_.

~*~*~

“I think this is it, Cas.” Dean turned off the engine, checking the address one last time.

 _Number fourteen_. This had to be it. The house was big and, in Dean’s opinion, looking a bit gloomy. At least there was some light coming from the room that Dean assumed was the kitchen, and he hoped this meant that the person they were looking for was home.

“Wouldn’t it have been polite to call first?” Castiel wondered out loud.

“Since when do you care about human etiquette?” Dean mocked his friend.

Castiel rolled his eyes in a way that was also very human, but he didn’t counter Dean’s statement.

“Who could’ve guessed, I’m starting to rub off on you.” Dean commented under his breath before he got out of the car.

They didn’t talk as they made their way to the front door, but the two of them were walking close enough for their elbows to brush with each step.

There was no doorbell, and so Dean knocked. They didn’t have to wait long; almost instantly there was the sound of a lock clicking, and the door opened to reveal a woman in her thirties with curly brown hair.  

She curiously eyed Dean, but when her gaze landed on Castiel, she whistled through her teeth, her eyes growing wide.

“ _Hallelujah_ … Well what do you know, an  _Angel of the Lord_. And a _handsome_ one at that.”

It was safe to say that Dean no longer doubted the woman’s abilities.

~*~*~

The house was less grim on the inside. The living room was actually kind of cozy, and full of furniture that didn’t quite match, giving it a homey feeling. Dean glanced at Castiel who was sitting beside him on Pamela’s worn out couch, the angel’s fingers restlessly fumbling with the mug of coffee that Pamela had offered him. Without thinking, Dean placed a hand on Castiel’s knee, giving the angel a small smile to assure him that it was all going to be okay.

Pamela watched them in silence from her armchair. She poured some sugar into her own coffee before she spoke up.

“I don’t think there’s any need for me to ask why you’re here.” She got right to the point, her eyes flickering to Castiel. “You’re a long way from home.”

“So it would seem.” Castiel agreed, putting down the coffee that was still too hot to drink. “But I have little memories of why or how I am here, and I haven’t the faintest clue how to get back.”

“We were hoping that maybe you could help us clear up a few things.” Dean added, letting go off Cas’ knee and folding his hands together, elbows resting on his knees as he waited for Pamela to start doing whatever voodoo she was going to do.

“I see… I might be able to do that. And seeing as we’ve got an angel right here, I might not even need the candles or other theatrics to get a vision.” Pamela mused, her eyes scanning Castiel again.

“Great.” Dean mumbled, not sure if he even meant it or not.

Pamela regarded Dean with a knowing look, but instead of sending any questions his way, she leaned forward, holding out a hand to Castiel.

Castiel hesitated, but took it.

The moment their hands touched, Pamela gulped, her eyes falling shut. Her breath came in short gasps, and Castiel looked concerned yet awed. She held on for a long minute, every now and then mumbling some words that Dean couldn’t understand.

With a final whimper she released Castiel’s hand, falling back into her chair as she tried to catch her breath.

“Whoa…” She panted after a long pause. “Now that is one _hell_ of a serious matter. Stuff you don’t wanna get in the middle of.”

In the moment that followed there was only the sound of Pamela’s heavy breathing.

“What does that mean?” Castiel asked before Dean could do it himself.

Pamela sighed, her elegant fingers rubbing both her temples. “There’s a limit to what I can do, and I don’t know all of the details. But apparently you, Castiel, are the key-element in a conflict between Heaven and Hell.”

Castiel narrowed his eyes at her, as if trying to make sense of what she’d just said.

“Care to elaborate?” Dean prompted with a pointed look at Pamela.

She shook her head. “There are major forces involved here, forces that will come to end me if I say too much. _Demons, angels_ … A silent war is going on, and I may have a gift, but I’m only _human_. If either side finds out that I interrupted in any way, there’s nothing I can do to defend myself.”

“Demons?!” Dean choked out, gaping at her in disbelief.

She laughed without any real humor behind it, then said something that reminded Dean of what Sam had said to him on the phone earlier that day. “You’re friends with an angel, but you have trouble believing that demons could exist too? Because believe it or not, _they do_ , and they’re up to _no good_.”

“But then how do _I_ fit into all of this?” Castiel asked while Dean was still trying to digest everything that he’d just learned.

The smile that Pamela directed at Castiel was sympathetic, but mostly sad. “You’re _special_ , Castiel. Or rather, you _became_ special when you fell to earth. Just as it was planned by the enemy…”

“Seriously?” Dean barked out a little harshly, feeling anxious at all of the disturbing things that he was hearing. “Would it _kill you_ to be a bit less cryptic?”

Again Pamela laughed with little emotion behind it, then earnestly nodded at Dean. “You hit the nail on the head there, Dean. I’m afraid this is all I can do for you boys without putting myself at risk. I can only pray that this won’t end the way I _think_ it will…”

~*~*~

“Did you know, Cas? About demons, I mean?”

Castiel’s head flew up at Dean’s sudden question. They hadn’t talked much since they’d left Pamela’s place, both too lost in thought. Dean turned the volume of the radio down and drove a little slower, so that he could concentrate on the conversation.

“I knew they existed, yes. I’m not aware of any war. Then again, she referred to it as a ‘ _silent war’_ , did she not?”

“Yeah, I think she did.” Dean replied as his memory replayed what Pamela had told them. “How many memories do you even have left? I mean, which parts _do_ you know?”

Castiel chewed his lip, contemplating.

“Only if you want to tell me, no pressure.” Dean added as he watched the forlorn look in Castiel’s eyes.

“It’s alright, I _want_ to tell you, Dean. It’s just that it seems as if my memories have been tempered with. Even when I try to focus on the ones I do still have, I get confused. There are flashes, as if certain parts are missing everywhere.”

“Well that sucks…” Was all Dean could say to that. “So why don’t you tell me about your most prominent memories then? The ones easiest to remember. It’s fine if they’re completely random.” He suggested.

Castiel briefly considered that, and out of the blue, his face lit up a little.

“I have an older brother, _Gabriel_. We get along well. He was the one I tried to contact when you found me, the night I fell. We’ve always had a strong bond, back then I was hoping that reaching out to him would still be possible.”

Dean did a double take; that name was ringing plenty of bells, Sam had mentioned it at Jo’s party.

“Whoa wait, Gabriel as in _the archangel_?” Dean verified.

“Yes… I have a lot of siblings, but I think I only recall the ones I often interacted with. I know I had a younger sister Anna of whom I was fond… I recall that I liked to read to her whenever I was free of my duties. But it seems that I can’t remember the things that truly matter. _The bigger picture_...” Castiel was brainstorming out loud now.

“Yeah well, if Pamela is right, that is no coincidence.” Dean pointed out. “Didn’t she mention the enemy _planning_ this?”

“She did say that.”

“So basically, that would mean that some upper level douchebag from Team Demon unleashed whatever creepy voodoo on you to use you as a pawn in one of their wicked games, right?” Dean reasoned.

“Yes.” Cas agreed again, his eyes turning distant as he slipped back into his thoughts. “Which leaves us with one vital question… _What part_ am I playing, Dean?”

They spent the remainder of the drive trying to look for plausible answers, only to find none. Once they got home, Castiel confessed that he was craving some sleep and he went straight to bed after the light late night snack that Dean had made him.

Dean’s mind was chaotic, thoughts spinning uncontrollably and making him restless. He sulkily accepted that he would never be able to catch any sleep with his head being _this_ full, and he ended up calling Sam. Seeing as Jess was working the night shift, Sam had no problems with Dean coming over for a quick beer or two.

~*~*~

“So you went to see Pamela, huh? Did she have anything useful to share?” Sam asked, handing Dean a bottle of beer before flopping down beside him on the couch.

The TV was on, but the sound was down and neither of them were really watching.

“She had plenty.” Dean answered darkly. “And if she’s right, I think that maybe it’s time we moved to another planet. Or another _universe_.”

“Do I _want_ to know?” Sam pried hesitantly.

Dean took a large swig of his beer, shaking his head. “You really don’t, Sammy. Actually, I came here to _not_ think about it for a while. I still have hope that she was talking out of her ass.”

The last part was a lie; There was no mistaking that Pamela’s prediction was probably spot on. Denial was a funny thing.

“So humor me, what’s new with you?” Dean changed the subject, waving a hand at his brother.

He could be imagining things, but Dean could swear that he saw Sam tense up.

“Nothing much…” Sam said, feigning nonchalance; Dean knew his brother well enough to detect when he was _lying_.

“Tell me anyway.” Dean insisted.

“Ah you know, same old same. Excited about becoming a dad, buying weird food for Jess in the middle of the night because she gets these cravings, lost my job…”

“Wait, you _what?_!” Dean exclaimed, spitting out his beer. “Why didn’t you say something?”

“Because I only found out today, Dean. And before you ask, it had _nothing_ to do with me. Apparently business hadn’t been going that great for a while, but my boss made the wonderful decision to not tell any of us about it until we actually hit rock bottom and he had to fire _everyone_.” Sam declared bitterly.

Dean’s stomach was gradually sinking at the words. Sam didn’t deserve this. He’d always worked hard and had been top of his class. He’d always given his job a one hundred percent, and this just wasn’t fair.

“Jeez man, that was a dick move.” Dean uttered. “But you’ll find something new, something _better_. You’re great at what you do, Sammy.”

“I guess…” Sam sighed, playing with the half-empty beer bottle in his hands. “Jess said that maybe I should start my _own_ law firm. Sometimes it scares me, the amount of faith she has in me.”

Despite Sam’s pessimism, Dean liked the sound of that idea. If anyone could pull it off, it was Sammy. Dean was with Jessica on this one, and he vowed then and there that he would help her push Sam in the right direction.

“Actually… I think she might be on to something.” Dean grinned sideways at his brother.

Sam ran a hand through his sloppy hair, scowling at Dean from the other side of the couch. “What, now you’re picking _her side_?”

“No, I’m picking _yours._ ” Dean corrected him. “I think you could really make it work, man. You know, focus on doing the thing you’re good at instead of ending up at another shitty company that doesn’t deserve you.”

“You’re being serious?” Sam questioned warily.

“I know, rarely happens.” Dean joked. “But I _am_ serious, all I’m asking you is to _think_ about it. Don’t dismiss her idea just yet, okay? Like it or not, let’s not forget that Jess is _right_ most of the time.”

Sam grumbled a defeated “fine” before getting up to fetch them another beer.

Dean smirked at his brother’s back.

It wasn’t that Dean was teaming up with Jess, except it totally was. Oh well, Sam could thank them later when he was the owner of a successful law firm. Dean also wasn’t above treating his younger brother to a well-deserved ‘I told you so’ once he pulled it off.

At the end of the day, that was what big brothers were for... 


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, new chapter. Seeing as most of you come from tumblr, I promised to add a warning for the explicit content. The porn is in this chapter. Also, some of you are very concerned with which dick goes where, so I'm warning you that this is bottom!Cas. If you don't like either porn in general or bottom!Cas; I put a break before the actual sex scene in this chapter happens, and after said scene ends. So everything between the breaks you should skip if either porn or bottom!Cas is something you dislike. Other than that, enjoy.

Dean quietly closed the front door behind him when he got home, not wanting to wake Castiel up. It was nearly one in the morning, and after his chat with Sam and a few beers, Dean felt somewhat calmer.

He tiptoed into the living room, but froze in his tracks when he saw that he wasn’t alone. Cas was sitting on the couch, writing something in the notebook that Dean had given him.

“Hey you.” Dean said tentatively as he made his way to the couch.

The angel lifted his chin, appearing to be surprised. “Hello, Dean.”

“I thought you were tired? Is everything alright?” Dean asked, sitting down on the couch’s armrest, the one closest to where Castiel was sitting.

“I _was_ tired, but there were too many thoughts in my head and I couldn’t sleep.”

“Yeah, I know that feeling, Cas.”

Castiel tapped the pen against his notebook, to draw Dean’s attention to it.

“I wrote down some more thoughts. Things that I remember, names of a few other angels...” He informed Dean.

Dean peered down at the book, seeing that aside from the familiar names ‘Gabriel’ and ‘Anna’, Castiel had also added the names ‘Balthazar’ and ‘Zachariah’.

“Do you remember anything about them?” Dean inquired.

The angel shrugged. “Nothing significant. Although the name Zachariah does give me an unpleasant feeling, but it’s impossible to tell if it’s even based on anything.”

“Well you’re trying, that’s the best you can do.” Dean simply said, hoping to soothe some of Cas’ worries.

He removed his gaze from the notebook, looking at the fallen angel instead. Castiel’s shoulders were hunched with tension, and Dean knew that it wasn’t just because Cas felt anxious in general. Dean rested a hand on Cas’ shoulder, stroking his thumb over the sore muscle.

“Why don’t you stop hiding them for a bit, huh? No need to put yourself in pain over those pretty feathers when it’s just the two of us.” Dean coaxed, angling himself so that he could put his other hand on Cas’ other shoulder, gently kneading them both at once now.

A happy noise slipped from Cas’ lips, and Dean smiled in victory. Dean didn’t need anything more to persuade the angel, for he barely had time to sit back when Cas abruptly manifested his wings.

They looked tousled, feathers sticking out here and there; Castiel had been hiding them a lot lately, and it showed. Dean sat down behind the angel again, reaching out a hand, but wavering.

“Can I _groom_ them?” He asked, making sure that he wasn’t overstepping any boundaries by assuming that it was okay to touch whenever, just because Castiel had given him permission that one time.

Castiel turned his head to make eye-contact, blue eyes wide and trusting.

“ _Please_ , Dean.” He murmured, all but batting his eyelashes at Dean.

Dean had no way of knowing whether or not Cas had any idea of how suggestive he’d sounded just now. Regardless; permission was permission, and even a stronger man than Dean would probably not have been able to resist such an offering.

“Yeah… Yeah okay, Cas.”

Castiel smiled a satisfied smile, then turned his head back and closed his eyes in anticipation as he waited for Dean to get the show on the road. It took Dean less than a second to bury his fingers in the warm, silky plumage, the feeling getting more and more familiar to him.

Dean smoothed out feathers here and there, but he also couldn’t resist gently massaging the cramped muscles of Cas’ back and shoulders. He alternated between putting the many primary and secondary feathers back in place, and rubbing the tension out of Cas’ stiff neck.

At first, Dean had been way too preoccupied to notice, but all of the sudden his ears registered the soft moans of pleasure that were tumbling from Cas’ lips in a steady stream. Dean clenched his jaw, trying to not be affected by the tantalizing sounds that the angel was making. It worked for a while; Dean tried to ignore Cas’ little ‘ _hmm_ ’ and ‘ _oooh_ ’ noises as best as he could, fully focusing on the wings. That was _until_ Dean’s name suddenly fell from Castiel’s mouth in a throaty whimper.

 _Oh shit._ Dean firmly closed his eyes, his hands no longer moving but instead limply resting on top of Cas’ shoulders. He needed a moment to come to his senses, or he would end up _jumping_ this angel rather than grooming him.

“Dean?”

When opening his eyes, Dean was immediately pinned down by the blue eyes that he both loved and dreaded.  

“Sorry… I uh, got _distracted._ ” Dean apologized weakly.

Castiel nodded, then angled his body towards Dean. He hid the wings in the process, creating more room on the couch. Dean watched as Castiel slowly licked his lips, which did nothing to make the situation any easier for Dean. That was also the exact moment that Dean observed something else; Cas’ eyes were closer to black than blue, pupils blown wide with what had to be _lust_.

 _Holy mother of Christ._ Cas was feeling it _too_. Dean shifted on the arm of the couch, discreetly readjusting himself because his jeans seemed entirely too tight at the moment. They gazed at each other, their faces so close that Cas’ breath tickled Dean’s lips.

There were a million ways in which Dean had pictured this, but what he hadn’t counted on was Cas’ never faltering politeness.

“Dean… I understand now, what I feel… Would you be very offended if I _kissed_ you?”

Dean laughed, and it sounded too loud in the quiet room.

“No... I would be offended if you _didn’t_ kiss me right now, Cas.” Dean confessed breathlessly. “That would kinda be a blow to my ego-”

Apparently, that was enough to release all of Cas’ inhibitions. Castiel surged forward before Dean could finish talking, knocking the breath out of both Dean and himself when their lips crashed together in a hungry, uncoordinated kiss. Dean moaned in relief because he was at last getting what he’d wanted for days now, and Cas gladly used that opportunity to lick into Dean’s mouth. From there on they found a better rhythm, finding that their mouths were perfectly fitting together like two pieces of a puzzle. Dean raked his fingers through Cas’ hair, messing it up even more in the process.

Somewhere in the back of his mind, Dean wondered where Cas had even learned to kiss like that, but his downstairs brain didn’t really care about that minor detail. Castiel’s hands were grabbing the front of Dean’s shirt, pulling him closer and down on the couch. Before long, Cas climbed right on top of Dean so that he could straddle him. The angel made sure that their lips stayed connected at all times, and Dean was thankful for that.

With their bodies pressed together now, Dean could feel that Cas _very much_ wanted this. Castiel rocked his hips to create some much needed friction, and Dean whimpered into that hot, wet mouth as they rutted against each other.

Eventually, Dean tried to break free to take a breath, and Cas permitted it, easily moving on to kiss along Dean’s jaw instead. He moved lower and lower, until he was peppering kisses along Dean’s throat, at some point stopping to gently suck on Dean’s pulse point.

All the while, their hard lengths were rubbing together, even though it was getting uncomfortable due to all of the fabric that was in the way. Dean’s erection was on the border of painful; he couldn’t remember a time when he had wanted someone _this much_.

Castiel took Dean by surprise when he suddenly suckled on Dean’s earlobe, then moaned Dean’s name, punctuated by another roll of their hips. Dean’s dick twitched at that sound, and he groaned as he pulled Cas impossibly closer to him, bringing their lips together once more.

Dean was trying to keep it together, but it was hard -pun definitely intended- with a very eager angel in his lap. He knew he had to say something though, to make sure that all of this was okay.

“Cas…” He panted, reluctantly pulling away from the kiss. “Look baby, fair warning, if you keep doing this… I’m going to have a hard time controlling myself.”

Cas blinked at him, a predatory look in the blue eyes that were clouded with nothing but desire.

“Good. Because I don’t want you to control yourself.” The angel stated confidently, pushing his hips into Dean’s again to get his point across. “I want you Dean...  _Please?_ ”

~*~*~

Dean was genuinely baffled that they had made it to the bedroom without tumbling down the stairs, just like he was shocked that they’d actually made it out of their clothes without coming in their pants. His head was swimming with the overwhelming scent of Castiel, and he hungrily gazed down at the now naked angel that was deliciously spread out in the middle of his bed, coyly looking up at Dean through hooded eyelids.

“Fuck, Cas…” Dean cursed at the sight of all that naked tanned skin and lithe muscle, just waiting for Dean to explore it.

“I think that’s the idea.” Cas shot back cheekily as he obscenely let his legs fall open; he was fully hard and already leaking precome.  

“Jesus Christ.” Dean blasphemed yet again as he crawled on top of Castiel.

When Dean dove in for a deep kiss, he experienced the delight of unlimited skin on skin contact with Castiel for the first time. Cas’ arms possessively wrapped themselves around Dean’s neck, making sure that he stayed as close as Castiel wanted him to while their lips urgently moved together.

It should have been terrifying to Dean, _unnatural._ He had kissed a boy or two back in the day when he was still in high school, usually under the influence of an entire bottle of whiskey, but it wasn’t exactly the same as consciously making the decision to have sex with someone of the male gender after barely two beers.

But Dean couldn’t care less. He lost himself in the sensation that was Cas, his hands traveling all over the angel’s body as they made out. Dean gasped in pleasant surprise when Castiel’s hand suddenly found Dean’s hard cock and lazily started stroking it. It felt good. _Too_ good. So good that Dean eventually had to drag Cas’ hand away before the pleasure could take him over the edge.

When Dean ended their kiss as well, there was a growl of protest from Castiel, but it was soon forgotten when Dean kissed his way down Cas’ body. Dean briefly paused at one of Cas’ nipples and at his belly button, but he was specifically fascinated by Castiel’s hipbones. Cas was trembling underneath him as Dean mouthed and sucked at the parts of Castiel that had captured his attention from the very start.

“Dean…” Cas whined, his hands grabbing at Dean’s hair as he attempted to pull Dean where he _truly_ wanted him.

Dean smirked up at him. “ _Patience_ , baby. I promise I’ll make it worth your while.”

Cas shot him an ominous glare, but it melted away the second Dean showed him some mercy and took the head of Cas’ weeping cock between his lips, tonguing the slit. Cas whimpered, and god did Dean love that sound. The angel’s thighs were trembling as he tried to get Dean to take him deeper, but that was not what Dean was planning. The last thing he wanted was for the fun to be over before it had a chance to even begin. That was; if Cas wanted the same thing that Dean wanted. Dean was about to ask, when Cas already began to beg.

“Dean please… Don’t tease, just _take_   _me_.”

Dean breathed in sharply at the filth coming from the angel’s mouth. _Oh yeah_ , Cas most definitely had watched some very interesting stuff on TV while Dean had been at work.

Dean croaked out a low “Sure, yeah okay.”

Cas looked pleased at that, and Dean tenderly placed a kiss against Castiel’s left hipbone before reaching for the bedside table to blindly search the drawer for some lube. His fingers at last closed around the bottle, and Cas bit his lip, clearly imagining what was coming next.

“Look, Cas… I have never done this before, not with a guy.” Dean admitted as he settled between Cas’ legs again. “Tell me if you want me to stop and I’ll stop, you got that?”

Castiel nodded, his big blue eyes regarding Dean shamelessly. “I will… I haven’t done this either.” He reminded Dean.

Dean took another deep breath, but something about Cas’ endless trust in him already made Dean feel calmer.

“Turn around, Cas. It’ll make it easier for me to get you ready.” Dean instructed.

“But I want to be able to look at you when we-” Cas began to sputter.

“Me too.” Dean promised him, knowing where Cas was going with this. “It’s just for preparation, to make sure that I have easier access so that I won’t hurt you.”

Cas frowned, but did as he was told, getting on his hands and knees. It was so different from what Dean was used to, but exciting all the same. Dean’s dick was _very_ interested in the sight before him, spilling more precome as Castiel displayed his ass to Dean as if it were an early birthday present.

There was a loud click as Dean opened the bottle of lube, and he lovingly massaged Cas’ ass cheeks with one hand as he spread the slick substance between the fingers of his free hand. He ran a dry thumb down the cleft of the angel’s ass, and the flushed, pink hole fluttered when Dean touched it.

The moan that Cas let out was downright pornographic, and Dean hadn’t even really started yet. This was going to be good _,_ he could already tell.

“I’m going to open you up now, try to _relax_ , baby.” Was the last warning that Dean gave him before slowly pushing a slick finger inside of Cas’ tight heat.

Dean was awestruck at the sight; Cas’ rim quivering around his finger, flushing an even darker shade of red as Dean intruded. He worked that single finger in and out of the angel, his free hand lightly stroking Cas’ ribs to comfort him.

“Ah, Dean… _More_.”

Cas was so eager for it, and if he kept this up, it was positively going to kill Dean.

Dean added a second finger, carefully pushing in and out. At the same time he pressed soft kisses to Cas’ spine to help distract him from the burn, but soon enough Castiel was pressing back on Dean’s fingers again, pleading for more.

A third finger slipped inside, and neither of them were prepared for what happened when Dean’s fingers went deeper than they had before. Cas cried out and shuddered; Dean grinned smugly because apparently he had found Cas’ prostate. He repeated the exact same movement, and Cas choked out an even louder cry, and with it, there was the rustle of _wings_.

Dean was stunned when he saw the glossy black wings unfurl, and Cas stilled completely.

Castiel turned his head, his eyes filled with apologies when he glanced back at Dean.

“I’m sorry, Dean. I… The pleasure caught me off guard. I shall try to make them-”

Dean loosely placed a hand over Cas’ mouth to keep him quiet, and shook his head. He was secretly thrilled that Castiel had displayed those pretty wings, even if it was by accident. They were a part of Cas, and Dean preferred for them to be there during this intimate act.

“Keep them out, Cas. Keep them out while we do this... I want you, _all of you.”_

Deciding that it was best to stop the conversation there instead of having an endless discussion, Dean thrust his fingers deep inside of Castiel again, and was overcome with more smugness when those wings trembled as Cas moaned and threw his head back in ecstasy.

There was no way Dean could resist rubbing against Cas’ prostate some more, and so he did, until his angel was a shuddering, sweating mess.

“Please, I need you.” Cas said, looking at Dean over his shoulder, voice raw and blue eyes piercing straight into Dean’s soul.

“Shhh, baby. I know, I need you too.”

Dean didn’t have the strength to draw it out any longer, and he gave Cas a tiny nod, gently stroking through the wings before he helped the angel turn over. Castiel was on his back again, wings spread out on either side of him. Dean grabbed one of the many pillows on the bed and placed it under Castiel’s lower back to make their position more comfortable.

“Are you sure?” Dean asked one last time.

Cas groaned, then wrapped his fingers around Dean’s cock and guided it down to _precisely_ where he wanted it, eliciting a whimper from Dean at the sudden touch. Dean pushed Castiel’s legs up, fully exposing the loosened hole that was now clenching around nothing. He suppressed a moan as he rubbed the head of his cock against Cas’ greedy entrance, wanting nothing more than to be inside, and for the two of them to be as close as they could possibly get. He slicked himself up as Cas watched his every move.

Entering Cas was unlike anything Dean had ever imagined. It was tighter, hotter, and more pleasurable than anything he had ever felt before. He watched in awe as Cas’ tight ring of muscle worked to let him in.

“You’re doing so good, angel.” Dean praised, gently stroking Cas’ sweaty hair away from his forehead as he slid in, inch by inch.

Huge blue eyes were never looking away from Dean, and it made Dean’s heart hammer against his rib cage in the best of ways. Once Dean was fully inside, he gave Cas some time to adjust, leaning in to softly kiss the angel while his fingers soothingly stroked through warm, trembling feathers.

“ _Move_ , Dean.” Cas suddenly huffed against Dean’s lips.

Dean didn’t need to be told twice, and he did just that. They moaned in unison when Dean experimentally pulled out and slammed right back in. Cas’ mouth formed a perfect ‘O’, but there were no signs of agony on his face, and so Dean did it again. This time, Cas was thrusting back against him, and Dean yelped in surprise.

It was easy then; they moved together as if they’d done this a thousand times before, as if they were meant to be doing this. Dean couldn’t believe how easy it was, how _natural._

On a particularly hard thrust, Cas arched his back beautifully, the wings twitching without the angel’s permission. And it was the most amazing thing that Dean had ever been part of. He kept rocking into Castiel, until his angel was gasping and whimpering, begging Dean to push him over the edge. Begging for _more._ Dean wasn’t even sure how he should give even more, but luckily, Cas helped him out with that.

With a strength and speed that was clearly inhuman, Cas flipped them over, so that Dean was on his back, Cas straddling him again and sinking back down onto Dean. The angel began to ride him, and Dean was blinded by pleasure.

Castiel’s hands searched for Dean’s, and their fingers intertwined, Cas using Dean to brace himself. Holding hands with someone while making love had always been way too intimate for Dean, but this time it was all he needed. Dean pushed in harder, trying to get the angle just right as his hand reached for Cas’ cock.

“You can do it, Cas.” Dean encouraged, voice hoarse as he stroked Cas to get him to his release. “Come for me, baby… Just let go.”

Blue eyes closed and wings flapped wildly as Castiel followed that order. He was clenching around Dean’s length as he cried out Dean’s name, coming all over Dean’s sweaty stomach. Seeing the wrecked angel above him was too much for Dean and he followed right after, spilling his release deep inside of Castiel while the angel was trying to catch his breath.

It was amazing. It was out of this world. It was more than any words in Dean’s woozy brain could accurately describe right now.

The best part was when Cas opened his eyes again, blue finding green, their unexplainable connection taking Dean’s breath away. Castiel’s saturated smile only added to the magic, and Dean goofily smiled back before his lover collapsed in his arms...

~*~*~

It had taken Dean years, but he finally got it. Better late than never; it was a phrase that his mother had often used to Dean’s annoyance, but it turned out to be very much true.

As Dean stared at the snoring angel in his arms, the morning sun caressing Cas’ face and making him seem even more divine, Dean at last understood what the problem had been with all the other people with whom he had tried to build a life. What the problem had been with Bela, or even Lisa.

He’d been physically attracted to them, and he had genuinely cared about them. But as Castiel nuzzled Dean’s neck in his sleep, Dean knew the difference with perfect clarity. He absentmindedly stroked the wings that Cas hadn’t bothered to hide after their lovemaking, reveling in the feeling of pure silk against his fingertips.

He had cared about people before, he had tried the relationship thing because it had been expected of him… But he had never really been _in love_. Not until now.

Castiel stirred in Dean’s embrace, mumbling something that Dean couldn’t decode.

“You awake, Cas?” Dean asked, mildly amused by the sleepy angel who grumbled something unintelligible, then buried his face against Dean’s chest to avoid the inevitable act of waking up.

“No…” Castiel’s voice was muffled against Dean’s skin.

Dean laughed softly, his fingers lightly playing with dark feathers. “You’re a terrible liar.”

There was another huff, but Cas did lift his head this time, squinting up at Dean.

“That’s more like it.” Dean murmured. “Hello there, gorgeous.”

Dean traced the pad of his thumb along Cas’ full bottom lip before leaning in for a chaste kiss.

Cas’ irritable expression melted into a droopy smile so fast that it was almost comical. Dean snorted, tenderly brushing the back of his fingers against Cas’ cheekbone. Castiel put his hand over Dean’s, fingers tangling, then rested their joined hands on top of Dean’s bare chest.

Dean brought up their hands to lightly kiss Castiel’s knuckles, when his eyes fell on something that he hadn’t noticed up until now.

“What’s with the ring you’re wearing, Cas?” He asked, rubbing his thumb against the simple band that was made out of black and silver. “Do you remember the story behind that?”

Castiel’s eyes darted to the ring as well. “Oh… I’m not sure… I know I already had it when I fell, but I can’t remember where I got it, or what it means.”

They shared a brief look.

“It’s the only thing I have left of Heaven, I suppose... So I’m glad I didn’t lose it. I’m assuming a family member gave it to me, or maybe all angels have one. It makes me feel less disconnected.”

As Dean gazed into those blue eyes, he had to admit that this was something that he could relate to, more than anything. His mind wandered to his father’s ring, and his mother’s necklace. Jewelry that he had kept for years and years, if only to have the illusion of them still being with him in a way.

“Yeah… Yeah, I get it.” Dean muttered as he held Castiel’s body just a bit tighter to his own.

But as much as Dean could understand, he felt a bit bitter as he glanced at the ring one more time. The thing had instantly become a thorn in his sight, because to Dean, it was yet another sign that Cas didn’t belong here on earth. Didn’t belong _with Dean_ , and that it would be selfish to keep Castiel here, instead of finding a way to get the angel home. 


	9. Chapter 9

They fell into an easy routine as the week went on. Leaving for work in the mornings was hard on Dean sometimes, because it meant leaving Castiel behind, but he got used to it. Sadly, the world wasn’t put on hold merely because Dean Winchester happened to be in love for the first time in his life, and everyday business had to go on. Besides, it _did_ mean that Dean had something to look forward to once a long day of work was done.

It was ironic; Dean oh so clearly remembered how he had taunted Sam when he and Jess had just gotten together, because Jess had been all that his little brother had talked and thought about twenty-four seven. And now, so many years later, Dean could see that Sam hadn’t been exaggerating. He could see that it was actually possible to be _that_ in love with someone. If he had known then what he knew now, maybe he wouldn’t have been so hard on Sammy…

Dean’s phone buzzed. It was late in the afternoon, an hour before the store was closing. It was a quiet moment, and Dean felt no shame whatsoever as he retreated to the office to text back his boyfriend. _Boyfriend_. Horrible word, but Dean had yet to come up with a better term to refer to his and Cas’ relationship.

_‘Hello Dean. Sam visited this morning to drop off some books about demons and mythology that might be useful. I also tried to do some research on your laptop like you taught me, but I’m not very good at it.’_

Castiel and technology… Not a great combination, but Dean knew that the angel was learning. Dean had given Cas one of his old cellphones so that he could message Dean if he wanted to, and Cas was getting better at it every day.

_‘That’s okay, you’ll get better at it. Nice of Sammy to drop by. You doing okay?’_

Dean hit ‘send’, smiling despite himself.

_‘I’m fine. I do miss you. Is that weird?’_

“Weird, _my ass._ ” Dean mumbled to himself, feeling a stupid ache in his chest that had everything to do with being apart from Castiel.

_‘Miss you too. Tell you what, you know where the store is, right? It’s only a twenty minute walk from my house, why don’t you come over here? It’ll be like picking me up.’_

A reply came right away.

_‘I think I would enjoy that. I’ll see you soon.’_

The smile on Dean’s face was making his cheeks hurt. Jo stepped into the office, catching him in the middle of his swooning. Flour was covering her clothes, and even her face. Her blonde hair was pulled into a messy bun.

“Ha! Let me guess! Texting the _boyfriend_ again _?_ ” Jo accused, raising her eyebrows at Dean.

“Shut up, Jo.” Dean groaned, picking up a pencil from the desk and throwing it in her direction without putting any real force behind it.

She skillfully moved out of the way, smirking at Dean. “Oh my god! You didn’t deny it! He _is_ your boyfriend, isn’t he?”

“Can we not talk about this right now?” Dean asked, sighing as he got up from his chair. “I’m hardly used to the idea myself, okay? Let alone wanting to discuss it with my best friend.”

Jo shrugged as she brushed some flour off of her sleeve. “Whatever you say, Winchester. Just know that I’m happy that you’re happy. And Castiel is a real catch, obviously.”

“Yeah, he is.”

Dean pressed his lips together immediately after the word vomit had come out, but Jo was already clapping her hands excitedly. “Then don’t be a grump about it! I’m happy for you guys, seriously.”

“Awesome.” Dean said brusquely, rolling his eyes at his friend.

“Hold the sarcasm.” Jo warned as she rubbed her face in an attempt to remove more flour. “Hey, do you mind if I leave a bit early? Everything’s already cleaned up in the kitchen, and the orders for tomorrow are prepared. We’re moving Adam’s stuff to my place today.”

“Go ahead. Pretty sure that if I force you to stay here for another hour, you’ll just keep pestering me about Cas anyway.” Dean answered dryly before he walked around the desk and playfully brushed some white powder off of Jo’s chin.

“You betcha.” Jo chirped, swatting away Dean’s hand. “See you tomorrow, Winchester. And say hi to _the boyfriend_ from me.”

As she skipped out of the office, Dean made a mental note to kick her ass _. Soon_.

~*~*~

A young girl was about to leave the store when Castiel entered. Dean grinned at the angel after saying goodbye to his customer.

The door of the bakery closed with a smack, letting them know that it was just the two of them now.

Cas had been here before, but Dean could still see the azure eyes widen in delight as they fell on the counter, checking out all of the sugary sweetness.

“Hey there.” Dean welcomed Castiel, waving his hand as a sign that Cas was allowed to join him on the other side of the counter.

Castiel smiled brightly, and before long he was already wiggling himself into Dean’s arms, resting his chin on Dean’s shoulder, nuzzling the side of Dean’s neck.

“Somebody’s missed me.” Dean teased, his hands rubbing up and down the angel’s back as he planted a kiss in Castiel’s hair. “Don’t tell anyone, but I kinda missed you too.”

They stayed in their embrace, and Dean was perfectly fine with that. Even if the world stopped turning this instant, Dean wasn’t sure if he even cared, not as long as they could stay like this for all eternity.

And so it was Castiel who pulled out of the hug first. It was also Castiel who grabbed both of Dean’s hands, looking at Dean with the kind of intensity in his eyes that reminded Dean of what they had, and about how it was _real._

“I... I did a lot of thinking today, Dean.” Castiel whispered, lowering his gaze. “And I know that you might not want to hear this…”

When Castiel paused in the middle of his confession, Dean placed a finger under Cas’ chin, aiming for eye contact and succeeding.

“Look, Cas... Whatever is on your mind, trust me, I want to hear it.” Dean assured the angel, cocking his head to urge Castiel.

“Alright…” Cas responded with a curt nod, his face earnest. “Dean Winchester… _I love you_. I love you with all that I am. And I’m sorry if it’s too soon, but I know what I feel, and I don’t want to hold it in any longer. _I love you_.”

Never before had anyone said those words to Dean. Okay, they’d been said to him before, back when he was still a child. Back when his mother Mary had still been around. But now… Castiel was offering those words to him, just like that. As if Dean was _worth_ something. Confirming that Castiel felt the same. Confirming that maybe, good things did happen every once in a while.

Dean had never been good with words, and he knew that he never would be. He was a true disappointment when it came to talking about emotions, even more so when talking about _love_ , because it was all so new to him. And so that left him with only one thing to do. To _show_ Cas how he felt. To show his angel that the feeling was mutual.

The kiss that followed was desperate, more hungry than any of the numerous kisses that they’d shared before. It was Dean trying to communicate that even though he wasn’t ready to say the word ‘love’ out loud yet, he _was_ feeling it.

Dean didn’t know if Castiel was getting that exact message, but Cas was fully on board with the make out session, eagerly working his tongue into Dean’s mouth, clinging to Dean while doing so.

Kissing someone was never going to be this good with someone else. _Being_ with someone was never going to be this good with _anyone,_ Dean was sure of it…

In hindsight, Dean thought that maybe he’d already distantly felt the eerie cold that was creeping up on them before they were rudely interrupted.

A rush of air and a sudden invasion of black smoke made the human and the angel flinch out of their physical love confession, both of them startled. There was the sound of a lock clicking, and the bakery went darker when the shutters of all the windows that surrounded them were closed at once. Dean grabbed Cas’ arm out of habit, feeling more than a little uncomfortable, but when the smoke cleared up, he recognized the figure standing before them.

It was the salesman who had promoted his fortune cookies to Dean. To Dean’s deep confusion, the man was smiling broadly while slowly clapping his hands as if applauding after watching an impressive theatre show.

“ _Crowley_?” That name was the only word that Dean could force out of his swollen throat.

“Bravo boys, _bravo_.” Crowley praised with a nod at Dean, then cocked his head at Castiel. “You had one task Castiel, and you did well. Congratulations on a job well done.”

Dean glanced at Castiel from the corner of his eye, but the angel looked as perplexed as Dean felt. Whatever job Crowley was talking about, clearly Cas hadn’t been in on it.

“What are you talking about?” Dean demanded, walking around the counter so that he could properly confront the intruder. “And what’s with the smoke? Are you a-”

“Demon.” Castiel provided in a flat voice as he protectively placed himself in front of Dean, shielding him from Crowley. “He’s a demon.”

Oh. The word that Dean had been going for was ‘magician’, but this probably made more sense.

Crowley dramatically raised his hands. “Guilty as charged. And not just _any_ demon. Crowley, _king of hell_ , it’s nice meeting you. But not to worry boys, I’m only here to collect what I need from the angel, then I’ll be on my way.”

“What do you want from  me?” Castiel quipped, taking another threatening step forward.

“You people sure do ask a lot of questions.” Crowley said exasperatedly. “Although, being curious is only _human_.”

Dean tried to subtly pull Cas back by his side, not trusting that this demon had any noble intentions, but Castiel refused to move. With Dean being the slightly taller one, it was easy to forget that Castiel was in fact the stronger one.

Crowley was searching the pockets of his coat now, and he fumbled something out of it, holding it up in front of them. It was a small vial made of glass, and inside was a weird substance that Dean had never seen before, radiating a peculiar light that was the brightest shade of blue. It made the glass of the counter beside them light up in an almost ghost-like glow.

Dean was clueless, but the same didn’t apply to Castiel.

“Is that-” Castiel started, and those two short words were dripping with anger.

Again, Crowley didn’t let him finish. “Your grace, yes. Or most of it, that is. You see, I’m still missing a tiny part, the _most important part_. Which is why I’m honoring you with a visit.”

Crowley produced a small knife seemingly out of nowhere, and Castiel reflexively stumbled backwards, as did Dean. Dean’s back hit the wall, and he accidentally knocked down the painting hanging there as his hand reached for Castiel’s hand, trying to pull the angel back even further in his panic.

“Don’t be dramatic, if you cooperate, there’s no need for me to kill you. Not directly at least.” Crowley said conversationally, as if they were discussing the weather. “None of you move. Oh wait, I don’t have to ask, I can simply _make you_.”

Crowley lifted a hand, and all of the sudden, Dean was pinned against the wall, his arms and legs restrained by invisible bonds. Judging by the look on Castiel’s face, Cas was experiencing the same thing.

“Leave him alone, you smoke-coughing _son of a bitch_!” Dean shouted as Crowley placed the tip of the knife to Cas’ throat.

“Feisty.” Crowley muttered, but otherwise didn’t pay attention to Dean.

Cas glared daggers at Crowley but kept his lips tightly pressed together. Dean screamed “No” when the knife carved into Cas’ skin, but to Dean’s bewilderment, the cut that Crowley made was small and shallow, by no means meant to kill the angel.

Dean couldn’t help but be momentarily fascinated when Crowley retracted the knife, then took the vial and opened the lid. A small stream of that same bright blue substance was flowing from the cut on Cas’ throat, making its way into the glass container.

With a satisfied smirk, Crowley screwed the lid back on, triumphantly waving the vial in front of their faces. That’s when Dean detected a slight difference. Before, the substance had been blue in its entirety, but right now, there was a bright pink spot at the very core.

“What did you do?” Dean hissed, looking from the Crowley to Castiel, who was also eyeing the vial with a confused frown.

“ _I_ did nothing. But Castiel here did something, something I _needed_ him to do.” Crowley replied cryptically. “You’re lucky I enjoy a good love story, I can afford another five minutes to share this one with you boys. After all, Castiel here will go down in history as the angel who unleashed hell on earth, simply because he has too much heart. A true _legend_ , if you will.”

“What are you going to do with my grace?” Castiel asked bleakly, pulling at the invisible restraints even though it was useless.

Dean didn’t expect the demon to answer that question at all, so he was surprised when Crowley responded without beating around the bush.

“Close the gates of Heaven.” Crowley revealed in a pleasant tone, dark eyes darting between Dean and Castiel. “Close the gates of Heaven, so that no feathered dicks will get in the way of my business any longer. You see, the only reason this planet isn’t crawling with demons, is because of bloody angels keeping the balance since the beginning of time. Good versus evil, dark versus light, bla bla bla. With the gates of Heaven closed, we can _really_ get a party started here.”

“But what does that have to do with _me?_ ” Cas pried in a clipped tone.

“You? You’re the star of the show, of course!” Crowley chuckled, petting Cas on the shoulder. “I’ll have you know that closing the gates of Heaven isn’t exactly a picnic. When I got my hands on that angel tablet, it took my prophet three bloody years to even translate it. Lucky for him, I can be a patient man sometimes… When the job was done, it turned out that the first steps to closing the gates were a piece of cake. But of course there is always that infamous last step, nearly impossible to accomplish. That one rare ingredient you need, the one that’s messing with your carefully constructed plans. The grace of an angel-”

“Why him? Why this angel?” Dean cut in, getting sick of listening to Crowley’s derailed train of thought, and feeling an irrational anger at the thought of someone hurting Castiel on purpose.

Crowley rolled his eyes. “You didn’t let me finish, Dean Winchester. I was going to say; the grace of an angel, _in love with a human_.”

Castiel’s eyes widened, his cheeks turning pink at that new piece of information. When Dean caught the angel’s gaze, Cas quickly averted his eyes. Dean felt a lump in his throat that he couldn’t swallow down.

“You didn’t do all the work though, I had to set the right mood. You know… Light the candles, create the right environment, do the _matchmaking_ …” Crowley mused.

Dean suddenly felt sick to his stomach. _The fortune cookies_.

“Y-you did something to those freaky cookies of yours, didn’t you?” Dean accused, suddenly terrified that everything that he’d felt over the past week had been fake. “Like some sick _love potion_?!”

At that, Crowley mockingly laughed at Dean. “No no, dear boy. The cookies were merely an _excuse_ to drop by. I had to meet my target, to see if there were going to be any complications before I put my plan in motion. When you shook my hand, I knew all there was to know about you, just like that. I needed an angel in love with a human, not an angel forced to be in love with one. Free will and all that nonsense… Love doesn’t count when it’s not _real_ , and I couldn’t take that chance.”

“But wait, why… Why was _Dean_ your target?” Castiel questioned, curiosity clearly taking the upper hand now, for he no longer sounded all that angry.

Dean couldn’t deny that he longed to hear the answer to that one himself.

“That was not my choice.” Crowley said with an indifferent shrug at Castiel, his fingers still playing with the bottled grace that he was holding. “I knew what I needed to find; an angel in love with a human. I requested the help of one of my more talented witches, to see if such an angel existed. She had to disappoint me and tell me no, but on her search she did found something else, something rare but _useful_. An angel, with _a soul_. Which meant, that this angel could feel the _human kind_ of love, bringing me one step closer to what I needed.”

“But if you didn’t force it, how could you have known that I would…” Cas spoke, then paused, shyly peeking at Dean before proceeding. “That I would… _Love_ Dean?”

Dean felt his stomach contract as their eyes met; he wanted this thing between them to be real more than anything, but he was currently having a ton of doubts.

“That was one of the simpler parts, to be quite fair.” Crowley clarified airily. “I had found an angel with a soul, and I wanted that angel to fall in love, but since I couldn’t force it, I had to get _creative_. The solution that my witch came up with was so obvious, I couldn’t believe I hadn’t thought of it _myself._ In order to speed things up… All I had to do was to find said angel’s _soul mate_ , and all it took was an easy locator spell to find Green Eyes here. The rest is history… The two of you falling in love was inevitable from the moment I threw you together with a little help from your backstabbing brother Zachariah who wanted rid of you. But credit where credit is due; you love birds got to it a lot sooner than I would’ve expected. Major bonus points, saved me a lot of time.”

As Crowley regarded them with a toothy grin, Dean was too busy processing everything to even be upset. The same couldn’t be said for Castiel, who was wildly tugging at the restraints now.

“Zachariah was in on this?! How come I don’t remember any of that? About how I got here? It was _you_ messing with my memories, wasn’t it?” Castiel exclaimed, fury in his blue eyes as he raised his voice at the demon. “You made me forget about my family, my life, _my cause_!”

“I had to.” Predictably, there was no trace of guilt or sympathy in Crowley’s tone, despite him claiming that he’d had no choice in the matter. “If I hadn’t, you would’ve tried to go home. You would’ve worried and probably would’ve kept trying to contact your obnoxious brother _Gabriel,_ who has already gotten in my way more times than I can count. What I truly _needed_ you to do, was to stay in place and _fall in love_. Which is why I took most of your grace as well, so that you couldn’t fly off or abuse _Angel Radio_.”

“Why didn’t you take it _all_?” Cas challenged Crowley through gritted teeth.

“Because it would’ve been _pointless,_ Castiel. You would’ve been _human,_ so I left you with just enough grace to make sure that it was still _an angel_ falling in love. And you played your part well. All I had to do was set up the scene, and rearrange some memories. Oh, and give you _that ring_ you’re wearing.” Crowley was more than a little cocky now. “Angel warding signs are engraved on the inside, so that your feathered friends who cared enough wouldn’t come looking for you.”

Dean’s eyes strayed to the ring on Cas’ finger, the one that they’d discussed a couple of days ago, after they had slept together for the first time. Oh how wrong Cas had been about it, because the ring didn’t symbolize his past or his family; it was yet another trap.

 _Warding signs_ … They’d kept Castiel’s family from finding their missing angel.

And that’s when it hit Dean. He vaguely heard how Crowley was spilling more confessions to Castiel, but it gradually became background noise to Dean. The thing he was focusing on right now, was another thing that Cas had told him earlier that week. Angels could hear _the prayers_ of humans. Granted, they probably didn’t answer _every_ prayer, but Dean was human, and he was sure that one angel would be particularly interested to hear about what Dean had to share.

He knew he had to do something, _anything_. There was no guarantee that Crowley wasn’t going to kill them with a snap of his fingers once he was done here, and on the off chance that this demon had mercy on the both of them, the entire planet would probably be one giant deathtrap anyway once the gates of Heaven were sealed.

Dean closed his eyes, shutting out Crowley, Castiel, and the familiar bakery, so that he could think straight. He felt silly for doing this, but he knew that it was worth a shot, and that it was possibly their _only_ shot to save the planet from impending doom.

_‘I’m… I’m praying to the angel Gabriel. This is Dean Winchester, and I know you don’t know me, but I’m a friend of your brother Cas… I mean Castiel. You might be looking for him, and he’s right here with me. We’re in big trouble, a demon by the name of Crowley took your brother’s grace to close the gates of Heaven and I sure as hell hope… Oh shit, did I just say hell? Oh god, my bad… And now I said shit… Look, forget what I said man, I was just hoping that maybe you could give us a little hand here-’_

Dean wasn’t able to finish his silent prayer, because a bright flash of light forced its way through Dean’s closed eyelids. His eyes flew open, and the first thing he noticed was that he had control over his body again.

The next thing that he became aware of, was Castiel rushing over to him, burying himself into Dean’s side, his arms snaking around Dean’s waist as if trying to protect him.

And the third thing that caught Dean’s attention… Was a guy with dirty blond hair and honey-colored eyes, who had appeared right in the middle of the room. The guy was clicking his tongue, glancing at Crowley as if the demon were a mere stain on his shoe.

Crowley looked very annoyed, as far as Dean could tell.

“Bollocks… _Archangels_.” The demon dejectedly muttered under his breath.  

“Gabriel!” Castiel called out the name, relieved. “How did you find us?”

Dean saw how Cas’ wide eyes settled on his brother. His angel brother. His _archangel_ brother.

“Your boyfriend sent me a prayer.” Gabriel grinned, winking at Castiel. “Got yourself into trouble again, huh Cassie? It’s fine, nothing compared to that time when you nearly stepped on that fish...”

None of that made any sense to Dean, who was flabbergasted yet again when two other figures appeared beside Crowley in a bright flash of blue light. There was a male with short, blond hair, and a female with dark curly hair and blue eyes, much the same as Castiel’s. Gabriel exchanged a prolonged look with the female, as if they were silently communicating.

When Gabriel snatched the vial from Crowley’s hands, for some reason Crowley didn’t fight him. After a closer examination, Dean noticed the solid handcuffs that had appeared around the demon’s wrists without Gabriel even moving a finger. Strange symbols were engraved in them, but Dean didn’t recognize any of it.

“Take him away.” Gabriel commanded in a bored tone as Crowley struggled against the two angels that had captured him, cursing in the process and throwing threats at both Castiel and Gabriel.

There was absolute silence after the two angels and the king of hell disappeared with the rustle of wings, except for the soft humming of the counter’s cooling system that served to keep the pastries fresh. Gabriel took his time looking around, absorbing his surroundings. With a wave of his hand, the shutters that had been closed by Crowley flew open again, daylight streaming back in.

Dean was absolutely stunned when the archangel addressed him first.

“Have to say that I’m impressed, _Dean-o_. You’re a good man, and _clever_. You’ve saved my brother, and probably the world as we know it.”

Gabriel’s words marked the point where it all became too much for Dean; Cas holding on to Dean as if Dean was the center of the universe, while a freaking _archangel_ grinned down at them with a pleased smile after saving them from an actual _demon_. It was all freaking _insane_ , and Dean’s brain went haywire for a second.

He clutched at Castiel, and Cas held him tighter, whispering into Dean’s ear as Dean hid his face against the angel’s neck.

“You’re alright, Dean. It’s all going to be fine. I’m so proud of you for doing what you did. I’m proud of you for figuring it out.”

It was enough for Dean. Cas’ voice, grounding him. He couldn’t be bothered to care about anything else. Not about Heaven, or hell, or angels, or demons. All that mattered was the one angel currently comforting Dean. The angel with a soul, who had chosen to love him of all people… Without feeling ashamed of it, Dean Winchester for once in his life felt like he was _good enough._


	10. Chapter 10

Eventually, Gabriel loudly cleared his throat, reminding Dean that they weren’t alone. Dean let go of Castiel, meeting Gabriel’s eyes and giving him a bashful smile.

“Well isn’t that heartwarming?” Gabriel teased, wiggling his eyebrows at his younger brother.

“Oh shut it, Gabriel.” Castiel grumbled, but the words lacked real aggression.

Dean smiled; it reminded him of how he and Sam often bickered.

“Anyway, as much as I need to have a talk with my little brother here _,_ I have some Crowley business to take care of first.” The archangel made a sour face as he said the demon’s name. “I’ll be back in a few hours, because clearly there are some things that need discussing.”

“But my grace…” Castiel trailed off, not finishing whatever thought he was having.

Gabriel sighed, holding up the vial and studying it with narrowed eyes. “I’ve seen Crowley’s thoughts… If that tablet is right, your grace is now a weapon of mass destruction if it ends up in the wrong hands, Cassie. Doesn’t mean you can’t have it back though, but we’ll have to write down some _safety rules_. Yet another reason why we need to _talk_. Which _we will_ , give me two hours, until then, I’ll hold on to it.”

Castiel didn’t fight his brother on it, and was rewarded for it with a wink.

“By the way, Dean-o... You have a lot of goodies here that make my sugar-loving heart beat faster, hope you don’t mind if I take something for the road.”

Gabriel eyed the silver plate on top of the counter, where one single fortune cookie was left. He shrugged, snatched the cookie, then disappeared with the fluttering sound of wings.

Dean’s eyes fell on the small piece of paper that hit the floor in the exact same place where Gabriel had been seconds ago. He kneeled down and picked it up.

_‘Someone dear to you must follow their own path. Love means letting go.’_

The words were like a stab to the heart. Dean knew where this was going, it was only logical…

“Are you alright, Dean?”

The weight of Castiel’s hand on his tensed shoulder brought him back to reality. He crushed the strip of paper in his fist, then got up to his feet and smiled at the angel. Or _human_ , at least for now.

“Yeah… Never better, just trying to let all of this sink in.” Dean lied. “Would you mind another hug? Because I could kinda use one.” He added, trying to sound lighter now.

It turned out that Castiel didn’t mind; he pulled Dean in for another embrace without a word. Dean carefully placed his chin on Cas’ shoulder, trying to keep his tears at bay. He had gotten all too used to this feeling. The feeling of _home._ A little voice in the back of his mind warned him to not get _too hooked_ on that particular feeling.

~*~*~

“Seriously, you guys are kinda making my head spin here.” Sam complained before taking a sip of his beer. “I mean… angels, _demons_? I’m not sure if I’ll be able to even sleep tonight.”

The three of them were sitting around Dean’s kitchen table, where Dean and Castiel had just shared their story with a now rather baffled-looking Sam.

“Trust me, Sammy… I was there to see it with my own two eyes, and my head is _still_ spinning.” Dean admitted.

Sam looked a bit pale. He didn’t say anything, treating himself to another large gulp of beer instead.

“If it is any consolation, I’m an angel, and even _I_ have trouble wrapping my head around what’s been going on.” Castiel said, offering Sam a tentative smile.

In the short silence after that, Dean felt how Castiel’s hand found his under the table. Dean intertwined their fingers, and when he chanced a look at Castiel, sure enough Castiel was smiling at him. Dean had grown to love that smile more than anything in the entire world, and for a moment, Dean felt content, almost weightless.

Sam, sitting across from them, seemed oblivious to the hidden display of affection.

“Alright, so… Correct me if I’m wrong, but basically we’re waiting for Cas’ brother to show up now?” Sam questioned.

Castiel confirmed Sam’s statement with a tiny nod.  He was about to say something too, when as if on cue, the sound of wings echoed through Dean’s kitchen. Sam nearly fell off his chair, and Dean barely succeeded at not laughing at that.

“And what a brother it is.” Gabriel grinned down at the three men, smiling around something in his mouth that was unmistakably a bright, red lollypop. “Sorry to interrupt your little get-together, but I have to borrow my little brother for a bit.”

Castiel got up from his chair without hesitation, and Dean squeezed his hand one last time before releasing him. Sam proceeded to stare at Gabriel as if he was seeing a ghost.

“Oh come on, don’t give me that look, big boy. Never seen an archangel before?” Gabriel teased with a cocky smile in Sam’s direction as he put a hand on Cas’ shoulder. “We’ll be back.”

Dean and Castiel had a chance to exchange one last look before the two angels disappeared, leaving nothing behind but a gush of wind.

As the two of them stared at each other in silence, Sam’s mouth was hanging open in a way that was almost funny. The first thing to come out of that mouth was not what Dean had expected, and definitely not something that he’d been prepared for.

“So… You and Castiel, huh?” Sam raised his eyebrows at Dean, his tone thick with implications.

They’d conveniently left out the parts of the story that included Cas’ love for Dean being the key, but Sammy, being the smartass that he was, had clearly jumped to his own conclusions.

Denial was on Dean’s mind, not even because he was ashamed of his feelings for Castiel, but because part of him was too scared to confess them out loud when maybe all of this was only temporary. Too scared that he was going to lose Cas, because the angel had his own home, and it sure as hell wasn’t here with Dean.

But this was Sam. Dean had never in his life lied to his brother, and he didn’t plan on starting today.

“Look… I know it’s soon, and maybe a little insane, but I... I mean, this probably doesn’t make any sense to you, but I think _I love him,_ Sammy.” It was a whisper, nothing more.

The quiet kitchen allowed Sam to hear Dean’s admission despite the lack of volume, but the younger Winchester hardly looked surprised.

“I figured… And I could go and tell you that falling in love with an angel is a pretty bad idea but… I haven’t seen you this happy in… well, _ever_.” Sam responded, his fingers toying with the now empty bottle of beer. “At the end of the day, that’s what counts, right?”

They traded a smile, and Dean was already turning Sam’s words over in his mind. The truth behind them made Dean feel irrationally hopeful for a brief moment. They loved each other, and in many ways completed each other. That was what mattered… Dean hoped that it would be enough in the end.

~*~*~

As hard as Dean was trying to focus on the movie that they were supposed to be watching, he couldn’t. The room was by no means chilly, but the fallen angel in his arms felt rather cold. Dean could even feel the occasional shiver run through Cas’ body.

They were sprawled out on the couch, Dean’s back against the armrest, Cas half on top of him. Their chests were pressed together, and Cas’ cheek was resting against the exact place where Dean’s heart was beating.

Castiel had kindly asked Dean to give him some time before he shared whatever it was that Gabriel had discussed with him, but Dean was getting impatient. He wasn’t blind; Castiel was avoiding the topic for a reason. Besides, the depressed look on Cas’ face said it all, as did the way in which he’d been systematically avoiding Dean’s eyes ever since he’d gotten back from his little meeting with Gabriel.

Dean was slowly going out of his mind, his own thoughts driving him crazy, and he sighed noisily to get Cas’ attention. When Castiel’s eyes stayed glued to the screen of the television, Dean finally opened his mouth.

“Cas?” He murmured, tentatively rubbing a hand up and down between Castiel’s shoulder blades.

No reply.

“Look, whatever it is your brother said… I think we need to talk about it, because I can see that you’re upset.” Dean tried again. “You can tell me _anything_ … You know that, right?”

Blue eyes were peeking up at him at last, reluctantly so.

“Please?” Dean added hopefully now that Castiel was at least no longer avoiding him completely. “I can’t make you feel better if you don’t tell me what the problem is. And honestly… I’m kinda freaking out here.”

There was a silence that seemed endless, but Dean didn’t look away, and neither did Cas. The softness in Castiel’s eyes was the only thing assuring Dean that, whatever was going on, Dean wasn’t the cause of Cas’ misery.

Just as Dean was about to accept that Cas wasn’t going to talk anytime soon, the angel suddenly elaborated.

“Gabriel told me that I had to make _a choice,_ Dean… He offered me a couple of days to decide.” He declared somewhat briskly, pushing himself up and away from Dean, sitting a little straighter.

Dean did the same, mimicking Cas, sensing that something highly unpleasant was about to be brought up. Nonetheless, he kept his face neutral, putting a gentle hand on Cas’ knee to make peace with the distance that was between them now.  

“Alright, a choice… What choice, Cas?”

For all Cas’ face gave away, he might as well have been about to confess a murder. His eyes anxiously darted down to Dean’s hand on his knee, then back to Dean’s face.

“My grace...” He whispered. “It’s a _liability_. Gabriel did his research, and the grace of an angel that can feel actual love in its purest form… It’s rare, an ingredient that can be used against our kind in many ways.”

Dean didn’t quite know how to react to that new information, and he pushed for more details, so that he could understand the consequences. “Alright… So what does that mean? What’s that choice you mentioned?”

Cas moved, and it happened so fast that Dean was taken by surprise. All of the sudden Cas was back in his arms, burying his face against Dean’s neck, wrapping his arms around Dean’s waist in some kind of death grip, as if some invisible force had brought them back together. As good as it felt having Castiel close again, the sudden absence of eye contact made it even harder for Dean to weigh the situation.

“I can have my grace back, Dean… But I would have to stay in Heaven, _forever_. I will be safe there, without having to worry about someone coming after me to take what is now a powerful weapon.” Castiel’s voice was small, almost fragile. “Visiting earth would be out of the question… I would be a walking target, every stray demon that makes it to earth will be looking for me.”

Castiel’s breath washed against Dean’s neck, raising goose bumps there. Dean quickly did the math, hiding his face against Cas’ hair to stop himself from talking just yet. No visits to earth, not _ever._ Meaning that Dean would _never_ see his angel again. The thought was unbearable. Dean’s hands unconsciously pulled Cas closer, as if the other man could slip away at any second if Dean didn’t hold on.

“Or?” Dean whispered against Cas’ temple when he could control his voice again, remembering that Castiel had told him that it was a choice, and wondering what the other option was.

Another silence, during which Dean’s eyes flickered to the TV, even though he wasn’t seeing anything aside from several colors, mixing into one big blur. It took him a while to realize that it were the tears in his eyes that kept him from seeing clearly.

“Or…” Cas eventually mumbled into his ear. “Gabriel offered to keep my grace safe for me, but it means I would have to stay here… To stay _human_.”

Dean’s blood turned cold as he got the picture that Castiel was painting.

“Gabriel restored my memories… I remember now, everything. _Everyone_. My brothers, my sisters… My life before falling to earth.”

The simple act of breathing became difficult for Dean. This meant that Castiel had to choose. _Staying_ , or _leaving_. Being an angel again, or embracing his humanity. Never seeing Dean again, or being apart from his family from now on.

The selfish part of Dean immediately wanted to beg Cas to _stay_. To pick humanity. To pick earth. To pick _Dean_.

But then he thought about Sammy. About Jo and Charlie. About Bobby and Ellen, practically his family. People that meant tons to him, people he loved dearly. People that he wouldn’t simply leave behind, not without putting up some sort of fight. Which is why he would be a downright jerk to ask the same thing from Castiel. Not to mention, Cas would lose _his wings_ , his _powers,_ his _home_. He couldn’t ask an actual angel to give up everything for the one insignificant human that he’d only just met, soulmate or not. Dean knew he wasn’t worth it, and so he wasn’t going to do what his heart so desperately wanted him to do.

More tears spilled out as Dean gripped Cas tighter. Dean didn’t know what Cas _needed_ to hear, but it took him a while to force out the words that he knew Cas _deserved_ to hear.

“It’s up to you, baby… It’s all up to you.” He whispered before pressing another kiss to the top of Cas’ head, voice shaky. “It’s _your_ decision.”

They stayed like that, neither of them moving for a while, because it was less terrifying than actually facing one another. Dean pretended not to notice Castiel’s silent sobbing against his shoulder, and in return, Cas pretended not to notice Dean’s tears that were still falling in steady streams.

Words that Dean had read earlier that day suddenly wormed their way back into his mind. ‘ _Someone dear to you must take their own path. Love means letting go.’_

He swallowed thickly. In hindsight, all of those idiotic cookies had been on point. He had to do the right thing. He couldn’t be selfish, not when it came to someone as selfless and loving as Cas.

The ‘I love you’ that he wanted to give Castiel got stuck in his throat once again. It was only going to complicate things...

~*~*~

Both exhausted after that day-from-hell, they went to bed early. Dean snuggled close to Castiel, and just for now, everything was back to normal. Dean tried to appreciate it, even though he couldn’t shake the empty feeling that was nagging at him, permanently lurking, and threatening to swallow him whole.

“Tell me what Heaven is like, Cas.” Dean lifted his head from where it was using Castiel’s chest as a pillow, shooting the angel-turned-human a smile that he hoped would tempt Cas into talking.

Castiel hesitated, but returned the smile and gave Dean a small nod.

“Alright…”

Dean waited patiently for Castiel to tell him whatever he was willing to share, doodling patterns on Cas’ chest with his index finger. Cas was still wearing Dean’s shirts to bed despite having his own wardrobe now, and Dean not-so-secretly loved it.

“Heaven is complicated.” Castiel mused, his hand rubbing Dean’s upper arm in a soothing manner. “There isn’t one Heaven, each soul creates its own reality there. You will view it as a familiar place where _you_ feel at home, surrounded by the ones that you love and have lost. You will relive happy memories, the ones you cherish most.”

Crazy as it was, that made some kind of sense to Dean, because how else would Heaven be a good place for _everyone?_ Dean briefly wondered what his would look like. Sammy would be there for sure, but at this point, he couldn’t really imagine a Heaven where he wouldn’t feel empty without Castiel being there too. But that was different; Cas wasn’t human. Well he was for now, but wasn’t meant to be.

“So what about you? How do _you s_ ee it? Can you see all of it?” Dean asked, his curiosity piqued.

Cas’ hand found Dean’s, and he laced their fingers together, resting their joined hands over his heart.

“Yes… I can see the bigger picture, travel to each reality. I can see the realities beyond, the ones that are only meant for angels to see and visit.”

“So you’d be able to see me after I die?” Dean blabbed out the thought without thinking.

Castiel huffed, and when Dean looked up, he could see icy blue eyes glaring down at him disapprovingly. “Don’t talk like that, Dean.”

Dean rolled his eyes at Castiel, dismissing the blue stare of doom. “Come on, man… That’s life, you do realize that I’ll die eventually, huh? Like _all humans_ do…”

“That doesn’t mean I like the thought of it.” Castiel replied meekly.

Fair enough. Dean wouldn’t be able to stand the thought of Cas dying either, period.

“But yes, I suppose I would.” Castiel admitted after a prolonged moment of silence. “I don’t think I would be able to stay away from you, even if I wanted to.”

“I’d want you there…” Dean confessed, feeling his face grow hot. “I wouldn’t be truly happy in whatever Heaven that doesn’t include you.”

When Castiel sighed softly, then kissed Dean’s forehead, Dean knew that no more words were needed. Dean could feel himself drifting closer to sleep, but he made sure to hold Cas’ hand just a little tighter before he allowed himself to slip into a disorientating world of Heaven-themed dreams.

~*~*~

Waking up in an empty bed was nothing new to Dean, yet this time, he panicked when he opened his eyes and found that he was all alone. Six in the morning, the alarm clock told him. Castiel’s side of the bed was empty, _cold_ , even though Dean had clear memories of falling asleep in Cas’ arms last night.

He all but jumped out of bed, opening up the curtains to let some of the early morning light stream in. What the hell? Why would Cas be up at this hour? Dean went to investigate, leaving his room to check the guest room that he’d offered to Castiel. It was empty, like Dean’s bed. He frowned as he glanced around the room, not finding any signs that pointed at Cas’ presence.

The bathroom was also empty, and Dean rushed down the stairs, feeling his stomach sink. He half ran into the kitchen, but Castiel was nowhere to be seen. After checking the living room as well and finding nothing, Dean started to _truly_ panic. He was desperate enough to even check the laundry room, along with the spare room on the first floor that was supposed to be an office, even though Dean never used it.

No Cas, not anywhere.

“Cas?” Dean called out as he stumbled back into the living room. “Castiel?”

He called the name again, and again, until he almost choked on it, standing in the middle of the room with shaking hands, waiting for a response that never came.

“No…” Dean whispered, eyes frantically searching the room for any kind of clue.

He froze when he spotted the small black-and-silver object on the coffee table. _The ring_. The one with the angel sigils that Crowley had forced Cas to wear. Castiel had apparently taken it off and left it there, as if leaving behind his last reminder of everything that had happened over the past two weeks...

Dean wanted to move, but his legs felt heavy as lead all of the sudden. He at last picked up the ring with trembling fingers. Castiel had made his choice; there was no other plausible explanation.

Half blinded by tears, Dean rushed out of the room, storming into the kitchen again. He knew it was stupid, but he was looking for a note. Something, _anything_ that Cas could’ve left for him as a goodbye. But even after searching the entire house twice, he found _nothing_.

It was in the middle of the hallway that he fell to his knees, his legs no longer able to carry him. More tears slipped out as Dean helplessly pressed the palms of his hands against the cool tiles that covered the floor.

“You could have at least said _goodbye,_ you son of a bitch!”

He exclaimed the accusation as he glared a hole in the ceiling, his voice breaking as he did. Taking in several shallow breaths, Dean attempted to control himself, but the painful throb in his chest wouldn’t let him. It felt like everything was _hurting_. Even simply _existing_ , was hurting. They never got to say goodbye.

Dean didn’t want to ponder on Cas’ reasons, even if Castiel had found a way to justify this to himself. The least that the both of them had deserved, was one last kiss. One last kiss _knowing_ that it was their last.

Running out of tears, all Dean had left were some dry, broken sobs.

Even if Castiel hadn’t felt that an official farewell was necessary, Dean still had plenty of things that he’d wanted to tell the angel. Important things, things that he probably should’ve said before, but hadn’t because he’d been too goddamned scared.

He stayed there, on the floor, until he could no longer feel his knees, his legs going numb. He ignored the phone when he heard it going off in the distance. Jo, without a doubt; he should’ve been at work by now.

Dean wasn’t sure how much time had passed when he at last found the strength to pull himself up to his feet, and drag his stiff body to the couch. He sat there in silence, elbows resting on his knees, head resting in his hands.

Again, the phone was ringing, cutting through the eerie silence. Dean ignored it like he had the first time, and heard how it switched to voicemail. Jo’s voice echoed through the speaker.

_‘Dean? Why aren’t you at work? Are you okay, Winchester? I tried your cell but you’re not answering that one either. Please just call me back, it’s cool if you don’t wanna come in today for whatever reason, but I’m getting worried here.’_

Fully aware that it made him a major dickwad, he made no move to return her call. Instead he blankly stared at the coffee table, glowering at the offensive ring as if that would make him feel any better. If only he could leave Cas an angry voicemail, or send him a letter; things he could’ve done if this had been a regular breakup...

As Dean picked up the ring again, inspiration struck unexpectedly. The solution was so obvious, Dean didn’t know why he hadn’t thought about it until now. Or scratch that, he _did_ know why; it was the constant pain clawing at his chest that was keeping him from forming any proper thoughts. Either way, it didn’t matter, because there was one last thing that he could at least do to let Cas know that this was far from okay.

Dean determinedly closed his eyes, folding his hands together. He cleared his throat before he started his prayer.

“Heya, Cas…” Dean paused, breathing in and out because he was suddenly feeling lightheaded. “I’m gonna go ahead and guess you’ve got your mojo and your wings back by now. I know you can’t come down here, and I’m not expecting you to, but I also know you _can_ hear me. I want you to be safe, and I stick with what I said… It’s _your choice_. I wouldn’t ever blame you for choosing Heaven, but here’s some news for you… You know what us humans do when we have to leave the love of our life behind for whatever reason? I’ll give you a hint… We say _goodbye._ Dammit Castiel, _we say goodbye_!”

This brought on a new round of tears, but Dean couldn’t care less. Didn’t care that he was yelling into the void again. Didn’t care that he was being brutally honest. However when he continued, he opted for a more gentle tone, because that was what the second part of his confession demanded.

“You know what else, Cas? It’s okay if you were ready to let go, but _I_ still had stuff to tell you… You should’ve at least given me that chance before you left, because I… I need you… And I- _I love you_.”

Dean felt his lower lip tremble uncontrollably when he uttered those three words. He brushed his hands against his tear-stained cheeks, the silence deafening.

The lack of response was exactly what Dean had anticipated, yet deep down, he was disappointed. It all seemed so final. The tiny amount of relief that came with the love confession hardly served to make him feel better, but he suspected that it was going to be all the closure that he was going to get.

Before Dean got up from the couch to call Jo to tell her that he would be there in an hour, he muttered the words one last time for good measure…

“Goodbye, Cas… _I love you_.”


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last official chapter of Fortune Cookies! Part 12 is the epilogue, which is simply a fluffy bonus as the cherry on top. Thank you all for reading my silly little story, and I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I loved writing it.

_‘Time heals all wounds’_ , or so the old cliché stated.

Dean refused to believe in that bullshit phrase. As he forced himself to shower and get dressed for the day, deep down he already knew that he wouldn’t be able to keep this up for the rest of his life. Sure, he could put on a brave face today, tell Jo that Castiel had gone back to wherever the hell it was they thought he came from, and that it was no big deal. He could do it again tomorrow, and probably the day after that.

But what if he had to do it for a month? Several months? A year? Many years? Pretending that it hadn’t all meant something? Especially with the knowledge that such a thing as a soulmate existed, and that Dean’s was out there somewhere, his very heart aching to be close to Castiel… Yeah, how on earth was he ever supposed to move on from that? How could he ever be okay with that, no matter how many seasons passed? It didn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out that eventually, Dean was going to break.

Pausing at Castiel’s room on his way downstairs, Dean was faced with another tough decision. The door was half open, the bed neatly made. What was he going to do with Cas’ clothes and other stuff? Throw them out, clean break and all that? Getting rid of that last reminder so that it would be easier to move on, even though obviously, it would _never_ be easy? Or _keep_ everything, leave the room as it was, if only to have some proof to hold on to. Some proof that the past weeks had actually happened, and that Castiel existed.

At least it were just clothes... Dean hadn’t found the notebook that Cas had turned into a personal journal, but he hadn’t made up his mind yet as to whether he was grateful for that or not.

With a smack, Dean closed the door of the guest room. That would be something for later. Right now, he didn’t want to deal with any of it.

He made his way to the kitchen, but decided on skipping breakfast, his stomach too upset to even care about food. Instead he grabbed his car keys and his phone from the kitchen table, giving himself a mental pep talk before he skipped into the hallway, eyeing the front door with a certain determination. The door that meant taking on the world, and taking on another day. A day that would undoubtedly feel empty and hollow, because an essential part of Dean’s very being was missing all of the sudden.

Nothing to come home to when that day ended, no one to ask him how his day had been. No one to kiss him. No one to hug him, no one to say ‘ _I love you’_ and sincerely mean it.

Dean closed his eyes and breathed in as he rested his hand on the doorknob, fingers touching the cold metal. He could do it. He could go to work now, and collapse later, when he was alone again. Could pretend that his heart hadn’t shattered into a million pieces, all of them lost and searching for the one being in the universe that Dean knew he belonged to, pathetic as that sounded.

He turned the knob and opened the door, sunlight all too bright streaming in and blinding him as he took a large step and crashed straight into something _solid._ Solid, and warm, and robbing Dean of the breath that he’d been trying to hold in.

Blinking slowly, Dean’s eyes adjusted to the sunny day outside, and his slower-than-usual brain concluded that the thing he’d bumped into was in fact _a person._ A person with untamed ebony hair and concerned blue eyes, eyes more brilliant than ever before because the warm yellow of the morning sun was reflected in them. A natural halo of sunlight framed Castiel, putting an end to any coherent thoughts that Dean still had left.

“Dean? Are you alright?”

Dean’s entire body started trembling uncontrollably, his hands shaking as he pressed his palms against the sides of Cas’ face, as if checking that the angel was not some kind of vivid hallucination, something that his brain was making up to help him cope.

The realness of the soft skin and mild stubble under Dean’s fingers were enough to reassure him, and he roughly pulled Castiel into his arms, hiding his face against Castiel’s shoulder as dry sobs that sounded more like hiccups fought their way out of Dean’s throat. Overwhelmed by the familiar scent that he was sure he would never be surrounded by again, Dean willed himself to calm down. Cas was _here_. For now, Dean didn’t give a rat’s ass _how_ , or why.

Castiel didn’t stop him, nor did he ask questions. He simply held Dean, rubbing his hands up and down Dean’s back over and over again. When Dean’s unsteady legs gave out, he lowered himself to the porch steps, taking Cas with him. Neither of them pulled out of the embrace as they sat down.

Time passed; seconds, minutes, hours… Dean didn’t know. All he knew was that when he could properly breathe again and pulled back, wide eyes were watching him with great patience. They stared at him in silence, not judging, not urging, just _waiting._

“You’re _here_.” Dean blurted out at last, voice breaking.

Cas frowned, scrunching his nose the way Dean knew he did whenever he was deeply confused about something.

“Of course I am, where else would I be? I woke up early, and I was unable to go back to sleep because my thoughts were too loud. I didn’t want to wake you up, so I went for a walk.” The fallen angel responded calmly, taking one of Dean’s hands in both of his. “This town is quite nice, I lost track of time when I found the lake nearby, it’s very peaceful…”

Dean blinked, speechless as Cas let go of his hand and reached for something behind them, something dropped when Dean had thrown himself into Castiel’s arms. _The notebook_.

“I brought it with me, I needed a place to think and organize some thoughts. Human emotions are complex, to say the least.” Castiel explained before Dean could even ask. “I wrote things down, hoping that it would help clear my mind. Foolishly so it seems, my head is still rather full.” He added with a frustrated squint of his eyes.

On the stupidity scale, Dean found himself at an alarming eleven. Okay, scratch that, _a twelve_. Cas was still staring at him, silently demanding some kind of elaboration. Dean didn’t even know where to begin. He opened his mouth, only to close it again when no words came out.

The silence went on and on, until Castiel put a hand on Dean’s knee, glancing up at him with a knowing look.

“Wait… You were _worried_ about me, is that it, Dean?” He guessed, still far off the mark, but getting closer. “You shouldn’t have been, because I also brought _this_ with me…”

Castiel paused, then fumbled something out of the pocket of his jeans. It was Dean’s old cellphone, the one that Dean had given to him so that he could call Dean or Sam in case of an emergency, or so that he could text Dean while at work.

And wouldn’t that have been the most rational thing to do? To call Cas on the cellphone that now pretty much belonged to him. The phone that he’d so humanly remembered to take with him when he went out, in case Dean got _worried._

Dean sighed, shaking his head, once more taking a baffled Cas into his arms.

“I’ve been an _idiot_ , Cas, that’s what.” He muttered into the angel’s ear. “Let’s say that you’re already way better at being a reasonable human than I am…”

~*~*~

So Jo might have sounded a little bit irritable when Dean had called her a second time that morning, only to inform her that he wasn’t going to be at work after all. She also might have jokingly mentioned _murdering_ him. Yeah, Dean was grateful that his friend let him off the hook without asking too many tricky questions.

Needing some fresh air himself, Dean took a page out of Cas’ handbook. They ended up at the lake together, sitting on one of the wooden benches, watching the sun as it climbed higher and higher, the breeze messing with the water’s usually smooth surface.

“I’m still having trouble believing that you thought I would ever leave without telling you, that is utterly ridiculous.” Cas mumbled, his head heavily resting against Dean’s shoulder.

Great, some more guilt to add to the ever-growing pile.

“Look, I don’t know what I was thinking, Cas… I just… I knew there was a chance of you leaving, and when I woke up and you weren’t there, and I found that ring you left behind...”

Cas laughed, but there hardly was any real amusement behind it. “That ring was nothing but a reminder of how I’d been cruelly separated from my life and family, I have no reasons to still be wearing it. It irked me, therefore I took it off and left it at home.”

Something was tugging at Dean’s heart. _Home_. Cas had left it _at home_. Home being Dean’s house. He knew it was probably nothing but a mere saying that Castiel had picked up on, but it sounded like music to Dean’s ears nonetheless.

Neither of them spoke for a while, but even though the silence wasn’t uncomfortable, something was hanging in the air between then, heavy and unspoken. The subject that Dean would like to avoid, or ignore altogether, but couldn’t because time was running out.

“So have you…” Dean stopped in the middle of his sentence, and he felt how Cas shifted against his side, probably sensing what was about to come.

“You want to know whether or not I have made a decision yet.” Castiel cut right to the chase.

Dean sighed as he angled his body towards Cas’, wanting to be able to look the angel in the eye even if it meant less physical contact. “Look, I don’t wanna push you, I just… I’m _scared_ , Cas. I mean… Scared doesn’t even begin to cover it, I’m freaking _terrified._ And I know it’s not your fault, but it’s driving me nuts, man.”

As always, Castiel’s expression was warm and open, a sharp contrast to the nature of the conversation that they were having.

“Yes, this morning I became very aware of that.” Cas pointed out, but the never fading softness in his eyes told Dean that it was by no means an accusation.

Feeling his ears turn red, Dean lowered his gaze to where his hands were resting in his lap.

“No, please don’t hide from me…” Cas murmured, taking Dean’s hands in his again as he had done that morning. “You have to understand that a lot depends on this choice.”

“I know.” Dean whispered, guilt kicking in again. “I mean, your family, they-”

“I wasn’t talking about my family, Dean.” Cas interrupted. “I meant _you_.”

Permitting his eyes to find Castiel’s again, Dean stuttered out a confused “ _Me?_ ”

Castiel nodded, both his thumbs now absently brushing against the insides of Dean’s wrists, blue eyes earnest. “Yes… Did it occur to you that a lot will change if I stay for good? I’d have to learn how to be human, Dean. You’d have to help me with it, and I will need time to adjust before I can fully function as a human. Before I can find a job, or earn money. Until then, you’re stuck taking care of me, and I don’t want to intrude like that if you’re not sure what we-”

Dean ended it there. He shut Castiel up by dipping his head and pressing his lips firmly to Cas’. There was a moment of hesitation, but then Cas was kissing him back feverishly, as if he was suddenly starving for it.

As their lips moved, Dean’s thoughts kept moving as well. He couldn’t believe what he’d been hearing. Castiel didn’t doubt whether to stay because of his family, but because of _Dean_. Because he doubted that Dean wanted him to stay.

Breathless, Dean pulled out of the kiss. He had to correct this situation, _right now_. Cas’ eyes displayed a combination of hunger and befuddlement as they watched Dean.

“You…” Dean muttered, one hand cupping Cas’ jaw, his thumb tenderly tracing Castiel’s cheekbone. “You will never be a burden to me, Cas. You’re everything, you… I’d never wanna keep you away from your family but _I need you_ , so much. And even if you stay with me forever, it’s still not gonna be long enough, because I… _I love you_.”

Surprised by his own admission, Dean abruptly snapped his mouth shut as soon as it had slipped out. Those three words, they sounded like a foreign language coming from Dean, even to his own ears. He couldn’t remember saying them before, not ever. There was a possibility that he’d said them to his mother back when he was still a little kid, but he had no clear memory of that, so would it even count?

There was little time to worry about that, for Dean noticed the sudden tears that were staining Castiel’s cheeks. Cas tried to blink them away, never taking his watery eyes off of Dean.

“Hey, hey what’s wrong?” Dean asked urgently, brushing stray tears away with the tips of his fingers. “Talk to me.”

Instead of a verbal reply, Dean unexpectedly found himself with a lap full of angel. Cas was half straddling him on the uncomfortable bench, resting his chin on Dean’s shoulder as he clung to Dean, both hands grasping the front of Dean’s shirt.

“You never said it…” Castiel’s muffled voice could barely be heard. “You never said it back, and I didn’t blame you for it, but I didn’t _know_ , Dean. I couldn’t be sure that you felt it too.”

Oh. Something clicked in Dean’s brain. _Yes, ladies and gentlemen, the douchebag of the year award goes to… Dean Winchester, emotionally constipated jerk who can’t say three simple words to the love of his life, and fails to see how that would make the other insecure._

For a moment, all Dean could do was hold his angel tighter in a silent apology. They breathed in and out together, unmoving, unspeaking, Dean’s legs going numb under Cas’ weight.

“I never said it because I… I never said it to _anyone_.” Dean croaked out when he couldn’t keep it in any longer, his nose buried into Cas’ hair. “I never said it to anyone, but it doesn’t mean that I don’t feel it because… I feel it _with you_ , Cas. I feel it so much it hurts sometimes, and I didn’t know how to deal with it. I’m sorry…”

Another silence, only interrupted by the rustling sound of the trees, and a dog barking in the distance.

When Castiel wiggled himself out of Dean’s arms, leaning back slightly and wiping away his final tears, Dean saw a smile. It was small, reserved, but sincere.

“ _I love you_.” Dean said, loud and clear, the words coming easily now that he’d said them once.

He swore to himself that from now on, he would say them every day, for as long as Cas was willing to stay with him. Castiel didn’t say it back this time, not really; he crushed his mouth to Dean’s, messily humming the words against Dean’s lips.

They made out until a need for oxygen forced them to separate, but as Dean was met with eyes that were more black than blue, he suspected that this was far from over.

His suspicions were confirmed when Castiel pleaded to him. “I want you, Dean… Please take me _home_.”

~*~*~

The air was warm and heavy, Dean’s entire bedroom bathed in sunlight because they hadn’t bothered to close the curtains. Dean grinned as he came down from his high and tried to catch his breath, peering down at the sweaty, satisfied angel that had collapsed in his arms.

“Good, baby?” Dean asked, playfully pinching Cas’ side, already knowing the answer.

Cas’ lopsided smile said it all, and Castiel snuggled closer. For a while, Cas’ index finger was drawing random patterns on Dean’s bare chest.

“Since I am staying, does that mean we can do this _every day_?” Castiel asked out of the blue, dead serious.

Dean laughed softly, amused at how Cas’ newly-found human hormones were clearly having the upper hand here.

Castiel huffed at him in return. “You’re making fun of me.” He accused, directing his angel-of-the-lord scowl at Dean.

Shaking his head, Dean lightly ran his fingers up and down Cas’ spine, causing the angel to shiver under his touch with little effort. “No, I’m not. We can do that as often as you like, no complaints from me.”

Apparently pleased with that reply, Cas planted his cheek against Dean’s chest, looking up at Dean from under his lashes with eyes that were literally shining.

“You’re beautiful, Dean. I can’t believe I get to have you.” Cas murmured almost offhandedly, pinning Dean down with a simple look.

That was a bit too much for Dean, and he quickly made sure to bring the focus back to Castiel.

“You’re not so bad yourself, baby.” He said evasively.

Castiel was glowering at him again. “Will you ever learn to properly take a compliment?”

Nothing more was said on the subject, seeing as Dean didn’t know how to answer that, and Cas didn’t push him. He had a feeling that in time, Castiel was going to teach him, whether Dean liked it or not.

They held gazes for a while, and Dean used the silence to massage circles into Cas’ back, moving higher and higher until he could rub the smooth skin between Castiel’s shoulder blades. The strong muscle moved under Dean’s palm, reminding Dean of something that was no longer there. His old friend _guilt_ paid him yet another visit, and so he had to ask.

“Do you… Do you miss them, Cas?”

Cas was busy doodling figures on Dean’s stomach now, but he answered the question right away.

“Yes, and no… I do miss them, they were after all part of me.” Castiel admitted quietly. “Do _you_ miss them?”

Dean needed a minute to consider.

“Yeah… and no.” He said eventually. “They were really badass, and gorgeous but… The wings I can live without. As long as I still have you, I’m good.”

Castiel smiled, then pressed a gentle kiss over Dean’s heart. “Agreed… The wings I can make do without, as long as it means that I get to be with you, I will manage. Quite frankly, I want to forget about it for now.”

 _Ah_ , that was Dean’s cue.

“I can help with that.” Dean offered, suggestively cocking an eyebrow.

“Are you talking about more sex?” Cas deadpanned, blue eyes lighting up at the suggestion.

Cas’ non-existent subtlety made Dean laugh, but he switched back into serious mode right away.

“Nah, not sex. When _other people_ do it, it’s called sex. When _we_ do it… It’s called _making love_.”

The fallen angel’s eyes went wide, and not much later he was crawling on top of Dean with a predatory look. Dean figured this was another reason why they were perfect for each other; Castiel didn’t mind Dean’s cheesy remarks.

Lips collided in a rush, and tongues were sliding together, Castiel’s hands wandering all over Dean’s body as they kissed. When Cas pulled away and started kissing down Dean’s stomach, Dean could guess where this was headed, and he liked that idea _a lot_ …

A sudden rush of air and the sound of someone clearing their throat made them both yelp. Dean groaned as he recognized the familiar face that belonged to the person standing next to their bed; Castiel’s brother.

“Gabriel!” Cas exclaimed as he hurriedly pulled the blankets up to cover both him and Dean. “Has anyone ever told you that your timing leaves a lot to be desired?”

Gabriel feigned innocence and held up his hands. “In my defense, there’s no such thing as the right time when you and Dean-o are going at it like rabbits _twenty-four-seven_.”

In a way that was positively human, Castiel threw a pillow at his brother’s head, then questioningly glanced back at Dean with those big blues. Dean didn’t like to deny his angel, but it was time to accept defeat.

“Sorry, baby… Game over.” He said, sympathetically patting Cas’ back. “We’ve just been what humans like to call ‘ _cock blocked_ ’.”

~*~*~

The sun was about to set, looking more orange than yellow. Dean stared out of the window that looked out on his back yard, where Castiel and Gabriel were currently having a quiet conversation. If this was goodbye, Dean figured that the least he owed them was some privacy.

He fumbled with the object still in his hands, a notebook with a simple black cover. Castiel had given it to him, had said that he no longer needed it, and that he didn’t mind Dean reading his thoughts if he wanted to.

Dragging his eyes away from the backyard, Dean sat down at the dining table, putting down the glass of liquor that he’d poured himself. He flipped through the notebook, pausing on a random page, taking a sip of whiskey as he started reading.

_‘Dean Winchester is making me feel things that I have never experienced before. Calling it love would be rash, but I feel myself craving his closeness rather than wanting to go home to my family. There’s not a doubt in my mind that he cares about me in return, but I’ve found that human love is more complicated than simply caring or not caring, and that caring doesn’t always equal the kind of love that I feel towards him. I should try to find out about different types of love, I could ask Charlie, she seemed very nice and helpful...’_

Dean disbelievingly shook his head at the thought of his angel ever doubting that Dean wanted him, especially seeing as Dean had been convinced that his feelings for Castiel could be seen from the moon.

He turned the page, eyes landing on something else that Cas had scribbled down. A smile was slowly creeping up Dean’s face when he realized that it was a recipe, the one for the pasta that Castiel had attempted to cook after seeing it on TV. Turning another page, Dean found more confessions, insecurities that Cas had already whispered into his ear by now, but were fascinating to read all the same.

When he reached the last entry, his eyes started burning, his heart stuttering in his chest. It were a few short sentences, messy handwriting. Castiel must have hastily written it down before handing the book to Dean. Dean recognized the first sentence, had heard it before when Castiel  had read it to him in the car.

_‘Prepare to be faced with the choice between eternity and true love.’_

It was followed by a few words that were Cas’ own, one scratched out.

_‘ ~~Eternity~~_

_True love’_

A single tear slipped out, a happy one this time.

Yup, Dean Winchester had fallen in love, and while he was at it he’d also turned into the biggest sap in the history of mankind. There was no other way to explain away that warm, fuzzy feeling that was running through his veins. Surely those two sips of whiskey couldn’t have been the cause of the giddiness that was threatening to overwhelm him.

He grinned, no shame. It was good to be in love.

When out of nowhere a hand was firmly placed on Dean’s shoulder, he all but jumped in his seat. Snapping his head around, he came face to face with Gabriel.

The archangel clicked his tongue. “Guilty conscience, Dean-o? Just relax, I don’t bite. Unless you’re something sweet or chocolaty of course.”

“Sneaking up on people is clearly an angel thing.” Dean complained, downing his drink, then getting up from his seat. “Where is Cas?”

“Aha… So he was right, you _are_ crazy worried about losing him. That’s good.” Gabriel chuckled, pointing at the window.

Dean followed Gabriel’s gaze, and sure enough Castiel was sitting in the grass, cross legged, writing something down.

“Some goodbyes for me to pass on to the siblings that he cares about.” Gabriel clarified. “Meanwhile, I thought I’d take this opportunity to give you _the speech_.”

“Seriously?” Dean grumbled, not believing that it was his turn to be at the receiving end of one of these.

Gabriel nodded.

“The ‘ _hurt my brother and I will end you’_ speech?” He verified.

Again, Gabriel cocked his head as an affirmation. “That would be the one. Although judging by how you’re treating our Cassie, that speech would be very much wasted on you.”

“Yeah… I don’t think you have to worry there.” Dean scratched the back of his neck, sneaking a glance at Cas again, who was now getting up to his feet. “For what it’s worth… It was never my plan to, you know, _steal_ him from Heaven.”

There was a loud snort from Gabriel.

“Oh please, if I thought you had evil intentions, I wouldn’t have let him stay here in the first place.” The archangel winked. “Besides, I already got a _heads up,_ I knew what he was gonna pick.”

Before Dean could ask how, Cas stepped back into the room, marking the end of their little chat.

“Is everything alright here?” Castiel asked as he made his way to Dean’s side, his eyes curiously flickering between Dean and his brother.

“All good.” Dean assured him, loosely wrapping an arm around Castiel’s waist and resting his hand on Cas’ hip.

Castiel reflexively leaned into it as he handed his letters to Gabriel. “Thank you for doing this. All of it.”

Gabriel shrugged it off as he took the letters and put them away, then produced a candy bar out of nowhere. “Who would I be to deny my little brother his happy ending, huh? And hey, I will be _watching_ you two. Take care, little bro.”

Tapping a finger against his temple, Gabriel sent his younger brother one last wink. After a salute to Dean, he was gone in a flash.

A candy wrapper fell to the floor, and Dean couldn’t resist rolling his eyes.

“He’s an okay guy, but he needs to learn to clean up his mess.” He muttered as he picked it up.

Castiel laughed, the sound more carefree than Dean had heard it in days.

On his way to the kitchen to dump it in the garbage bin, Dean’s eyes by chance fell on the wrapper again. He paused as he read the single sentence that was randomly printed on the inside.

‘ _Someone dear to you must take their own path. Love means letting go.’_

So that was what Gabriel had meant; It hadn’t been _Dean’s_ fortune, it had been _Gabriel’s._

Not much later Cas wandered into the kitchen as well, opening the fridge and after a good minute complaining that he was famished -who even still used that word nowadays, not Dean, that’s for sure-, but that there was nothing to his liking.

And Dean? Dean was extremely proud as he surprised Cas by hugging him from behind, because he could already tell that his angel was going to make a _very awesome_ human.

 


	12. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Better late than never, a fluffy epilogue from Castiel's POV, enjoy! :)

**_Two years later…_ **

Castiel felt remarkably small as he watched the setting sun, rays of orange and gold reaching out to the ocean. Somehow, he didn’t mind all that much. He’d gotten used to it by now; all of the tiny things that he used to see when looking down, were towering over him now whenever he looked up. The sky, the stars… Even the universe.

The fallen angel glanced over his shoulder from where he was sitting cross-legged in the warm sand, smiling as he watched how Dean said goodnight to Sam who was carrying his daughter back to the cabin by the sea that they’d rented for the week. With both Winchesters owning their own company now, they were lucky to get the opportunity to arrange this short beach vacation. About an hour ago, Jess had already headed back to take a shower, playfully declaring that it was three men and a little lady now.

When Castiel hadn’t understood the reference, Dean had promised that they’d watch that movie soon.

Castiel turned back to the scenery, watching the waves as they crashed onto the shore. Not much later, he felt how someone was sitting down beside him in the sand, a warm body pressing against his side, a chin resting on his shoulder. Two arms curled around Castiel’s waist, and Castiel sighed happily.

“Bet Grace is gonna be out like a light in no time, I mean after all of that fresh air today.” Dean said, chuckling as he mentioned their niece.

Laughing along quietly, Castiel nodded. “She won’t be keeping her parents awake tonight, that’s a given. Or us, for that matter… Being an uncle is hard work, but I enjoy it.”

When Castiel turned his head, amused green eyes were staring back at him, a hint of orange hidden within the green. “Yeah, baby… Me too.”

Oh, how Castiel loved this man. He wrapped his arms around Dean’s neck, pulling him closer to make their lips meet in the middle. When they parted after sharing many kisses, the atmosphere suddenly shifted.

There was a long silence, and Castiel noticed how Dean looked a little restless as the sun made room for the stars. Nervous even. In fact, the last time Dean had looked that nervous, was when he’d officially offered Castiel a job at the bakery, a job that Castiel had gladly accepted.

“Is everything alright, Dean?” Castiel questioned eventually, feeling a tad scared himself because something appeared to be bothering Dean immensely.

What if it was about Castiel? What if it was about _them_? Were soulmates really meant to stay together until the very end of it all, or could Dean have changed his mind?

“No, Cas no.” Dean muttered hastily, obviously guessing his thoughts, cupping Castiel’s face in both his hands. “There’s something I want to talk about, but it’s nothing bad… I mean, I don’t think it’s bad, it’s just… I need to ask you something.”

Castiel blinked at the human that he’d given everything for, the moon illuminating Dean’s handsome face.

“Anything.” Castiel answered, because it was the truth.

And immediately, Dean seemed less afraid, his features less tense.

“Marry me, Cas.” He blurted out, both his thumbs trembling as he traced Castiel’s cheekbones. “Be mine… For real.” He added in a whisper.

Castiel’s heart was racing. Whenever he thought he had it all, Dean never failed to give him even more. All but throwing himself at Dean, the two of them crashed into the now cool sand, Castiel breathing the answer against Dean’s lips.

Murmurs of “ _yes_ ” and “ _always_ ”.

~*~*~

Narrowing his eyes, Castiel examined the small object on one of the pillows of the spacious bed that belonged to him and Dean for the weekend.

Dean had asked Castiel to join him in the shower, but Castiel was momentarily distracted. Taking a closer look, he recognized that shape; a fortune cookie.

He picked it up with caution, carefully breaking it open, only to smile broadly when he unfolded the minuscule piece of paper and read the message.

 

_‘Congrats, little bro. Or should I say Mr. Winchester? Counting on an invitation!_

_~Gabriel’_

**Author's Note:**

> For more Destiel stories, go to destieldrabblesdaily.tumblr.com


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